Jim & Yahtzee's Rhymedown Spectacular: A Tale of Two Poets

IamLEAM1983

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Aug 22, 2011
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Jimothy Sterling said:
It was basic indeed, by choice. I wanted to start with something very simple. Over the course of the series I want to try different styles, and not necessarily all rhyming ones. Next week will be closer to Yahtzee's structure, I think.
Cool! That'll be fun to see. I just can't wrap my head around non-rhyming poetry and I've taken two classes. It all falls back on the choice of words and the rhythm and spacing... It's much more challenging than having something like rhymes to lean on. I tried giving it a shot a few times before, and what came out of these efforts was usually more prose than poetry.

Congrats on a successful first attempt!
 

5-0

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No other games site would have the balls to do this, and that's why I stay here. Sublime.
 

Kahani

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I will be very disappointed if all Escapist articles aren't in poem form from now on.
 

chriswolvie

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(In the interest of equal time...)

"The Draconian Tale"
by Jim Sterling

I'll tell you a story of "Diablo III"
A game that I wish could be talked of with glee
And yet, sadly, such praise could not be
Because of its failed internet strategy

I don't like to complain - oh, I do hate to grouse
But an online requirement for an "auction house"?!
Say what you will; try to justify them
Such ideas are just poorly-disguised DRM

I'll tell you a story of "EA SimCity"
A game with potential but, ah, what a pity
A game that demands us to be online forever
With service that failed? Well, now, that's hardly clever

We're expected to swallow/applaud this disaster
As DRM cripples games harder and faster
Oh, wait, I'm sorry. I'll have to eat crow
EA's got a reason: "SimCity's an MMO!"

We've hear 'sorted rumours of the next XBox
A DRM vector spreading the pox:
"To be always online is the way things are done
Who cares if it works? Who cares if it's dumb?"

The consumer comes last now the internet's here
Presenting new ways to feed publisher fear
To lock us, restrict us, tell us when we can play
With ineffective service that kill games for days

So I'll tell you a tale about you, my dear gamer
Be wary, as DRM grows lamer and lamer
Don't listen when they say, "It's not what it seems."
This DRM crap is the stuff of their dreams
 

Rad Party God

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I like it. A lot.

The wait for next week will be almost unbearable.

The prospect of freezing myself in time sounds pretty good honestly.
 

Pikey Mikey

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That was really entertaining =) I agree with "the others", make it weekly (if it doesn't get too hard/create too much work)
Especially Yahtzee, his voice is one you could just listen to, no matter what he talks about, for a looong time.
 

00slash00

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i dont really understand what criticism yahtzee was making about the ps4. i understood the part about motion controls but...i dont think the ps4 is really making that a big selling point. as i understand it, microsoft is the one who is still trying to push motion control
 

Truth Cake

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As enjoyable as it was to watch (and it was), and though I'm sure this won't be read by anyone who cares, I have constructive criticism to offer:

First, I feel there should probably be a theme for both poems to follow for future episodes... the two poems we have here, there's not much about their overall subject material that overlaps... PS4 and DRM... well, I HOPE they don't overlap, but if both write a poem about the same or similar subject matter, I think it could be much more enjoyable- more like a conversation in verse for our amusement :p

Second, Jim should find a different room to recite his poetry in... it might just be me, but I found the echo of that room to be annoying while he was reciting his poem... it's not as annoying in the Jimquisition because it's only for the intro and ending bits.

Third, it should be MANDATORY for Yahtzee to wear his hat. How do we even know it's Yahtzee without his hat!? He wears them in ZP, why not here!?
 

gorfias

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Falseprophet said:
To both these fine gentlemen:
We'd be not adverse
If every now and then
You'd treat us to more verse.
I'd love them to do more of this too, but how do they top this? Fun verse and it is relevant. I can't wait to find out if the 720 will require always online.
 

Lovely Mixture

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chriswolvie said:
chriswolvie said:
Many thanks my friend. It's shame they didn't put transcripts up.

WaitWHAT said:
Oh Christ. Really, Yahtzee? Really? I expected better from you. The PS4 has very good reasons for not having backwards compatibility as mentioned on this bloody site [http://www.escapistmagazine.com/articles/view/columns/experienced-points/10215-Why-the-PS4-Doesnt-Do-PS3-Games]. It would be literally impossible to put backwards compatibility on the PS4 without jacking the price up through the roof by giving in a hexacore processor capable of running modern games and keeping within a decent thermal envelope. Do your reasearch, FFS. I expect better from you.
The existence of "Good reasons" in this case, doesn't deduct from the opinion of those who feel that it is stupid, and Yatzhee's reasons for it being stupid are right there in his poem ("It seems to me this car is just trying way to hard!
It's innovating only for the sake of innovation!")

better hardware =/= better games
more features =/= better experience

And I'm not saying: "If it ain't broke, don't fix it."
I'm saying: "If you have something better, try and convince me that it's better and open the aspect of appealing to what already works."


