Paradoxrifts said:
Hath not a
straight, white cis-gendered male gamer eyes? Hath not a
straight, white cis-gendered male gamer hands, organs, dimensions, senses, affections, passions; fed with the same cheese Doritos & Mountain Dew , hurt with the same Noob Tubes, subject to the same swamp ass, heal'd by the same health drops, warm'd and cool'd by the same air conditioning units as a
tumblr feminist is? If they prick us, do we not bleed? If they tickle us, do we not laugh? If they poison us, do we not die? And if they wrong us, shall we not revenge?
If they are like us in the rest, we will resemble them in that. If a
straight, white cis-gendered male gamer wrong a
tumblr feminist, what is his humility? Revenge. If a
tumblr feminist wrong a
straight, white cis-gendered male gamer, what should his sufferance be by
tumblr feminist example? Why, revenge.
The villainy they teach me, I will execute, and it shall go hard but I will better the instruction.
I am happy to join with you today in what will go down in history as the greatest demonstration for freedom in the history of our nation.
Five score years ago, a great
Internet Denizen, in whose symbolic shadow we stand today, signed the Emancipation Proclamation. This momentous decree came as a great beacon light of hope to millions of
straight, white, cis-gendered male gamer slaves who had been seared in the flames of withering injustice. It came as a joyous daybreak to end the long night of their captivity.
But one hundred years later, the
straight, white, cis-gendered male gamer still is not free. One hundred years later, the life of the
straight, white, cis-gendered male gamer is still sadly crippled by the manacles of segregation and the chains of discrimination. One hundred years later, the
straight, white, cis-gendered male gamer lives on a lonely island of poverty in the midst of a vast ocean of material prosperity. One hundred years later, the
straight, white, cis-gendered male gamer is still languished in the corners of
Internet society and finds himself an exile in his own land. And so we've come here today to dramatize a shameful condition.
In a sense we've come to our
network's capital to cash a check. When the architects of our
web-ublic wrote the magnificent words of the
HTML Constitution and the Declaration of
IPv4-dependence, they were signing a promissory note to which every
Internet Denizen was to fall heir. This note was a promise that all
denizens, yes,
straight, white, cis-gendered male gamers as well as
tumblr feminists would be guaranteed the "unalienable Rights" of "Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness." It is obvious today that
the Internet has defaulted on this promissory note, insofar as her citizens of
cis-gendered, heterosexual maleness are concerned. Instead of honouring this sacred obligation, America has given the
straight, white, cis-gendered male gamer people a bad check, a check which has come back marked "insufficient funds."
But we refuse to believe that the bank of justice is bankrupt. We refuse to believe that there are insufficient funds in the great vaults of opportunity of this nation. And so, we've come to cash this check, a check that will give us upon demand the riches of freedom and the security of justice.
We have also come to this hallowed spot to remind
the Internet of the fierce urgency of Now. This is no time to engage in the luxury of cooling off or to take the tranquilizing drug of gradualism. Now is the time to make real the promises of democracy. Now is the time to rise from the dark and desolate valley of
misandry to the sunlit path of
gender justice. Now is the time to lift our nation from the quicksands of
gender injustice to the solid rock of
brotherhood. Now is the time to make justice a reality for all of
Cthulu's children.
It would be fatal for the nation to overlook the urgency of the moment. This sweltering summer of the
straight, white, cis-gendered male gamer's legitimate discontent will not pass until there is an invigorating autumn of freedom and equality.
Two thousand and thirteen is not an end, but a beginning. And those who hope that the
straight, white, cis-gendered male gamer needed to blow off steam and will now be content will have a rude awakening if the
network returns to business as usual. And there will be neither rest nor tranquillity in
the Internet until the
straight, white, cis-gendered male gamer is granted his citizenship rights. The whirlwinds of revolt will continue to shake the foundations of our nation until the bright day of justice emerges.
But there is something that I must say to my people, who stand on the warm threshold which leads into the palace of justice: In the process of gaining our rightful place, we must not be guilty of wrongful deeds. Let us not seek to satisfy our thirst for freedom by drinking from the cup of bitterness and hatred. We must forever conduct our struggle on the high plane of dignity and discipline. We must not allow our creative protest to degenerate into physical violence. Again and again, we must rise to the majestic heights of meeting physical force with soul force.
The marvellous new militancy which has engulfed the
straight, white, cis-gendered male gamer community must not lead us to a distrust of all
tumblr feminists, for many of our
tumblr feminist sisters, as evidenced by their presence here today, have come to realize that their destiny is tied up with our destiny. And they have come to realize that their freedom is inextricably bound to our freedom.
