Jim & Yahtzee's Rhymedown Spectacular: Press X

Jim And Yahtzee

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Apr 16, 2013
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Press X

Put on your poetry hats and join two of the greatest wordsmiths of our generation as they fill your ears with verse.

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Miyenne

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May 16, 2013
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Gotta give it to Yahtzee this time. Poignant. And quite sad how it hits on the reality that gaming glosses over. Love to my friends who were in the war and managed to keep on, and love to their families that kept them going. And to all soldiers with that emptiness in your eyes that breaks my heart to see.

Jim's was funny in his normal disturbing way.
 

Azex

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Jan 17, 2011
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After last week's amazing podtoid, this was a wonderful treat thanks jim!
 
Jan 12, 2012
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Damn good showing from Yahtzee.

Jim... You need to talk with someone. Open the blinds, go for a walk, maybe write something that isn't full of creepy sexual connotations.
 

Jim And Yahtzee

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Apr 16, 2013
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I remember watching Lewis and Clark back in the nineties, the promos were the most amusing part.

That poor solder pressed X so many times, now he IS "ex"
 

ascorbius

Numberwanger
Nov 18, 2009
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Yahtzee - That was poetry, filled with imagery, sadness and a decent poke at realism of war played out for entertainment.

Jim - oh Jim... That was Misery not poetry.
 

Canadamus Prime

Robot in Disguise
Jun 17, 2009
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Jim, do you take pleasure in disturbing me? 'Cause you're very good at it. I think I'm going to have nightmares about your poem tonight.
 

spwatkins

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Nov 11, 2009
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DVS BSTrD said:
I remember watching Lewis and Clark back in the nineties, the promos were the most amusing part.
So awesome when they both set eyes on the Pacific Ocean :)
 

Something Amyss

Aswyng and Amyss
Dec 3, 2008
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Miyenne said:
Gotta give it to Yahtzee this time. Poignant. And quite sad how it hits on the reality that gaming glosses over. Love to my friends who were in the war and managed to keep on, and love to their families that kept them going. And to all soldiers with that emptiness in your eyes that breaks my heart to see.
Press X to ignore human decency and slash benefits for vets.

canadamus_prime said:
Jim, do you take pleasure in disturbing me? 'Cause you're very good at it. I think I'm going to have nightmares about your poem tonight.
He's like a vampire. Only he feeds on awkwardness.
 

Lvl 64 Klutz

Crowsplosion!
Apr 8, 2008
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Jim's poems have gone from weird to creepy and now to outright psychotic. I don't know, I guess I just draw the line when you start throwing mutilation fantasy into your poetry.
 

Canadamus Prime

Robot in Disguise
Jun 17, 2009
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Zachary Amaranth said:
canadamus_prime said:
Jim, do you take pleasure in disturbing me? 'Cause you're very good at it. I think I'm going to have nightmares about your poem tonight.
He's like a vampire. Only he feeds on awkwardness.
I believe it. After this poem he's going to be very well fed.
 

Vicioussama

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Jun 5, 2008
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Really do enjoy Yahtzee's. It was pretty thought provoking with a good message to consider.

And Jim's, man, that was creepy, but entertaining :p
 

Tanneseph

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May 2, 2011
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Yahtzee's was absolutely brilliant - what an artful way to make the imagery of war and war-game clash.

I stopped watching by the time Jim mentioned slashing tendons. When Jim is good, he's great. I'm tired of the gross-out stuff, though.
 

Mr. Q

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Apr 30, 2013
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Glad you're venting your displeasure of QTE's in a healthy manner, Yahtzee, rather than planning your "Press X to not die" murders.

As for you, Jim... Me thinks its time for you to take a trip to the "enchanted kingdom" for a well deserved rest.
 

MichaelMaverick

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Jan 28, 2009
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Well, that's another weekly supplement of depression to go along with the one I already have. I'm sure this is going to end well.
 

Evonisia

Your sinner, in secret
Jun 24, 2013
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Well those two poems were incredibly bleak. I predict that the "Press X to not die" murders will begin shortly.
 

RJ 17

The Sound of Silence
Nov 27, 2011
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Just when I thought Jim was going to do a "normal" poem about Superman actors, he pleasantly surprises me and reveals that he certainly hasn't gone soft on us.

Bravo to the both of you, as usual.
 

KR4U55

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Mar 12, 2012
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Yatzee's poem was a great satire. Very grim. Jim's part made me remember something he said in the last Jimquisition: "...I don't know why you think it's aproppiate to send this to Jimquisition's host..."
 

shiajun

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Jun 12, 2008
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So first it was David Boreanaz and now Dean Cain? I wonder what 90s TV star will be next in Jim's creep-o-parade.
 

Darth_Payn

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Aug 5, 2009
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shiajun said:
So first it was David Boreanaz and now Dean Cain? I wonder what 90s TV star will be next in Jim's creep-o-parade.
Maybe someone from Hercules or Xena?

captcha: that's positivenergy
After today's poems, I could use some cheering up.
 

neppakyo

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Apr 3, 2011
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Oh dear.. I think Jim is twisting my 90's TV childhood. I'll never look at those two the same again..

Hm, speaking of Xena.. Ted Raimi.. Joxer the mighty..

