Informing children of the birds and the bees

[PureChaos]

One of my colleagues recently found out she is pregnant with her third child but she's starting to fret a tad about her 2 sons. Not sure of their exact age but they're around 7 and 5 and my colleague is a bit worried they are going to start asking where babies come from because she isn't sure what to tell them.

So, what age is best to inform children of that type of thing? If you were in my colleague's position, what would you tell your children?

 

[Rylingo]

Whenever they ask about it. Should they not ask by the time they are 10/11 you need to tell them.

Parents have become to obsessed with protecting their childrens innocence to the point were they become a danger to said child.

 

[DugMachine]

Honestly not sure.. I found out on my own before my dad had a sit down with me the first time I brought a girl to the house so 12-14ish would be a decent time to really inform them on how it all works.

5 or 7 though.. eh I doubt they would fully understand what you're telling them at that age so just make up a silly story. Probably what I'd do until they were older than have another sit down and tell them how it really is.

 

[EeveeElectro]

I'm not sure how much they'd understand at 7 years old. Maybe 9/10 is a good age to mention it, it's best to try and stay within the schools curriculum so they don't know too much at a young age.
I would focus more on relationships before sex, how to treat boyfriends and girlfriends nicely and I'll certainly educate them on same sex couples so they don't think it's weird because schools in the UK are failing that.

For the record, my dad would say "I'll tell you when your older" and my mum would freak the fuck out over anything sex related like it was illegal and wouldn't talk to us about anything. I think that may go some way in explaining my sister having a child at 15 and my brother having 4 kids at 24. (Before anyone assumes they're just chavvy scum, they're actually very good parents and their kids are amazing). Partly their stupidity (and failed contraceptives on my sister-in-laws behalf) but my mum acting like a complete freak over sex didn't help matters at all.

 

[JoJo]

Any age is fine, it doesn't take much of a cognitive leap to understand that a penis goes into a vagina, shoots out semen and if successful, nine months later a baby emerges from the woman's vagina. It's just nature, nothing to be ashamed about ;-)

 

[Raikas]

So, what age is best to inform children of that type of thing? If you were in my colleague's position, what would you tell your children?

1. When they ask.
2. The truth.

Honestly, I think some people worry about this more than they need to. Does the family have pets? If so, the kids have probably seem them humping something. And if not, have they driven past a farm? Let it come up in some non-human context first and then go from there.

5 or 7 though.. eh I doubt they would fully understand what you're telling them at that age so just make up a silly story..

I'm not sure how much they'd understand at 7 years old.

Come on now, give the kids some credit. 30 years ago when my mother was expecting my sister and I was 4 my grandparents gave me a book about it - and that included a picture of an infant emerging from the mother (an illustration, not a photo) - it's really not that complex of a concept for a child to grasp. If you leave out all the social baggage and stick to the basic biology, I think that makes it easier.

 

[krazykidd]

Reason number 43 why i don't want children .

I honestly don't know . Also kids are stupid , so i would informe the. As late as possible , before my ( hypothetical ) 12 year old daughter decides that she want's real baby instead of a doll and starts inserting penises inside her because she thinks it would be fun to have a baby . Hell teenagers barely grasp the concept and end up getting pregnant at 14-15, imagine what a child will do!

 

[Zhukov]

Hang on, how the hell did her kid reach the age of 7 without knowing where babies came from?

I knew what went where by my first year of school. As far as I'm aware, this terrible knowledge didn't damage my poor little mind.

Anyway, while a lot of people freak out over this stuff, the funny thing is that the kids don't really care. If you tell them how it all works, with penises and vaginas and eggs and sperm and the whole shebang then they'll more than likely just be like, "Oh, alright", and move on. They're not all that interested beyond simple curiosity and them knowing about sex isn't going to defile their childish innocence and purity or whatever.

Fun Fact: I don't actually know how the birds-and-bees metaphor works since my parents skipped past it and went straight for the dicks and vaginas explanation. I mean, I know it's a cutesy way to describe sex and conception, but I don't actually know the details of what represents what. So, the bees are penises, the birds are women and... pollen is sperm... or something?

 

[Johnny Novgorod]

Tell 'em whenever they ask, if they do ask. I don't remember having any major sit down involving babies, sex or anything of the sort. If you really want to know you find out for yourself, it's not that hard, and not that big a deal to be honest. By avoiding the 'issue' you're making it way more important than it really is.

