Iowa parents defend bullying of autistic teen

[littlealicewhite]

Opened up Yahoo and was greeted with this:

"A 13-year-old autistic boy has been punched, teased and had his condition mocked in online videos by his peers. But the parents of the accused children say they were justified in bullying the Iowa teen.

On Monday, WhoTV.com ran a story about how the classmates of Levi Null had posted a video online showing Null suffering from symptoms of Asperger syndrome, a form of autism. In the video, classmates taunt Null, and teachers in the classroom appear to turn a blind eye to the behavior.

However, the station says that after airing the story, it actually received more than 100 emails from parents, shockingly with many of them defending the bullying at Melcher-Dallas High School, saying the child brings it on himself.

?I would say three-fourths of this stuff he brings on himself and probably a fourth of it is bullying that shouldn?t be going on,? said Levi Weatherly, father of the teen accused of posting the video online.

The school?s principal wrote Null?s mother an email saying the behavior documented in the video does not amount to bullying. Nonetheless, two of the students were disciplined and the video was reportedly deleted.

In a video interview with the station, Principal Josh Ehn actually said it is the students' responsibility to handle cases of bullying. ?We try our best to educate our staff, to educate our students to react to the cases, to investigate the cases we have,? Ehn said. ?But ultimately, it?s got to come down to the kids to take ownership for this and to stand up for the kids who can?t stand up for themselves.?

The principal?s decision was defended by School Board President Bob Lepley, who told the station, ?I stand by our principal. ? According to his investigation I?ll have to stand by him.?

So why would the principal, the school board president and a number of parents defend the alleged bullying?

?He called my nephew a nasty name, and my nephew Cole cocked (sic) him in the mouth,? resident Jamie Harrison wrote to the station. ?I?m proud of my nephew for doing that.?

?This kid has done things to get people mad that I think he could probably control,? added resident Nate Goof.

Levi's mother, Dawn Simmons, says that she herself has even been targeted by some of the parents since complaining to the school about the video.

?It?s been a very frustrating day for all of us,? she said.

However, Simmons told the station that two of the students have since apologized to Levi, saying they didn?t realize how their actions had affected him."
[copy-paste from Yahoo! News. Here's the link: http://news.yahoo.com/iowa-town-defends-bullying-of-autistic-teen-203249332.html]

I have Asperger's Syndrome. I'm older and have more experience in dealing with it that this kid, but it still hits very close to home.

Anyone who agrees or disagrees with the parents? What's your take?

 

[Thaluikhain]

Bullying is wrong.

Now, there's nothing that says people should like people with Aspergers, but that's very different in saying it's justified to bully them.

 

[lacktheknack]

"He called my nephew a nasty name, and my nephew Cole cocked (sic) him in the mouth," resident Jamie Harrison wrote to the station. "I'm proud of my nephew for doing that."

This kind of puts it in perspective, really.

If that many parents are coming forth and saying "I'm pretty sure its mostly because he's an asshole", then the kid in question is probably an asshole. Having Asperger's Syndrome does not give you free reign to be an evil little twat. And people may be stupid, but if a hundred of them come out and say the same thing, they probably know what's going on better than you or I.

But then, I question being "proud" of someone for hitting someone else in the mouth.

And the alleged bullies definitely should not be calling out and ridiculing his condition. That's not retaliating against a wrong, that's being an asshole as well.

I'm going to trust the school board disciplined the right kids adequately.

 

[Dirty Hipsters]

Without the video I don't think any of us can judge the "bullying" going on.

There aren't any real details given in that news story, and nothing about what the other kids were doing that constitutes bullying. For all we know, it's something completely normal that's been blown out of control (because the internet likes to blow things out of control), or it could be something horrible that shouldn't be tolerated. Either way, we don't know so we really can't judge anything said in the article.

 

[littlealicewhite]

"He called my nephew a nasty name, and my nephew Cole cocked (sic) him in the mouth," resident Jamie Harrison wrote to the station. "I'm proud of my nephew for doing that."

This kind of puts it in perspective, really.

If that many parents are coming forth and saying "I'm pretty sure its mostly because he's an asshole", then the kid in question is probably an asshole. Having Asperger's Syndrome does not give you free reign to be an evil little twat. And people may be stupid, but if a hundred of them come out and say the same thing, they probably know what's going on better than you or I.

I have, on multiple occasions in my life, accidentally insulted someone before. I was completely unaware that what I did or said could be construed as rude, it simply never crossed my mind as possible. It's a very common problem for people with Aspergers.

Yes, he could have been a dick on purpose. Having Aspergers does not absolve someone of being an asshole if it's intentional. But I question whether the referenced behavior that 'brought this on him' was meant to be insulting or if it was a misunderstanding.