PS1 had 32-bit graphics, 3D, and ran disks.
PS2 had better graphics, could run PS1 games, and could play DVDs.
PS3 only had some models that played PS2 and PS1 titles. But it had, better graphics a Blu-Ray player (which could also play DVDs), internal hard drive, and built-in wireless controllers (that could charge from being plugged into the console).

PS4 brings us.....better graphics and social integration, does that seem like a big step forward? And it can't play the games of any of the previous ones, so it sounds like a loss to me instead.

00slash00 said:
i dont really understand what criticism yahtzee was making about the ps4. i understood the part about motion controls but...i dont think the ps4 is really making that a big selling point. as i understand it, microsoft is the one who is still trying to push motion control
Yeah that part was a little iffy. I think (emphasis on think) he was trying to criticize their arguments on immersion being a selling point.
 

Bara_no_Hime

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... that was a thing that happened.

I was expecting a sort of... battle of the poets thing, rather than just two poets reading their poems. "Rhymedown" makes it sound like a competition, but what we got was a poetry slam. Not that it was bad. Just... strange.
 

Lovely Mixture

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WaitWHAT said:
You fool. Read that link I posted. READ IT! Seriously, stop whatever you're doing now and read it. It would be literally impossible to make the PS4 backwards compatible with the PS3. They had completely different hardware. The PS3 had 6, weak-ish cores with very specifically optimized levels of Cache to do certain tasks, and was written in a specific code for that model. The new PS4 has 8 cores, but uses the x86 programming, something designed for a modern CPU with modern ram, and utterly incompatible with the old PS3 code.
I read it long before you posted it there.
It doesn't change a thing, and it doesn't change Yatzhee's argument.

The point is, Sony made a choice to omit backwards compatibility and that's what he's criticizing them for.

Unless there's something written into the The Holy Document of Sony Law that says: "The PS4 MUST have architecture that denies usability with the previous consoles." I see no reason that they had to make this decision.

The argument isn't:

"I'm not gonna buy the PS4. The PS4 should be able to run PS3 games cause I want it to, and technology should ALWAYS be able go forward and backward....derp."

It's

"I see no reason to get excited for a console that can do LESS than what the current consoles can, and is going to be more expensive."


WaitWHAT said:
It would be like asking your windows game to run on Linux.
Which is both possible (for some games at least), and irrelevant because you can have multiple operating systems on a computer.


tl;dr

"The PS4 can't play PS3 games, read this link" is not a counter argument because no one is arguing that "it should", they're arguing that they have no incentive to buy it.
 

Orekoya

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WaitWHAT said:
You fool. Read that link I posted. READ IT! Seriously, stop whatever you're doing now and read it. It would be literally impossible to make the PS4 backwards compatible with the PS3. They had completely different hardware. The PS3 had 6, weak-ish cores with very specifically optimized levels of Cache to do certain tasks, and was written in a specific code for that model. The new PS4 has 8 cores, but uses the x86 programming, something designed for a modern CPU with modern ram, and utterly incompatible with the old PS3 code. It would be like asking your windows game to run on Linux.
What are you on?
Seriously, stop fanboying this hard and think about the argument for a second. Yes, the technology they're going to use will not allow for backwards compatibility. However, nobody forced Sony to use the technology it did for PS3 or will for PS4. The only ones responsible for the situation they're in now, where they can't offer the services that the majority of the audiences wants, is Sony. It even says in the article you linked that this was a very dumb decision on Sony's part so you can knock off using the technical aspects to defend their poor planning.

Also your analogy doesn't hold up because Microsoft doesn't develop windows and linux. A proper analogy would be like that any games developed for Window XP/Vista/7 should not be compatible with Windows 8 since Windows 8 doesn't support backwards compatibility because technology. Oh but Windows 8 has full backwards compatibility.
 

introverted_surd

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May 7, 2012
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Both of their poems were amazing but Yahtzees was off the charts. I almost stood up and aplauded it was that good. When I read that it was weekly I almost died. Zero punctation and now this on the same day. Wednesday is now my favourite day of the week.
 

Bujiraso

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Feb 12, 2011
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Wonderful. Perfect. More.
Also, the final line of Yahtzee's poem had me laughing in tears.