 

[Strain42]

I never asked and my parents never told, and I turned out just...

...

...okay, bad example. Yeah, maybe communication is important on this subject.

 

[Phrozenflame500]

Wait, he's already 7?

Shit, I learned about it when I was 6. I looked up "sex" in the dictionary and came across a very descriptive definition for sexual intercourse. I took it surprisingly well, I found it more amusing then shocking.

 

[Mikeyfell]

One of my colleagues recently found out she is pregnant with her third child but she's starting to fret a tad about her 2 sons. Not sure of their exact age but they're around 7 and 5 and my colleague is a bit worried they are going to start asking where babies come from because she isn't sure what to tell them.

So, what age is best to inform children of that type of thing? If you were in my colleague's position, what would you tell your children?

Well there are two ways your colleague could go with this. Lie, or tell the truth.

Now telling the truth seems like the best way to go when it comes to things like this, but-
Lying has it's own benefits, such as having your children grow up ignorant and stupid...oh wait that's not a benefit. She should just tell her kids the truth.

 

[lumenadducere]

People really do worry about this way more than they should. My parents told me when I was really young because my mom's an OB/GYN and figured her kids should know the truth rather than make up stupid stories. So I already knew the details by the time other kids were figuring it out or being given "the talk." This had the side benefit of me just shrugging and not considering it a big deal when everyone else was snickering and going "oh ho ho, penis and vagina, how funny."

Kids can be dumb, yes, but they pick up on a lot of stuff that adults don't fully realize. If the parents are all awkward and shameful about sex then that impacts the kids' perceptions of it. If the parents just treat it as normal but not something to do until you're older and ready, then it isn't a big deal. It's all based on how you present it to the child. I think most people treat it as a shameful thing because they're embarrassed and thus the kids pick up on that and learn that they should feel the same way. IMO that's far more damaging to the kids than just telling the truth and not acting like a child themselves about it.

 

[Abomination]

Any responsiable parent should answer with the truth to any question their child asks.

If you tell "white lies" to your child guess what they'll grow up thinking is an acceptable practice?

Tell it to them straight, no pussy-footing around. You won't destroy a child's childhood by educating them. Now is the perfect time to educate them, don't be worried about explaining stuff that's too complex - you will be surprised what they can pick up on and understand at an early age.

And if they can understand complex things when they're 7, imagine what kind of complex things they will be able to understand when they're 17.

 

[Canadamus Prime]

I think I was about 8 or 9 when my parents explained it to me and as I recall they bought a book about it. It was called "Where do I come from?" There was an accompanying one about puberty too called "What's happening to me?"

 

[Vegosiux]

Ehhh, I knew all about human reproduction at a very young age. Not "birds and bees" either, but "penises and vaginas". And not "when two people love each other a lot", but "it can happen anytime without protection". I suppose that's one of the reasons I didn't see sex as a big deal back in my teen years. Knowing too much about a thing sometimes makes it seem less interesting *grin*

Funnily enough; I always failed to get sex jokes when I was a brat specifically because they used so many euphemisms...

 

[Voulan]

The closest I've ever come to that decision was when one of the girls I was babysitting asked what a comdom was. I freaked out and just changed the subject, but she was young enough to not really notice.

Hey, she's not my kid. She can ask her mother. But I think that if they do ask, it's best to probably tell the truth, or do what my parents did and give them a book explaining. Or if she's really worried, tell them to ask at school.

 

[Aris Khandr]

I prefer the "tell the truth" method to raising children. No sense in lying to them. Sure, it might not make you too popular at school when your kid is the one saying "There is no Santa Claus/tooth fairy/god", but I feel it better to be honest with your children all the time. If they ask, tell them the truth. You don't have to get into the fine details, but the basics should cover it perfectly well.

 

[omega 616]

Never had it explained to me, I don't remember where I learned about it... I guess I just figured it out.

I mean it is pretty obvious, you figure out pretty early that the opposite sex is different to you, so I guess I figured you just some how "mesh together" then insta-baby! I remember not getting the whole pregnancy thing "person grows inside another person? Whut?".

I know I never had a talk with anybody, I guess in that sense it was a "you'll understand when you're older" thing.