Inept Smuggler Hides Cocaine in Xbox 360

The Wooster

King Snap
Jul 15, 2008
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Inept Smuggler Hides Cocaine in Xbox 360


Sadly, the non-hidden cocaine gave the game away.

Carols Valenuela and his friend Charlie - who weighs exactly 1.8kg and is enormously popular at parties - were taking a drive through Texas, when they were pulled over after Carlos failed to signal a turn at an intersection. The cop from the El Paso County Sheriff's Office who pulled them over noticed that 42-year-old, Carlos, was rather nervous, and that he kept casting surreptitious glances towards the bag on the seat next to him. The bag, of course, contained vast quantities of cocaine.

Now, Carlos had quite cleverly hidden two bricks of cocaine inside the gutted remains of a classic Xbox 360. Unfortunately, he'd chosen a slightly less convincing disguise for the remaining brick - namely a " brick-like bundle wrapped in brown tape." Naturally the sniffer dogs were called in, and shortly thereafter the Xbox was prised open, revealing the drugs within.

Valenzuela now faces a charge of manufacture or delivery of a controlled substance. Assuming this is the first time he's been caught and he wasn't arrested within 1,000 feet of a school or youth center, he's facing anywhere between 15 to 99 years in state prison and a fine of "not more than $250,000." He's been placed on a $25,000 bond.

Source: KFOX14 [http://www.kfoxtv.com/news/news/police-man-found-bricks-cocaine-hidden-inside-xbox/nNWfb/] via GamePolitics [http://gamepolitics.com/2012/05/05/man-arrested-cocaine-concealed-xbox-360]

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kajinking

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Aug 12, 2009
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You would think that with all the money to be made smuggling drugs he could afford a second 360 for the last brick. Hell maybe he could have crammed it into a Wii or PS3, anything is better than a very suspcious looking brown brick.
 

antipunt

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Jan 3, 2009
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Sometimes I forget how harsh drug-dealing penalties can actually be.

too many movies mang, too many movies. And...maybe GTA too...
 

FoolKiller

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Feb 8, 2008
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superbatranger said:
I'd be more impressed if the 360 still worked.
kajinking said:
You would think that with all the money to be made smuggling drugs he could afford a second 360 for the last brick. Hell maybe he could have crammed it into a Wii or PS3, anything is better than a very suspcious looking brown brick.
For fuck sakes. You'd think he could also have both consoles (if he had the brains to use two consoles) inside their boxes. Or maybe the collector's edition of skyrim. That naturally weighed a ton.
 

Therumancer

Citation Needed
Nov 28, 2007
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shameduser said:
15 to 99 years in prison? WTF that's a long time.
... and yet it's not enough because people keep doing stuff like this.

To be honest I suspect the guy won't get anywhere near that, the guy is apparently a mule and he'll probably wind up being asked to trade whoever he was porting the drugs for, in exchange for a lower sentence.

Also the cop's story reeks of bullshit, the guy "nervously eyeing the package next to him" during a "routine traffic stop" that just happens to have that much coke? I'd imagine the cop actually got a tip, pulled the guy over, and is using that as an excuse for searching the vehicle to the extent he did. Don't get me wrong, I think the cops should be able to search cars like this, and the search and seizure laws (the way they are interpeted and practiced) are ridiculous, BUT when it goes to court any lawyer worth a crap is going to be all over how the cop justified searching the vehicle... the claim seems rather weak.

I also have to wonder about the brown paper bag that was so obvious, a guy smart enough to divulge the game box cover (in case of a search) doesn't seem like he would have pakced things like that. It makes me wonder about drugs being planted to justify checking the X-box (knowing what he was using as cover, given the tip), or if the guy was under pressure from his boss to run more material than he was able to properly cover, which means he's more than likely going to be willing to cop a deal.

This is all speculation of course, it's just what I think. I doubt he's going to wind up facing the full potential penelties. The authorities probably have an interest in not having the case fully challenged in court due to the search, and the guy in question seems to be in a perfect position to turn on the people who he works for, because if THEY screwed up any other criminal contacts probably won't blame him if he was made to try and transport more drugs than his set up could safely handle.
 

McMullen

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Mar 9, 2010
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Why would you hide two bricks and leave one unhidden? What the hell is the point?

I understand that drugs aren't exactly catalysts of great wisdom, but even accounting for impaired reasoning, some of the things I've seen druggies do or heard of them doing just go beyond stupidity.

Carlos should be locked up for 50 years just to keep his poor judgement from tainting whatever he might come into contact with out in the wider world.
 

dalek sec

Leader of the Cult of Skaro
Jul 20, 2008
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So he took all the time and effort for the first two bricks but the last one he just went "Fuck it!" on? I just wish more criminals were this stupid...

I'd like to think that he could have just bought say a used Wii, gut the console and then just cram it all in there and boom, he's good to go. This literally made me face palm.
 

EternalFacepalm

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Feb 1, 2011
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That's not exactly what one would phrase as "surprising", but alright.

What boggles my mind is how these are really gaming news at all.
 

Xan Krieger

Completely insane
Feb 11, 2009
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Should've thrown the last brick in the glove compartment, then he'd have had no problems. He could've even just put it under his seat.

Also I don't really see the crime here, it's not like he had explosives or anything. Just something people enjoy and that the government banned for a reason that nobody really knows.
 

DustyDrB

Made of ticky tacky
Jan 19, 2010
8,365
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I heard somewhere that that's a hell of a drug.
shameduser said:
15 to 99 years in prison? WTF that's a long time.
I think (keyword: "I'm ill-informed and really have no place making this commentary" "think") that the punishment is steep because they are really trying to be extra hard on drug-trafficking in Texas due to the overall situation around the border. Drug-trafficking goes behind drug-trafficking. It's a very bloody business.
 

Link Kadeshi

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Oct 17, 2008
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Grey Carter said:
Carols Valenuela and his friend Charlie - who weighs exactly 1.8kg and is enormously popular at parties - were taking a drive through Texas, when they were pulled over after Carlos failed to signal a turn as an intersection.
Well, as an intersection, he should have known the dangers of not signaling properly. How irresponsible can two intersecting roads be? Guess you can't expect much from something that normally just lays there, not even willing to move out of the way of vehicles.
 

Kakashi on crack

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Aug 5, 2009
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Is it bad that I find it more wrong that we might put this guy away for drug charges, for longer than we would someone for beating a child or Raping another being?