If you could create any animal imaginable, what would you make?

[immortalfrieza]

How come nobody mentioned it yet? DRAGON, of course. Huge intelligent reptile, preferrably with wings and some kind of breath attack. it SHOULD work, somehow. Maybe not true flight but still. If we can't make it fire-breathing, can we add some kind of spider venom that melts the prey and makes it more edible?

Mix a few dinosaurs together and that should be doable. How about mixing in a little spitting cobra? Now we just have to make sure it won't eat it's owner and it'll be perfect.

 

[Tactical Pause]

Hm, I wonder if I still have it on my hard-drive... Yes, yes I do. You may now once again witness its unmatched beauty, grace, and majesty.

Spoiler

Gaze upon the Bearsharkigator. Gaze upon it and weep.

 

[Ieyke]

A Blue Whale with far less blubber and hollow bones who's digestive system produces an obscene amount of helium, enough to float. It would be steered with a wheel not unlike one that might be found on a 17th century galleon, attached to a series of levers and cables which move around a large bag of... krill or something... which the skywhale would follow. I could then not only tie a cabin to the bottom and live/travel the world in it, but when it farts, collect the gas and sell it (because the world's helium reserves are dwindling). Just imagine the absolute, unadulterated majesty of such a creature! It would even have a natural horn (in the form of its voice) that can be activated by tickling its gargantuan belly with a feather on a stick. Clearly, nothing could or would go wrong.

Congrats, you've just imagined the Soarwhale, my preferred and typical method of travel in D&D.

A blue whale with wings that travels through time and space would be awesome. Just imagine someone flying a spaceship and BOOM! A fucking blue whale comes out of a wormhole and just goes flying by making whale noises. Sitting on the front porch with your kid/GF/BF/Wife/Husband/etc. and boom! A blue whale just flies up from the ocean and into the starry night.

And you have imagined the Windfish, my favorite Zelda entity.

(I like whales. Anyone care to go for the Kyogre trifecta?)

 

[BunnyMomiji]

Cabbits are a thing that need to be real and adorable.

And apparently I'm too lame to come up with something cool and original.

 

[Canadamus Prime]

I'd breed Cerberus. Three dogs for the price of one. Who wouldn't want a giant 3 headed dog?

 

[Disturbed-Hell]

Well, I'd create a naga, obviously. Not the more modern style of naga that has 6 arms and/or fins all over the place, just a reasonably simple half human, half giant snake hybrid.

Spoiler: Along the lines of this:

Spoiler: Rather than this:

Or maybe they're called "lamia" nowadays?

 

[cojo965]

Just domestic versions of wild cats. You know, stuff like the domestic bobcat, domestic serval, domestic tiger, domestic lion and the like. We have absurdly big domestic dogs, why not absurdly big domestic cats?

 

[Mutie]

I don't particularly want to be "that guy"... But Bulbasaur.
...
That is all.

 

[CriticalMiss]

Whalepig. A pig the size of a blue whale.

Imagine the bacon...

 

[MiskWisk]

I'd make some form of flying six legged bovine type creature that would be large enough to ride easily.
I shall dub it the sky-bison!

Alternatively, I'd create a Golden Chocobo.

 

[Synthetica]

The animal equivalant of Mew: composed of the dna of all animals, and capable of transforming at will (Yes I'm lazy.)

 

[O maestre]

A pig crossed with a cow crossed with a chicken that farted oxygen somehow and with blood that turned into cocaine once in contact with saliva.

Then I'd sit back and watch the money rain down around my house... which would eventually become a crib, with 16 gold plated bathrooms and 40 pools and scantly clad women dancing to the beat... the beat of money rain pouring from my Pigcken Crack-Ox sellin its sweet tender-wing-bacon-coke.


captcha: Rack and ruin

Yes, perhaps but I'll make a fortune!

 

[shootthebandit]

A giant bumblebee the size of a small dog (with no stinger). Imagine how cool that would be just a big fluffy fuzzy thing

 

[O maestre]

Something human enough to have sex with, but dumb and horny enough that it wouldn't know any better.

Basically a man that looks, smells and feels like a woman.

A male to female transsexual?


Captcha: Forbidden fruit

Don't be so close minded captcha!

 

[Johnny Impact]

I was going to say "an animal that would eat the stupid" because we have so many of them in America. Stupids, I mean, not stupid-eating animals. Ideally this predator would be able to smell stupidity and home in on it, preferring fools and morons to all other meals.

Since it has to be based on real animals, I guess I'll have to compromise. I would start with a large predator -- tiger, grizzly bear, something like that -- and infuse enough chimpanzee brain to increase its intelligence without sacrificing killer instinct. Bonus points if I can increase the functionality of its paws to make them more like hands while maintaining the killing strength of its claws.

I was going to say "chameleon skin" but the loss of fur would likely make it unable to survive in colder areas. I want a beast that can threaten fools wherever they go.

Introduced en masse, it would tend to feed on the stupid, since they are by nature unobservant, have little to no grasp of concepts like safety or mortality, and are slow to come to decisions, even really important ones like I WILL RUN AWAY NOW.

 

[PFCboom]

This is a Kirre, from Advanced Dungeons & Dragons. First, it's a kitty and I like kitties. Second, it's a big kitty, at an average of 8 feet long, with 8 legs. Third, it's a smart kitty, able to understand whatever I say. Fourth, it's a smart kitty with a tendency to murder anything it doesn't like with claws, horns, barbed tail and psionic mind-fuckery.
http://www.dotd.com/mm/kirre.gif
I'nt it cute? ^_^

 

[geK0]

A large bird with 10 sets of wings that regrow when they are removed. The bird sheds it's wings to grow new ones on it's own and the wings stay fresh for several days after being shed. The wings are about the same size as a turkey's wings and contain natural fluids that taste like buffalo wing sauce. The bird can live on a few cups of dried corn a week, it's excrements are small dry pellets that have a weak odor and are easy to clean up. The bird is also very mild mannered and makes a fantastic house pet.