Japan Invents Internet Kissing Machine

Andy Chalk

One Flag, One Fleet, One Cat
Nov 12, 2002
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Japan Invents Internet Kissing Machine

Researchers in Japan are working on revolutionary new technology that will simulate kissing over the internet.

It might not look like much more than a box with a straw and some wires sticking out of it, but this device created by students at the Kajimoto Laboratory at the University of Electro-Communications in Japan is so very much more than that. "This device is for communications within the mouth, in other words, the goal is to obtain the feeling of kissing," said researcher Nobuhiro Takahashi. "If you take one device in your mouth and turn it with your tongue, the other device turns in the same way."

The video, and the entire concept, strikes me as more than a little bizarre and decidedly un-kissing-like. The project is still in the prototype phase but the distinct absence of lips is problematic and I have to wonder how exciting it can possibly without the risk of stale coffee breath and teeth awkwardly and painfully banging together. Takahashi, however, said the lab is working hard to address those shortcomings. "The elements of a kiss include the sense of taste, the matter of breathing and the moistness of the tongue," he explained. "If we can recreate all of those I think it will be a really powerful device."

And what, you may wonder, are the practical applications for this thing? Aside from the obvious cross-market opportunities with the also-invented-in-Japan SOM [http://www.escapistmagazine.com/news/view/87968-The-Next-Gen-In-Hands-Free-Technology], Takahashi suggested that entertainers could use it to record and sell their kisses. "That could be hugely popular if you offer it to fans," he said.

Yeah, or hugely weird. Take your pick.

Source: DigInfo [http://www.diginfo.tv/2011/05/02/11-0090-r-en.php]


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Tohuvabohu

Not entirely serious, maybe.
Mar 24, 2011
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Of course Japan would come up with this, and have it so thoroughly researched as to actually have a prototype ready for experimentation. Who else could do this?

Also, that looks like it might pinch.
 

SomeLameStuff

What type of steak are you?
Apr 26, 2009
4,291
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I... uh...

Just, what?

Well, I suppose the people of Japan could use a good kiss right now, ba dum tish. [sub]Too soon?[/sub]
 

thenumberthirteen

Unlucky for some
Dec 19, 2007
4,794
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Point proven. Technological progress is powered by the desire for sex.

This is just absolutely bizarre. First off so you'd have to buy this crazy contraption and download kisses from the web? I'd rather have a fleshlight in my house than one of those. Far less embarrassing.
 

Jadak

New member
Nov 4, 2008
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It's a rotating straw, I think they've got a good bit of work to do yet....
 

The Funslinger

Corporate Splooge
Sep 12, 2010
6,150
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Ghostwise said:
Only a gateway piece of technology to strengthen the porn industry. Will soon be phallic shaped and emit a liquid.
Assorted fruit flavor "liquid" refills optional XD
 

tomtom94

aka "Who?"
May 11, 2009
3,373
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It took Japan this long to invent this? I'm almost disappointed.

What else can be said other than "Oh, Japan..."?
 

Bara_no_Hime

New member
Sep 15, 2010
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It looks like we're one step closer to Yahtzee's dream of a full-feedback codpiece.

And I'll assume he intended to imply a reciprocal model for us ladies.
 

FarleShadow

New member
Oct 31, 2008
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Anyone else just see what appears to be a straw on a rotating disc?

Whoo! Its just like kissing....a spinning straw!
 

2733

New member
Sep 13, 2010
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It's nice to know that japan has still cornered the market on weird.

"screw the water! I'm busy building a kissing machine!"
 

FarleShadow

New member
Oct 31, 2008
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Bara_no_Hime said:
It looks like we're one step closer to Yahtzee's dream of a full-feedback codpiece.

And I'll assume he intended to imply a reciprocal model for us ladies.
You haven't noticed the several million models already on the market?