Is it that hard to find a virgin?

That One Fellow

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Forgive if this sounds harsh, but, are you bringing up something to discuss. Or confiding in total strangers on the internet? One would hope the former...but it's ghastly close to the latter. Good day to you.
 

Mad World

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khantron said:
Yeah then I guess that isn't me. I think sex is a fun activity among consenting adults and money is good so long as it is a means to survival and a bit comfort rather than an end in and of itself. I just thought I detected a religious understanding of morals, which my abortion comment would likely trigger.
I agree about the money. Money doesn't have to be evil. I think that sex should be something that occurs after marriage, though.

I am a Christian, so a lot of what I believe it based off of Jesus' teachings. What's your abortion comment?

Edit: never mind; I see what you mean. I read the comment.

I don't hate you for your opinion on abortion. My stance is that it's simply wrong. I'm very against it.
 

Majorlagger

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seriously i find it a little funny and ironic... so many people saying he is so judgmental... he is not saying other people are wrong for doing those things... just that they are probably wrong FOR HIM. he is looking for someone who has the same values as him if he has held himself to that standard it is not unreasonable or judgmental to want his future wife (girlfriend or what have you) to have held the same standard.

the ironic part... all of you Judging him because of the standard he has chose to hold himself and his future significant other to.
 

khantron

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Mad World said:
khantron said:
Yeah then I guess that isn't me. I think sex is a fun activity among consenting adults and money is good so long as it is a means to survival and a bit comfort rather than an end in and of itself. I just thought I detected a religious understanding of morals, which my abortion comment would likely trigger.
I agree about the money. Money doesn't have to be evil. I think that sex should be something that occurs after marriage.

I am a Christian, so a lot of what I believe it based off of Jesus' teachings. What's your abortion comment?
My comment was that it is a legitimate medical procedure that is important to a woman's bodily autonomy.
 

Calatar

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I understand where you're coming from. I'm fairly conservative with regards to those kind of ideals as well. I was lucky enough to find a girl who fit nearly all of them. In retrospect though, it was a bit immature. If you're planning on making a commitment to really caring about somebody, then you have to look at a person in their entirety. Singular actions don't define them, unless they make it define them. If a person has taken drugs, it doesn't make them an addict. If a person has tried smoking, it doesn't make them a smoker. If a person has had sex in the past, it does not make them a slut.

Many people experiment, but it's the continuity of action that really counts. If a person continues to smoke, they show that either they are extremely ignorant of health risks, dismissive of the harm they're causing, or just plain addicted.
But just trying it once out of curiosity? Stupid, IMO, but curiosity gets the best of many people.

For alcohol, it's more subjective. It doesn't necessarily indicate a lack of judgement, but it could. Drinking makes you more prone to other risky behaviors. But certain people can drink in moderation safely. Trying alcohol, however? Considering reaching legal drinking age is considered a milestone in our society, curiosity is pretty damn understandable. This would be a foolish criteria of selectivity.

Sex is often a part of self-discovery, and given how pleasurable it is, and the cultural/individual pressure associated with it, it's pretty understandable why any person would already have had it. I think the general problem most people have with this is a sense of possession and jealousy. A vague sense as though the girl has already retroactively cheated on you, before you could even enter a relationship.

But that is immature, and kind of stupid. Easy to feel, but pretty dumb. It's who she is NOW that counts, and what she chooses to do NOW. If she wants to date you, it means that she doesn't want other guys, she wants you. Put aside feelings of personal possession and accept that she is a separate person, with a past separated from you, and separated from the present. It's the continuity of her personality which matters. If you feel as though her morals are diametrically opposed to yours, that's one thing. But think about your own motives with regards to this, and whether they're selfish or not.

It's more difficult when you're younger, but learning to temper your strong opinions with a bit of acceptance can only help. Learning that you should not judge a person by various actions taken out of context helps. Particularly when you don't have any of their context to judge them by, since you haven't done any of that experimentation you so loathe yourself.

Starting a lasting relationship requires a lot of acceptance. People don't always do things you like, but the questions are: Does the good significantly outweigh the bad? Is the bad something that you can handle? Do you think the good will stay good? Will you always be able to deal with the bad?

