Is it really better to have loved and lost?

[alarcoz]

Hello Escapist! I have been thinking about this for a while and wanted to know what you guys thought. Is it really better to have loved and lost then to have never loved at all? I personally believe if you`ve never experienced love then you dont know what your missing as apposed to having had love and then knowing what you`ve lost. What are your thoughts on the matter?

 

[CODE-D]

Nope, dont listen to christmas ghosts, there full of shit.

 

[Soviet Steve]

From my personal experience, never having loved comes with (for males at least) a significant amount of anxiety and shame as well as the depression.

 

[jbchillin]

I agree. If you never have it in the first place you can never miss that feeling.

 

[The Lugz]

From my personal experience, never having loved comes with (for males at least) a significant amount of anxiety and shame as well as the depression.

^ this.. i guess

i have loved and lost, it was shitty. it hurt.

but i cant imagine not knowing to be any better

love basically sucks.
true story.

you're not missing much unless your missing an actual relationship.

 

[ChildofGallifrey]

Tough call...Having truly loved and lost, all that will lead to are years (at least) of wondering "What if?" and painful twinges everytime something reminds you in the slightest way of the other person.

On the other hand, however...well, Thal already covered that end pretty well:

It's better to have experienced the great joy that is love. Living life never knowing such a thing boggles my mind.

It sounds like it would be a shallow existence.

 

[TakerFoxx]

Eh, I would offer up an opposing opinion.

My family has a poor track record with relationships. Out of all my many grandparents, aunts, and uncles, there are only two couples still together to this day. My parents couldn't stand each other, and my brother and sister grew up to be tremendous players, cycling through different boyfriends and girlfriends on an almost monthly basis, most of which ended messily and brought untold amounts of drama into their lives. Then I saw my two best friends turn out the same way and they both ended up pretty miserable. It kinda turned me off to the whole thing.

So while I know there are perfectly happy couples out there who are genuinely in love with each other, I'd rather not pursue that. If it actually happens to me and a relationship develops with someone I know, then fine. But I'm not going to go looking for it. I know myself well enough to know that I would probably not make a great boyfriend. And I value my privacy too much, not to mention my pocketbook. So yeah, not for me.

 

[emeraldrafael]

if the love outweighs the loss.

 

[WaReloaded]

Personally, I think that it's better to know what love feels like, to have experienced love, than to never have felt love at all. Heartbreak isn't pleasant (I'm sure a number of musical artists can reiterate this point), nor is losing someone you love, but all the pain and misery that can result from losing love is worth it, just to experience the sheer joy and wonderment that is being in love.

 

[BlindedHunter]

Your mileage may vary. I would prefer to have never loved.
Though it is a complex topic to consider when the reasoning that brings me to that statement is largely based on how I feel about having done just that, but whatever.

 

[Phlakes]

Depends on the love. My first (and so far only, although it happened twice) relationship was great while it lasted and left me with a lot of valuable experience, and it ended a bit roughly, but after everything settled I came out much better.

 

[l33tabix]

If you've never truly loved you don't know what it is, I thought I knew love until I met my last girlfriend about 4-5 years ago. I fell in love too damn fast and then dealt with that psychotic mess for 2 years. It's better to have loved and lost because sometimes you may be in love with someone, when you deserve someone better.

 

[RaNDM G]

Yes. Relationships are a trial-and-error process after all.

 

[delvin313]

Basically, i look at it like this: with love, you experience higher "highs" and lower "lows", depending on the relationship of course. Having experienced both myself, I know I would go through the lows in order to experience the highs. Incidently, this was also my attitude before I met my wife.

IMHO, its way better to try for what you want and risk failure, than not to try at all. Really, love is awesome.

 

[Shadow flame master]

I've never loved before at all. I've been in love with someone but not in a relationship. Besides, I'm probally one of the worst canidates as some girl's boyfriend, and I live in a family of six, 4 women and 2 men, so I have enough love already.

I think.