 

Auron225

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Oct 26, 2009
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At least when Yahtzees aren't funny, they're thought-provoking. I don't see the point in Jims at all. Gettin' tired of creepiness and awkwardness for the sole sake of it.
 

Psychobabble

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Aug 3, 2013
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Dang it Yahtzee! Can you get over the whole ludonarrative dissonance argument already! XD


And Jim .... uh .... I say either seek help ... or start building the SAW dungeon under your house.
 

Jim And Yahtzee

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Apr 16, 2013
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Thunderous Cacophony said:
Damn good showing from Yahtzee.

Jim... You need to talk with someone. Open the blinds, go for a walk, maybe write something that isn't full of creepy sexual connotations.
thats kind of his shtick, now.

sadly he is relying to much on grossing people out rather than to come up with something new and fresh to entertain the people.
 

varmintx

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Oct 6, 2011
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Jim, did you teach David Boreanaz a lesson about his toys one too many times and need to replace his decaying corpse?
 

zvate

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Aug 12, 2010
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I really look forward to Dean Cain's family and friends Google searching out of curiosity of their semi-famous acquaintance and coming by Jim's song somewhere down the road... Jim, you do realize that the song actually does provide legit grounds for a restraining order and if lacking context it does make you look that messed up maybe you should reign it in and keep your targets fictional.

And who says you cant tell a compelling story through quick time events;)
 

LaughingAtlas

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Nov 18, 2009
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That might have been Jim's most frightening, most someone-get-a-restraining-order-in-place-right-now poem yet. Which is really saying something, bravo, sir!

Also, I'm picturing a 'modern military shooter' (if that's what they're calling them now) in which the protagonist gets a limb blown off, sent home, and forced to get through his dull, daily routine a few times before getting to the drinking-in-an-alley part, whereupon (probably)Russian troops storm the town, he grabs a gun, and saves the day with patriotic crap in the background noise, just faint enough that it might be the painkillers he took too many of finally kicking in.
 

mattttherman3

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Dec 16, 2008
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Kind of creepy Jim, especially since I find Dean Cain to be a really nice person, I shook his hand and got his autograph! I just wish I could have met Christopher Reeve :(
 

Olas

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Dec 24, 2011
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You know, I'm starting to suspect that Jim might be a little bit odd.
 

thunderbuck

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Oct 28, 2010
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Yahtzee: Nice, poetic, heavy. Well done

Jim: Well, ok, it rhymed but that was disturbing even by Podtoid standards. Still, well done.
 

TheUnbeholden

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Dec 13, 2007
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well
Yahtzee: +1 for sadness in truth, +1 for poking at WW2 games, rhyming would be a 3 or 4.
Jim: -1 for not being about gaming, -1 for being only slightly funny, rhyming probably a 2 or 3.
 

xiongxioi

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Oct 8, 2012
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I don't like scoring system, so I will just speak out loud the pros and cons of each piece.
yahtzee:
Pro: This is one of Yahtzee's better poems. No cheap laughs, no explaining the joke, no references. It feels original and solid. It has pitch black humour with a sense of class that totally deconstructs the entire shooter genre. The scenario depicted would not feel out of place even in a very great novel. It feels even better after each listen.
Con: I can't think of any legit flaws. I may able to come up with some if I think harder, but that's defeating the purpose of criticism. So I would instead give Yahtzee a bit of comment on his general work. Yahtzee only has 8 to 16 hours to play a game, it's usually enough to get you through one of the modern cookie cutting "cinematic experience" horse shit, but it is far insufficient to let any emotion grow. I would recommand you to split a big name story focused AAA title into a few sessions so that your judgement will be thorough. I dislike most modern games are trying to tell an emotional story while attampt to have their gapless murdering slip by, it makes all the characters harder to be sympathized. (Why would I care about Some *****'s life when I have killed at least 50 female bandits and necromancers in the last few hours) However, as a game journalist, you should understand that AAA titles are forced to be made this way. If you can ignore all the nameless people you have been murdered in a AAA title and only count dudes on your side, or people with names and faces, then you would have a better time taking the stories in.
BTW, you novels are not great. they have no dramas, no philosophy, no seriousness, no character building moment that changes my impression of some dudes/ladies. the frame is there, but the soul is not. Don't take this as my grudge against you, I love your humour, but I don't like the laziness that floats in your texts. 

Jim:
Pro: Using Froggie reference is quite funny, we only realise how awful those games are when we have been playing bigger and better games even since nintendo. Bits of it are quite frightening.
Con: I don't like any of the superman actors, superman doesn't have a soul; he has a dictionary for American in his chest instead of a heart. Jim did not expore the horridness to its full potential, and the wording is dry. (where are the bit of showing of your closet of skeletons and the plastificated hookers in your basement? how about killing his high school sweet-heart in front of him and skin his cat alive? Or even better, put him inside a James bond villainy torturing device that hacks off an inch of his foot every time he let a frog die.)
The biggest complain I have is: this poem gives no point. So, do you hate that guy secretly because most superheros suck, or do you like that punk so much that it defines and shapes you as a person? I don't get anything after finishing it, and I feel the build-up is in vain.
Also, using Fuck is only funny when it's deconstructed. I know it is frustrating to write a poem with Yahtzee every week, but you don't need to be better than anyone, just think up weird and interesting stuffs and then expand them and polish them. You will get something good out eventually.