Learning some tolerance now would be a good idea. Think about how well-justified your ideas are, what they're based on. Eventually you'll end up infatuated, and then run smack into one of those criteria you detest. If you've thought enough to know with certainty where your acceptable boundaries lie, then it won't be as much of a dilemma then.

Actually in regards to your question though, there are many people out there still who are virgins. It's a bit of a myth that there aren't any. Chances are that they're a bit quieter about it than the people who aren't. That number will naturally dwindle in your age group as you get older though. If it really is an uncompromising criteria, then you'd better start searching now.
 

Pyromaster Muaddib

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I think the thing you're going to find hard is finding someone who has never done any of that who also meets your other requirements. Just remember everything you list as a requirement cuts out people who may have other awesome features that you are completely overlooking. There comes a time when you have to prioritize these things. For example, Things I look for in a woman are as follows: Honest, interesting, intelligent, accepting, cute. That may seem a little shallow to you but those are the things that make a girl dating material to me. Once you start adding virgin, never smoked, never done drugs, never drank in there your going to start having to sacrifice something else (no one is "perfect" after all). So the real question is are you willing to date a complete dunce over a intelligent girl because the dunce has never drank, or a girl who is completely and psychopathically opposed to your nerdiness as opposed to one who whole heartedly embraces it simply because she has never smoked pot, or a girl who is a pathological liar simply because she is a virgin (which won't matter first time you have sex anyways)?
 

khantron

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Majorlagger said:
seriously i find it a little funny and ironic... so many people saying he is so judgmental... he is not saying other people are wrong for doing those things... just that they are probably wrong FOR HIM. he is looking for someone who has the same values as him if he has held himself to that standard it is not unreasonable or judgmental to want his future wife (girlfriend or what have you) to have held the same standard.

the ironic part... all of you Judging him because of the standard he has chose to hold himself and his future significant other to.
That's the pitfall of considering judging a bad thing. You can't say judging is a bad thing because you're judging people for judging.
 

Screamarie

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24 and still a virgin. To this day I don't drink (I've had some sips of a couple of alcoholic drinks just to see what they taste like but nothing more than a single sip each), don't do drugs, and don't smoke.....honestly I'm getting to the age where I'm wondering if I should be proud of it....or sad. Very, very sad.
 

SovietX

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I'm just like you. Same views. I'm 18 and have only ever drunk 1 beer once and didn't like it. I am still a virgin, mainly by choice. I take it a little more seriously than most. Everyone in my year level has had sex at least once, often bragging about it. I would prefer to share my first time with a female who is also a virgin but I am not going to limit myself to that criteria.
 

axlryder

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Jul 29, 2011
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khantron said:
Majorlagger said:
seriously i find it a little funny and ironic... so many people saying he is so judgmental... he is not saying other people are wrong for doing those things... just that they are probably wrong FOR HIM. he is looking for someone who has the same values as him if he has held himself to that standard it is not unreasonable or judgmental to want his future wife (girlfriend or what have you) to have held the same standard.

the ironic part... all of you Judging him because of the standard he has chose to hold himself and his future significant other to.
That's the pitfall of considering judging a bad thing. You can't say judging is a bad thing because your judging people for judging.
I was about to say the identical thing. Pretty hypocritical. Seriously people, the guy made no statements about non-virgins or people who drink/do drugs. Just because he doesn't share YOUR views doesn't mean he doesn't have the right to his own or that he's being a terrible person in creating some parameters he would like a potential partner to fall within. It's not even like he's being irrational about it, he's asking on a forum if that's even realistic.

On the flip side, it's always nice to hear someone's justification for things like this. No one should really be blindly following some moral code just because. (imo) Plus, there's justifiable exceptions to pretty much everything.
 

khantron

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Mad World said:
Edit: never mind; I see what you mean. I read the comment.

I don't hate you for your opinion on abortion. My stance is that it's simply wrong. I'm very against it.
Yeah, I figured we'd be on different sides of the fetus vs woman debate.
 

