The Godson review
Well it's currently 9:00 pm, despite the fact that it's somewhat early (Or very early for meth addicts) through spending the day walking a long circuit around the bay of Sydney Harbour dressed as Doctor Who (Don't ask) I'm tired and bored, getting me into the perfectly cranky mood to begin to tear to shreds a film that's so bad it's bad, The Godson. No, not the 1967 retitle of French film "Le Samourai" or indeed the obscure '70s exploitation film, but this
Never heard of it? Be thankful, I found this in a bargain bin in a bargain store and purchased it because Rodney motherfucking Dangerfield was on the cover, you know, one of the funniest men to ever grace the silver screen? Whose dry wit and outrageous personality has made for some extremely funny films? Any who onto the movie, God help us all.
Now...the plot, being a spoof of the classic Godfather trilogy and other films such as Scarface it's fairly formulaic, the strong, clever son of the Godfather to an organized crime family is killed, with the Godfather's retirement around the corner his only successor is his weaker, cowardly son (In this case "Guppy" no, really. And you wouldn't believe the number of fish-related puns the script writer must have concocted under the influence of some...potent, substance). Right there with good enough acting, dramatic overtones, a sense of maturity and maybe a plot twist or two you'd have a winning mobster movie down pat, but oh no, from that point on your descent into madness begins, but unlike The Shining it does not add to the quality. Here are some of the many fine things this...train-wreck of a film contains (with a straight face):
*Robbing a sperm bank
*A muscular Lou Ferrigno acting as an open, stereotypical and extremely derogatory transsexual
*A Lesbian couple passionately French-kissing in the background throughout the films climax, having been inserted after a scene showing the producer talking to the scripwriter and opting for such a completely necessary act.
*A spoof of Jason Vorhees for...no apparent reason
*A home mansion that?s apparently taking cues from the Doctor as it?s larger than it is on the outside...Que?
And the list goes on, at some point or another you realize that this film is less a parody of gangster movies and more flinging excrement at a chalkboard full of ideas dreamt up whilst on LSD and then just seeing what they can get away with. Normally that could at least hold itself up as some kind of ridiculously stupid comedy but oh no, none of the jokes have any humour whatsoever to them. Every line and action is a played out gag, from referring to the character who parodies Dick Tracy as Tracy's Dick (How could you Rodney, how could you?) to a don offering a dusty condom when asked for protection by a fellow crime family, if Airplane can pull this kind of thing off well it can't be that hard.
Apart from that there's really not a whole lot that I can comment on, the story is barely cohesive and a real shame considering its links to organized crime films, the characters make me want to drop-kick children, the jokes are blander than a bread sandwich and watching Rodney Dangerfield be in it is like watching your mother in an obscure East German fetish porno, a horrible sight to behold yet you simply can't take your eyes off it (and there seems to be a bit of rape going on). Coupled with the fact that the budget is laughably low and it really can't decide what age audience it's shooting for (at one point when the titular "Hero" Guppy, who's more of a zero, is attending "Mobster school", no really, you see a violent display of how to dispose of a body using a chainsaw. Yet when the spoof of Scarface comes on screen who couldn't act his way out of a sick bag, something you might need if you want to endure this crap-fest, he uses the word "Fudge" instead of "Fuck" and subsequently begins to PG-13 butcher Mr Montana?s most marvellous quotes) I rate this zero "I just came in my pants for the thumbnail" Kevin McDonald faces out of five:
Now I challenge you to find a film worse than this and review under the guise of IT'S CRAP so we can all sort through the tongue bathes and sorry at humour (And ironic hypocrisy) that plague this place (Hehehe)
Well it's currently 9:00 pm, despite the fact that it's somewhat early (Or very early for meth addicts) through spending the day walking a long circuit around the bay of Sydney Harbour dressed as Doctor Who (Don't ask) I'm tired and bored, getting me into the perfectly cranky mood to begin to tear to shreds a film that's so bad it's bad, The Godson. No, not the 1967 retitle of French film "Le Samourai" or indeed the obscure '70s exploitation film, but this
Never heard of it? Be thankful, I found this in a bargain bin in a bargain store and purchased it because Rodney motherfucking Dangerfield was on the cover, you know, one of the funniest men to ever grace the silver screen? Whose dry wit and outrageous personality has made for some extremely funny films? Any who onto the movie, God help us all.
Now...the plot, being a spoof of the classic Godfather trilogy and other films such as Scarface it's fairly formulaic, the strong, clever son of the Godfather to an organized crime family is killed, with the Godfather's retirement around the corner his only successor is his weaker, cowardly son (In this case "Guppy" no, really. And you wouldn't believe the number of fish-related puns the script writer must have concocted under the influence of some...potent, substance). Right there with good enough acting, dramatic overtones, a sense of maturity and maybe a plot twist or two you'd have a winning mobster movie down pat, but oh no, from that point on your descent into madness begins, but unlike The Shining it does not add to the quality. Here are some of the many fine things this...train-wreck of a film contains (with a straight face):
*Robbing a sperm bank
*A muscular Lou Ferrigno acting as an open, stereotypical and extremely derogatory transsexual
*A Lesbian couple passionately French-kissing in the background throughout the films climax, having been inserted after a scene showing the producer talking to the scripwriter and opting for such a completely necessary act.
*A spoof of Jason Vorhees for...no apparent reason
*A home mansion that?s apparently taking cues from the Doctor as it?s larger than it is on the outside...Que?
And the list goes on, at some point or another you realize that this film is less a parody of gangster movies and more flinging excrement at a chalkboard full of ideas dreamt up whilst on LSD and then just seeing what they can get away with. Normally that could at least hold itself up as some kind of ridiculously stupid comedy but oh no, none of the jokes have any humour whatsoever to them. Every line and action is a played out gag, from referring to the character who parodies Dick Tracy as Tracy's Dick (How could you Rodney, how could you?) to a don offering a dusty condom when asked for protection by a fellow crime family, if Airplane can pull this kind of thing off well it can't be that hard.
Apart from that there's really not a whole lot that I can comment on, the story is barely cohesive and a real shame considering its links to organized crime films, the characters make me want to drop-kick children, the jokes are blander than a bread sandwich and watching Rodney Dangerfield be in it is like watching your mother in an obscure East German fetish porno, a horrible sight to behold yet you simply can't take your eyes off it (and there seems to be a bit of rape going on). Coupled with the fact that the budget is laughably low and it really can't decide what age audience it's shooting for (at one point when the titular "Hero" Guppy, who's more of a zero, is attending "Mobster school", no really, you see a violent display of how to dispose of a body using a chainsaw. Yet when the spoof of Scarface comes on screen who couldn't act his way out of a sick bag, something you might need if you want to endure this crap-fest, he uses the word "Fudge" instead of "Fuck" and subsequently begins to PG-13 butcher Mr Montana?s most marvellous quotes) I rate this zero "I just came in my pants for the thumbnail" Kevin McDonald faces out of five:
Now I challenge you to find a film worse than this and review under the guise of IT'S CRAP so we can all sort through the tongue bathes and sorry at humour (And ironic hypocrisy) that plague this place (Hehehe)