 

[lacktheknack]

"He called my nephew a nasty name, and my nephew Cole cocked (sic) him in the mouth," resident Jamie Harrison wrote to the station. "I'm proud of my nephew for doing that."

This kind of puts it in perspective, really.

If that many parents are coming forth and saying "I'm pretty sure its mostly because he's an asshole", then the kid in question is probably an asshole. Having Asperger's Syndrome does not give you free reign to be an evil little twat. And people may be stupid, but if a hundred of them come out and say the same thing, they probably know what's going on better than you or I.

I have, on multiple occasions in my life, accidentally insulted someone before. I was completely unaware that what I did or said could be construed as rude, it simply never crossed my mind as possible. It's a very common problem for people with Aspergers.

Yes, he could have been a dick on purpose. Having Aspergers does not absolve someone of being an asshole if it's intentional. But I question whether the referenced behavior that 'brought this on him' was meant to be insulting or if it was a misunderstanding.

Well, the guy's own Dad, who knows him quite well, I presume, says that he brings 3/4 of the crap he gets on himself. I'm sure your accidental insult rate wouldn't constitute 3/4 of a bullying problem.

Besides, the article notes that he called someone "a nasty name". Maybe I just don't understand Asperger's, but I'm assuming that you're aware enough of bad language, difficult situations and the like to avoid calling someone something vile enough that they immediately punch you in the face.

I fully understand if he kept referencing topics, making jokes or confronting people about highly personal/trigger issues that he just wasn't grasping, but the pure amount of blowback of the incident implies something more malevolent. Again, I simply don't believe that a hundred people write in to tell the station that the guy is an asshole if he's merely oblivious. The average person tends to grasp if someone's oblivious to social convention fairly quickly.

 

[Thaluikhain]

Well, the guy's own Dad, who knows him quite well, I presume, says that he brings 3/4 of the crap he gets on himself. I'm sure your accidental insult rate wouldn't constitute 3/4 of a bullying problem.

Er, it was the father of one of the bully's who said that.

 

[lacktheknack]

Well, the guy's own Dad, who knows him quite well, I presume, says that he brings 3/4 of the crap he gets on himself. I'm sure your accidental insult rate wouldn't constitute 3/4 of a bullying problem.

Er, it was the father of one of the bully's who said that.

I can read so well! D:

The rest of the post stands, though.

 

[Specter Von Baren]

Well, the guy's own Dad, who knows him quite well, I presume, says that he brings 3/4 of the crap he gets on himself. I'm sure your accidental insult rate wouldn't constitute 3/4 of a bullying problem.

It would depend on how educated the father is in what Aspergers means and what it entails. Many, many people don't get diagnosed until late in their life and some in spite of being diagnosed, aren't taught and raised right to understand themselves and others. This is even more true when the person that said this wasn't even the father of the kid with autism.

Besides, the article notes that he called someone "a nasty name". Maybe I just don't understand Asperger's, but I'm assuming that you're aware enough of bad language, difficult situations and the like to avoid calling someone something vile enough that they immediately punch you in the face.

First. He's 13 years old and I, at around the same age, called my father a bastard after hearing it used in a movie (The movie was Star Trek: The Wrath of Khan by the way) without knowing what it meant and never called him that ever again after being told what it meant. Second, what if he called this person a nasty name because he was already being bullied by that person?

I fully understand if he kept referencing topics, making jokes or confronting people about highly personal/trigger issues that he just wasn't grasping, but the pure amount of blowback of the incident implies something more malevolent. Again, I simply don't believe that a hundred people write in to tell the station that the guy is an asshole if he's merely oblivious. The average person tends to grasp if someone's oblivious to social convention fairly quickly.

As was said by someone else, there's just not enough information to really tell one way or the other. There's too many possibilities and variables here. Keep in mind that people thinking you're an asshole is far from rare for someone with Aspergers.

 

[lacktheknack]

Well, the guy's own Dad, who knows him quite well, I presume, says that he brings 3/4 of the crap he gets on himself. I'm sure your accidental insult rate wouldn't constitute 3/4 of a bullying problem.

It would depend on how educated the father is in what Aspergers means and what it entails. Many, many people don't get diagnosed until late in their life and some in spite of being diagnosed, aren't taught and raised right to understand themselves and others. This is even more true when the person that said this wasn't even the father of the kid with autism.

Besides, the article notes that he called someone "a nasty name". Maybe I just don't understand Asperger's, but I'm assuming that you're aware enough of bad language, difficult situations and the like to avoid calling someone something vile enough that they immediately punch you in the face.