We cannot walk alone.
And as we walk, we must make the pledge that we shall always march ahead.
We cannot turn back.
There are those who are asking the devotees of civil rights, "When will you be satisfied?" We can never be satisfied as long as the
straight, white, cis-gendered male gamer is the victim of the unspeakable horrors of
White Knight brutality. We can never be satisfied as long as our bodies, heavy with the fatigue of travel, cannot gain lodging in the motels of the highways and the hotels of the cities. We cannot be satisfied as long as the
straight, white, cis-gendered male gamer's basic mobility is from a smaller ghetto to a larger one. We can never be satisfied as long as our children are stripped of their self-hood and robbed of their dignity by signs stating: "For
Tumblr Feminists Only." We cannot be satisfied as long as a
straight, white, cis-gendered male gamer in
Twitter cannot vote and a
straight, white, cis-gendered male gamer in
Reddit believes he has nothing for which to vote. No, no, we are not satisfied, and we will not be satisfied until "justice rolls down like waters, and righteousness like a mighty stream."
I am not unmindful that some of you have come here out of great trials and tribulations. Some of you have come fresh from narrow jail cells. And some of you have come from areas where your quest -- quest for freedom left you battered by the storms of persecution and staggered by the winds of
White Knight brutality. You have been the veterans of creative suffering. Continue to work with the faith that unearned suffering is redemptive. Go back to
Twitter, go back to
imgur, go back to South
Facebook, go back to
Geocities, go back to
Buzzfeed, go back to the slums and ghettos of our northern
sites, knowing that somehow this situation can and will be changed.
Let us not wallow in the valley of despair, I say to you today, my friends.
And so even though we face the difficulties of today and tomorrow, I still have a dream. It is a dream deeply rooted in the
Internet dream.
I have a dream that one day this
network will rise up and live out the true meaning of its creed: "We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal."
I have a dream that one day on the red hills of
Geocities, the sons of former
straight, white, cis-gendered male gamers and the sons of former
tumblr feminists will be able to sit down together at the table of brotherhood.
I have a dream that one day even the
site of
Twitter, a
site sweltering with the heat of injustice, sweltering with the heat of oppression, will be transformed into an oasis of freedom and justice.
I have a dream that my four little children will one day live in a
network where they will not be judged by the
cis of their
gender but by the content of their character.
I have a dream today!
I have a dream that one day, down in
tumblr, with its vicious
feminists, with its governor having
her lips dripping with the words of "interposition" and "nullification" -- one day right there in
tumblr little
straight, white, cis-gendered male gamer boys and
straight, white, cis-gendered male gamer girls will be able to join hands with little
tumblr feminist boys and
tumblr feminist girls as sisters and brothers.
I have a dream today!
I have a dream that one day every valley shall be exalted, and every hill and mountain shall be made low, the rough places will be made plain, and the crooked places will be made straight; "and the glory of
Cthulu shall be revealed and all flesh shall see it together."
This is our hope, and this is the faith that I go back to
The Escapist with.
With this faith, we will be able to hew out of the mountain of despair a stone of hope. With this faith, we will be able to transform the jangling discords of our
network into a beautiful symphony of brotherhood. With this faith, we will be able to work together, to pray together, to struggle together, to go to jail together, to stand up for freedom together, knowing that we will be free one day.
And this will be the day -- this will be the day when all of God's children will be able to sing with new meaning:
My
computer 'tis of thee, sweet
LAN of liberty, of thee I sing.
LAN where my fathers died,
LAN of the
Protocol's pride,
From every mountainside, let freedom ring!
And if
the Internet is to be a great
network, this must become true.
And so let freedom ring from the prodigious
likes of
Facebook
Let freedom ring from the mighty
musicians of
Myspace
Let freedom ring from the heightening
Hashtags of
Twitter
Let freedom ring from the snow-capped
Soirees of
Second Life
Let freedom ring from the curvaceous
curves of
ChatRoulette
But not only that:
Let freedom ring from
the /b/ board of
4chan
Let freedom ring from
r/EnoughInternet on
Reddit
Let freedom ring from every
list article and
video on
Cracked
From every
FTP, let freedom ring.
And when this happens, and when we allow freedom ring, when we let it ring from every
topic and every
post, from every
site and every
board, we will be able to speed up that day when all of
Cthulu's children,
straight, white, cis-gendered male gamer men and
tumblr feminist men, Jews and Gentiles, Protestants and Catholics, will be able to join hands and sing in the words of the old
straight, white, cis-gendered male gamer spiritual:
Free at last! Free at last!
Thank God Almighty, we are free at last!