requisitename said:
I don't view it as necessarily distasteful. I apologize if I came across that way. I just don't see them as at all comparable.
I can see killing someone in wartime as being much more comparable because it is technically a choice you make (regardless of the reasons). I don't think there's really a
good analogy, though.
I have a friend who was transgendered in high school and is now a guy. He and I have discussed at length what went into the decision making process and I must admit that, although I accept it and I'm glad he's happy, I don't understand it at all. I really think it's something that you probably *can't* truly understand unless it's part of your own life. I would think, for instance, that once you've made the decision and gone through with it, it would be so
freeing to be able to be who you are. But, as I said, I can't claim to understand it.
As for worthy of love.. I really think that everyone is, regardless of what they do. It's perfectly possible, however, to love someone and not want to be with them because they deceived you.
The analogies made here are problematic, though I can see where they're coming from.
So let's look at the implications.
A transsexual changes their body. This is a choice. But it's only a choice because it has to be. Their body won't change itself.
This is one of the main things separating it from homosexuality insofar as how you are confronted with it.
Being homosexual isn't usually considered a choice. It's just something you are. And when you 'come out' all you are actually doing is being honest with yourself about this.
Transsexuals face the idea of 'coming out' as well, but to them it is merely a first step, because what you're facing if you are trans is an issue that isn't resolved merely by admitting you are. Your body is a source of conflict, and it takes a lot of effort to cope with. All that surgery and hormonal intervention isn't done just on some kind of whim, it is a medical intervention intended to reduce this innate, ongoing discomfort as much as possible.
But... This discomfort is
caused by feeling as if you are one thing, when the biology of your own body mostly implies you are something else.
Being reminded of this fact is generally traumatic in and of itself. All the more so if you think you've finally managed to put it behind you.
So, this is more than merely a question of honesty, but also a question of being expected to constantly revisit something you'd rather forget.
Now, not everyone is that insecure, but on the whole, a transsexual doesn't want to be constantly reminded of what they used to be. (Or that some people
still think of them that way, which in some ways is even worse.)
OK, so you can't expect others to play along with that just because... But at the end of the day you are expecting someone to basically do themselves psychological damage for the sake of being 'honest' with someone else.
In any event, while I can't tell you this expectation of 'honesty' is wrong, I do find it somewhat disturbing how much it potentially trivialises the transsexual's own perspective.