First. He's 13 years old and I, at around the same age, called my father a bastard after hearing it used in a movie (The movie was Star Trek: The Wrath of Khan by the way) without knowing what it meant and never called him that ever again after being told what it meant. Second, what if he called this person a nasty name because he was already being bullied by that person?

I fully understand if he kept referencing topics, making jokes or confronting people about highly personal/trigger issues that he just wasn't grasping, but the pure amount of blowback of the incident implies something more malevolent. Again, I simply don't believe that a hundred people write in to tell the station that the guy is an asshole if he's merely oblivious. The average person tends to grasp if someone's oblivious to social convention fairly quickly.

As was said by someone else, there's just not enough information to really tell one way or the other. There's too many possibilities and variables here. Keep in mind that people thinking you're an asshole is far from rare for someone with Aspergers.

Fair enough.

I'm not going to keep picking it apart, as I'm sure someone's going to go completely insane on what I've written already. I just maintain that where there's smoke, there's likely fire.

 

[TheIceQueen]

Snippity.

\

It wasn't the guy's own dad. It was the the dad of one of the kids who posted the video online i.e. one of the kids doing the bullying. Just thought I'd point that out a bit.

Asperger's, and other people who have ASD, actually do tend to be socially inept. A lot of them have trouble understanding even basic social interactions, having severely impaired social and language skills. In other words, the kid might be an asshole, but it's quite possible that he doesn't understand that. Now, factor in that this is in a very rural Midwestern setting and it wouldn't be surprising that the people writing in also don't understand the kid who's not understanding social situations. I come from a very rural Midwestern setting that's quite similar to where this incident took place (despite having moved around a lot, my parents always settled in a rural area, blaaagghhh), and can tell you that the cultural context in which we live in is so very traditional that anything different from the traditional, conservative role simply baffles these rural citizens, such as women wanting to have a career. And that's no joke, believe you me.

I find it just as likely that these people don't understand this different kid who doesn't understand them.

Still, if he's an asshole, that doesn't exonerate him at all, but nothing is ever an excuse for bullying and nothing is ever a good defense for bullying. Not even 'well, the kid was an asshole.'

 

[lacktheknack]

Snippity.

\

It wasn't the guy's own dad. It was the the dad of one of the kids who posted the video online i.e. one of the kids doing the bullying. Just thought I'd point that out a bit.

Asperger's, and other people who have ASD, actually do tend to be socially inept. A lot of them have trouble understanding even basic social interactions, having severely impaired social and language skills. In other words, the kid might be an asshole, but it's quite possible that he doesn't understand that. Now, factor in that this is in a very rural Midwestern setting and it wouldn't be surprising that the people writing in also don't understand the kid who's not understanding social situations. I come from a very rural Midwestern setting that's quite similar to where this incident took place (despite having moved around a lot, my parents always settled in a rural area, blaaagghhh), and can tell you that the cultural context in which we live in is so very traditional that anything different from the traditional, conservative role simply baffles these rural citizens, such as women wanting to have a career. And that's no joke, believe you me.

I find it just as likely that these people don't understand this different kid who doesn't understand them.

Still, if he's an asshole, that doesn't exonerate him at all, but nothing is ever an excuse for bullying and nothing is ever a good defense for bullying. Not even 'well, the kid was an asshole.'

Oh, if they're outright bullying him, I don't want to defend that. I just question of much of it is retaliation to actual asshole-ish tendencies.

Of course, you raise a good point with the reputation of the mid-West rural areas. ;___;

 

[TheIceQueen]

Snippity.

\

It wasn't the guy's own dad. It was the the dad of one of the kids who posted the video online i.e. one of the kids doing the bullying. Just thought I'd point that out a bit.

Asperger's, and other people who have ASD, actually do tend to be socially inept. A lot of them have trouble understanding even basic social interactions, having severely impaired social and language skills. In other words, the kid might be an asshole, but it's quite possible that he doesn't understand that. Now, factor in that this is in a very rural Midwestern setting and it wouldn't be surprising that the people writing in also don't understand the kid who's not understanding social situations. I come from a very rural Midwestern setting that's quite similar to where this incident took place (despite having moved around a lot, my parents always settled in a rural area, blaaagghhh), and can tell you that the cultural context in which we live in is so very traditional that anything different from the traditional, conservative role simply baffles these rural citizens, such as women wanting to have a career. And that's no joke, believe you me.

I find it just as likely that these people don't understand this different kid who doesn't understand them.

Still, if he's an asshole, that doesn't exonerate him at all, but nothing is ever an excuse for bullying and nothing is ever a good defense for bullying. Not even 'well, the kid was an asshole.'

Oh, if they're outright bullying him, I don't want to defend that. I just question of much of it is retaliation to actual asshole-ish tendencies.