Vault101

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Sep 26, 2010
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Death God said:
whats so great about virginity? your not "corrupted" in anyway if you choose to have safe consenting sex

sex is not imoral
 

Xeraxis

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delvin313 said:
Xeraxis said:
delvin313 said:
Don't give up hope, your ideal girl is out there somewhere. I had given up hope finding the girl of my dreams, and sure enough she appeared in my life after all. Whatever your standards may be, you will find her, given time and patience.
Not to be demeaning towards you, but do you know how many times I've heard that, or something similar, from people? It annoys me how often people pull out that cliche phrasing.
So..let me get this straight. I speak from experience that there is indeed hope since it happened to me, and your first instinct is that I am being cliche? That's pretty sad, dude.
I was speaking mostly in terms of your first sentence. I never doubted your experience and am not calling YOU cliche. I'm just saying that a lot of phrases similar to the first sentence you wrote, like the whole "fish in the sea" thing, are all too familiar to me, and the more I hear them from people, the less I begin to really believe it happening for myself. Unhealthy self-doubt I must blame.

Does that make any sense? I am not placing any offense towards you.
 

axlryder

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Vault101 said:
Death God said:
whats so great about virginity? your not "corrupted" in anyway if you choose to have safe consenting sex

sex is not imoral
actually you really are changed psychologically when you have sex (especially the first time), though everyone is affected differently. Also, the actual act of sex is not immoral, but it really depends on the circumstances. I'm not going to get into a big long debate here, but I'd say casual sex is very immoral. For the sake of clarity, well say immoral means "socially and emotionally destructive"
 

Vault101

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Mad World said:
World's a sick place. So many people don't seem to value morals. Too many people only care about sex. They don't know what true love is.

I'm not saying that a person shouldn't want to be with someone who has had sex, but this thread in general makes me think about how morally corrupt some people are.

Personally, I want a girl who is a virgin; I believe that sex should wait until after marriage. But if you truly love someone, I think that it's all right if they're not a virgin. Concentrate on the future; not the past. :)
again I want to ask the same question I did before

why is the act of sex imoral? am I somehow more "moral" because ive never had sex? if I do have sex will I lose some kind of "purity" that Ill never get back?

anyway Im surprised at the mount of "moral" people here

I dont drink much or do drugs...mainly because I dotn care for that kind of crap and never had the chance anyway

BUT Im not about to pretend Im any more morally rightious than others, I self indulge just as bad if nto worse (on videogames and caffine)
 

khantron

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axlryder said:
Vault101 said:
Death God said:
whats so great about virginity? your not "corrupted" in anyway if you choose to have safe consenting sex

sex is not imoral
actually you really are changed psychologically when you have sex, though everyone is affected differently. Also, the actual act of sex is not immoral, but it really depends on the circumstances. I'm not going to get into a big long debate here, but I'd say casual sex is very immoral.
Such a tease, making such an interesting moral proclamation. Unless your justification is religion, in which case it's boring again.
 

Pegghead

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Well, I'm 16 right now and I can tell ya that I've never really done any of that stuff. I don't mind them wholistically as alot of my friends have either done or do semi-regularly one or more of those things (but I've always had a hard time believing most guys around me talking about their sexual conquests, hard to know where the swag ends and the truth begins).

As for how such things colour my perception of others ('specially the fairer sex), I'd like to think they don't. The only thing I hate is those guys who try and hype the fuck out of it, acting like they're hot shit because they smoked half a joint they bummed off some dude twice their age over the weekend.
 

axlryder

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Jul 29, 2011
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khantron said:
axlryder said:
Vault101 said:
Death God said:
whats so great about virginity? your not "corrupted" in anyway if you choose to have safe consenting sex

sex is not imoral
actually you really are changed psychologically when you have sex, though everyone is affected differently. Also, the actual act of sex is not immoral, but it really depends on the circumstances. I'm not going to get into a big long debate here, but I'd say casual sex is very immoral.
Such a tease, making such an interesting moral proclamation. Unless your justification is religion in which case it's boring again.
haha, the motivation for that statement is not religious at all.