Seriously late to the party (been busy IRL) but I figured I'd throw in my two copper pieces here again at the tail end.
The problem with having a discussion on an issue like this, is that a discussion requires there to be more than one legitimate point of view being present. That isn't the case here. The entire arguement about the objectification of women in video games, and how it creates a hostile enviroment for women, and explains why less women play games, etc... has absolutly no legs to stand on... at all. All of this "objectification" is exactly what women themselves want from fantasy, a woman creating a work of fantasy is going to create a character a lot like "The Sorceress" from Dragons Crown, which you can see if you bother to take a look at the work women create with an assumed audience of other women. What's more when you sit down and read fan fictions, tween writing, etc... you'll notice that if anything teenage girls are worse than the boys are, and again this is exactly the kind of physical perfection they create. The term "Mary Sue" in regards to writing, which refers to a perfect, unstoppable, protaganist, exists largely because of the ultra-beautiful, perfect characters written by young girls. Anyone who wants to argue this point is simply ignorant, and really, as I've said before, I recommend you sit down and actually go out and read things like the "Women Of The Otherworld" novels, or Kim Harrison's "Hollows" series, or the writings of Llith Saintcrow, as well as making note of the artwork which does a pretty good job of representing the characters in those novels. Perhaps most importantly I recommend reading at least a dozen or so fan fictions written by young girls, starting with the masterwork (lol) known as "My Immortal". I'm *QUITE* familiar with this kind of thing to be blunt, and as a result I call poppycock on anyone claiming an issue here, because there simply is not one, never has been, never will be. The entire arguement is fueled by insecure guys who think they will meet more girls in their hobby, and those girls will like them better, if they try and create a straw-man feminist issue to beat up on, in the meantime the girls who have an interest in fantasy will largely be creating or playing characters a lot like "The Sorceress" and similar things, generally creating them out of a vaccum if given a complete free hand with an RPG or whatever. Exceptions exist of course, but for the most part you aren't going to see many characters created by women that come accross anything like that elf... again, read some fan fictions and stuff. Exceptions do exist, but for the most part it goes into similar places as "My Immortal" where you see constant focus on the protaganist's hawt goth wardrobe or whatever.
At any rate, the point here is that there is nothing to discuss. What apologies and such you see, seem to more be forced politically and due to the backlash of those championing a straw man issue than anything else.
What's more I get kind of tired of people trying to claim nobody wants to "take your games away" or "change anything" while arguably demanding that we start designing games based around some kind of academic ideal formed by naive men who really have no idea what kind of fantasy women create and consume on their own. It is very much a matter of wanting to "take games away from everyone else" by trying to force a compromise by which characters like this won't exist, or at least will represent an exception alongside a "mainstream" of sanitized female characters which at the end of the day won't appeal to anyone on either side of the gender spectrum. One thing you'll rapidly notice for example is that when it comes up female authors rarely if ever have normal looking protaganists, in many cases you will see protaganists who "don't make a big deal about their appearance" or have little body confidence, but have the truth conveyed by the rest of a supporting cast that finds time to go 'ga ga' at appropriate moments.
In short there is no issue here, there never has been one, there never will be one. Sure there are going to be exceptions, and I'm sure there are probably a few women who agree with these issues and aren't just looking for attention, but your dealing with what is such a tiny minority in the scope of fantasy that it's hardly something that should be used to make arguements about policy or what fandom in general should be doing.
Likewise, as I've mentioned before, this entire arguement can probably be blamed for the "cull" of female protaganists in video games. I'll be honest, right now I'd want to stay away myself as a businessman because I'd be put in a position where I can either make a good character that weill perform well with men and women, but deal with a major headache from a bunch of rabble rousers that will such away all joy before it, or I can create something that this group of rabble rousers might approve of, but is likely to fail utterly with both male and female gamers. At the end of the day the women want their ideal characters too, the ones that look like the protaganists from their own fiction come to life in artwork. On a lot of levels this entire arguement stems around people saying women can't have that because it (gasp) also appeals to men.
Nothing I haven't said before, but I figured I'd put it up here for completeness, and I suppose it's one of my better summaries. It also kind of answers Jim's more or less rhetorical question about why there isn't a dialogue on this subject, at the end of the day I do not think I'm alone in thinking that there just can't be one. Oddly the more you know about fandom and fantasy in general, and the more works of female creators your familiar with, as well as what women on the "fan" level churn out as creative writing level on the internet (and guys are just as bad in their own way, so don't misunderstand that), the harder it becomes to take this seriously. I suppose on an academic level it's possible to see how someone who has little or no knowlege of fantasy created by women (or realized it if they did) might see a "problem" with the sorceress and similar characters and jump to conclusions. But if you are familiar with that stuff you pretty much just have to look at it and go "so what?". It's the kind of thing that comes to exist on it's own, not because of some testosterone club dominating everything, as this exists just as much in estrogene-ville.