Of course, you raise a good point with the reputation of the mid-West rural areas. ;___;

I can understand that. He probably does have asshole-ish tendencies if you were to view it from the perspective of a normal social interaction. After all, he is a 13 year old boy and those guys are assholes enough without having the deterrent of not being able to fully grasp even basic do's and do not's of social skills.

But yeah, we here in the rural Midwest... we don't tend to understand much well either.

 

[BOOM headshot65]

I come from a very rural Midwestern setting that's quite similar to where this incident took place (despite having moved around a lot, my parents always settled in a rural area, blaaagghhh), and can tell you that the cultural context in which we live in is so very traditional that anything different from the traditional, conservative role simply baffles these rural citizens, such as women wanting to have a career. And that's no joke, believe you me.

As someone with Aspergers growing up in rural Kansas, your description is in no way, shape, or form how it happens here. Everyone knows that I am not the same, but they help me and if I do something wrong they tell me. In fact, the only grief I have ever gotten was at the school I went to, which was in a town of 50,000 (by no means "rural"). That "Traditional, Conservative" small town that was my home away from home? Treated 1,000,000X better there than I was in the city of 50,000 that I actually lived in. To this day, I hate the city and will ONLY live in the Rural Midwest, and you couldn't PAY me live in cities.

OT: Absolutely disgusting. I remember my own instance, though it ended better. Just like this one, the principal said that I was just faking my bullying to get attention. But when my mom found out about that, SHE FLIPPED SHIT! Went and ranted straight to the principal, who tried to feed some bullshit line about how the bullies were excused because they came from bad homes, whereas I obviously didn't if my mom was there trying to sort things out. To which my mom responded that she was going to take me home and beat me so that this principal would get off her ass and do something. While she obviously didn't do that, she did go to the school board and, using her authority as a teacher in the same school district and with help from the Special Ed department, she got said principal fired, and mandatory anti-bullying programs in all schools. Now that she is a principal herself, whoo to anyone who commits bullying in her school.

 

[Lieju]

Well, I have been diagnosed with Aspergers, and I was bullied in school.
The teacher's response was to make me see the school psychologist (although I'm not sure if she was an actual psychologist) who asked me

"Have you though of being more normal?" and "What do you think you can do to not be bullied?"

Who knows about this kid, maybe he was being an asshole, maybe it wasn't on purpose, I don't know.

But stuff like hitting someone over something they say is not okay.

Besides, the article notes that he called someone "a nasty name". Maybe I just don't understand Asperger's, but I'm assuming that you're aware enough of bad language, difficult situations and the like to avoid calling someone something vile enough that they immediately punch you in the face.

Reading social situations can be difficult, though. Calling someone nasty names can be totally acceptable in some social context, and in some not. Also lot depends on who is using what words. Using a slur is generally for example more acceptable if you belong to the group you're insulting.
I know I did mistakes like that a lot in that age (as would any kid, Aspergers or no) and used language I would use with family when I really shouldn't have.

 

[Doclector]

So was the kid actually being an asshole, or just being wierd?

Because if it's the latter, I feel justified in saying that the principle, the teachers who ignored the incidents, and the parents should all be subjected to specific brain trauma. Then we'll see how they like not being normal, and not being able to help it.

But what's that you say? That's too harsh? But you did things to deserve this, you ignorant little shits.

 

[Stu35]

Bullying is wrong.

I don't know enough about this specific incident to be able to comment on it.

What I want to comment on is the number of people on this forum who have Aspergers, or some form of Autism. It's something I've noticed in other threads, and it's occured to me again in this thread.

It's a very, very high number of people.

I find that interesting.

I appreciate this post doesn't add a whole lot of value, but it's something I'm considering for discussion, just thinking how to frame the beginnings of said discussion.

 

[Thaluikhain]

What I want to comment on is the number of people on this forum who have Aspergers, or some form of Autism. It's something I've noticed in other threads, and it's occured to me again in this thread.

It's a very, very high number of people.

I find that interesting.

Well, it could be that such people are more likely to click on a thread that has "autistic" (and "bullying, I guess) in the title. But yeah, the escapist demographics often seem a little unusual.

 

[PsychicTaco115]

"But ultimately, it's got to come down to the kids to take ownership for this and to stand up for the kids who can't stand up for themselves."

Um... You sure about that?

OT: Evidence unclear, need moar! And who the hell is proud that someone punched another person?

 

[The Enquirer]

I feel like that even if this kid is being an annoying jerk and can control how he acts, it doesn't make it right. Why are you going to stoop to someone else's level? Prove you are the better, bigger person and just ignore the kid. Like I said I really don't know all the stuff this autistic teen did and to what degree he has autism. I think it is wrong either way though and if the kid really can control his actions 3/4 of the time he most likely did bring it on himself.