If you could create any animal imaginable, what would you make?

JoJo

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[HEADING=1]INJUSTICE LEAGUE[br]ASKS[br][small]-If you could create any animal imaginable, what would you make?-[/small][/HEADING]​

Good evening, ladies, gentlemen and gender unidentified Escapists. Today I'm leading in with a slightly more serious question... nah, just kidding, this is another silly hypothetical thread!

So, say you have been slaving away in your secret base for years and finally you hit upon the perfect technique for... growing your own animal. The only limitations are that your new animal must be based on one or more existing animals, other than that feel free to let your imagination go wild as you design your genetic monstrosity. Claws, beaks, fins, tails, the possibilities are endless. As a bonus question, what would you use your animal for?

[HEADING=3]The Winged Lobster[/HEADING]



[small]Artist's impression[/small]​

Okay, this crustacean is the wrong colour, it shouldn't be red until after it's cooked. Nevertheless this is a fair representation of what I would create if I could create any animal: the mythical winged lobster, or 'angel lobster'. The grasping claws and flexible breathing of a lobster, combined with the speed and manoeuvrability of an airborne species, would result in a formidable mount that could carry it's rider both above and below the ocean. Plus, if it is slain in battle, no sense in letting all that meat go to waste ;-)

[HEADING=3]TL:DR: What would you make?[/HEADING]​
[hr]

[small]-JoJo-[/small]
[small]-Captain of the Henchmen-[/small]
 

Rowan93

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Aug 25, 2011
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Well, if it has to be slightly limited by actual biology - "one or more existing animals" - then i guess I'll just go with something tried-and-tested: The Tyrannosaurus Rex.

What would I do with it? Commute.
 

Zontar

Mad Max 2019
Feb 18, 2013
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A domesticated, cat-sized tiger. Why? Because who wouldn't want one! I know I would. Plus they would be just to adorable to not want.
 

Vegosiux

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May 18, 2011
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Ooooh, this is Impossible Creatures all over again! I loved my Tigorpions.

I'd go for a winged lynx. I'd use it to pick up my groceries and patrol the airspace above my home. And stuff like that. Maybe a hockey match or two (just go with it, in-joke).

Can't decide on the kind of wings though yet.
 

Queen Michael

has read 4,010 manga books
Jun 9, 2009
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I'd create a huge grey thing. It'd have this really long nose, and flat feet. Huge ears, too.
And it'd be able to toot its nose somehow.
 

Tireseas_v1legacy

Plop plop plop
Sep 28, 2009
2,419
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A xenomorph with leathery wings, because if there's one thing that could make them more terrifying is if they could fly and block out the sky.
 

Reed Spacer

That guy with the thing.
Jan 11, 2011
841
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A three-toed sloth with a point-defense system.

"Yeah, I'm the slowest animal on the planet, but just try fucking with me."
 

Foolery

No.
Jun 5, 2013
1,714
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A turkeybear. It would be terrifying. Hmm. Let's do an image search and see what comes up.
Here we go.
 

Barbas

ExQQxv1D1ns
Oct 28, 2013
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Hmmmm...well, I must say that I was impressed by the effectiveness of the Tiger-scorpion and Wolf-shark as front-line soldiers in Impossible Creatures.

I'd probably have to settle on the [extraordinarily majestic] Tiger-owl, though - finally, poachers have nowhere to hide!

Um...no pictures yet, unfortunately. The new arrivals are somewhat camera shy.
 

Hero in a half shell

It's not easy being green
Dec 30, 2009
4,286
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The Whaleyphant

Size and body of a blue whale, legs of an elephant (except larger of course) and it lives 100% on land, eats toxic waste and plastic refuse and farts fertiliser.

I would use my animal for... just an amazing view. That would be enough
 

sanquin

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Jun 8, 2011
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I'd mix a T-Rex with a Brontosaurus to increase it's size. Then add some giant squid for tentacles, a little turtle for strong scales, a dash of cobra so it can spit poison, and finally some pterodactylus to give it wings. For what purpose? Taking over the world of course!

On a more serious note. A lion mixed with a goat and a snake, and finally some pterodactylus to increase it's size and give it wings. So I would have my own Chimera! :D Purpose: CHIMERA! What other purpose is needed?
 

TakerFoxx

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Jan 27, 2011
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A velociraptor. Not a real-life, poodle-sized bird thing velociraptor, a totally fictional, six-foot, warm-blooded, lizard from Jurassic Park velociraptor. And he will be my best friend. We will go play fetch in the park, take long walks together every evening.
 

FPLOON

Your #1 Source for the Dino Porn
Jul 10, 2013
12,531
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[Ancient Psychic] Tandem War Elephants!

...It's the animal that only allows me the power to control it... *maniacal laughter*

Plus, it's a giant F-U to traveling by any sort of private mechanical transportation, which is just an added bonus in my book...
 

skywolfblue

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Jul 17, 2011
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Bunny Rabbits transplanted with Wolverine brains!

It looks like a harmless bunny rabbit, but now it's a perpetually angry and vicious biting machine!

Then as a proper Evil Overloard, instead of a Viper pit, I throw heroes into a pit of voracious bunnies!
 

NightmareWarden

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Jul 2, 2011
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I will begin by completely ignoring part of the instructions. My creature is not technically an animal, however it is not a plant, nor even a fungus. It is a slime mold! (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Slime_mold) Supersize this glop into the form of life this world has been waiting for!
Castles cannot become dungeons (or secret laboratories for my fellow mad scientists) for villains until the dreaded slime beasts arise to slowly squick out the earth. Yes the muck monsters grow from pollution, the goop goliaths spawn from cut down and drained swamps, the organic oozes invade radioactive sites, and finally the pandemonium protoplasms seek out all practitioners of the dark magics.
 

Strazdas

Robots will replace your job
May 28, 2011
8,407
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But what if the animal already exist?

It is a giant bearsized sloth! What more do you need. and just look at dat muscles!
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Megatherium
 

Teoes

Poof, poof, sparkles!
Jun 1, 2010
5,174
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Sharks with frikkin' lase- No, can't do it. Cthulhu - damn, ninja'd.

Bear-sized chinchillas. They would be utterly fearsome when they're giving you nibblies, but OH MY GOD just think how lovely it'd be to hug them.

skywolfblue said:
Bunny Rabbits transplanted with Wolverine brains!

It looks like a harmless bunny rabbit, but now it's a perpetually angry and vicious biting machine!
That's no ordinary rabbit..