Jimquisition: The Sh*tiest Games of 2012

Imp_Emissary

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Ryan Hughes said:
Imp Emissary said:
Ryan Hughes said:
Ahh Great List Jim, and Merry Christmas Eve!

Though, I still think that you love Konami, just like I do, and that is why it hurts so much to see them mistreat you. I know they have been treating the fans poorly, but it is OK to admit that you still love them in spite of that.
As some people at the Escapist Expo said (I think Jim may have too), :/ the way your talking, it sounds like your in an abusive relationship.
As bad as Konami has been over the last few years, at least they are not Capcom, desperately trying to capture western aesthetics in an industry that it helped build. Nor are they as bad as many other companies. Sure, SHHD collection was terrible, bad, horrid, and a bunch of other nasty things, but it was still not as bad as what EA did to the Ultima games from Ultima VIII onwards. At least their games are not the qusi-racist and wholly thoughtless tripe of the common Millitary Shooter.

Konami makes my four favorite series of all time: Suikoden, Silent Hill, Castlevania, and Metal Gear. So, I guess I will admit that I am biased, but I do not think it is time to end this relationship yet.

1. LOVE Metal Gear.

2. Just because something is worse than Konami doesn't make what they did any less bad. That said, I hope they can do better two.

3.
 

Skops

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Mar 9, 2010
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lol, I own 4 of these games:

Amy
CoD: Declassified
Resistance: Burning Skies
Silent Hill HD Collection
 

mykalwane

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Nice pairing. Having the award week, then have this. Made me smile. Will make dealing with family easier, thank you for that.
 

yngi

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i'm starting to think jim could be the devil.........I want more shows like this they aremore fun than a barrel full of monkeys
 

mattttherman3

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lobotoja said:
Take that fucking hat off you turd blob, or Ill come to visit and stick you with your own dildo sword so you look like a pig ready for roasting not just a fucking hog. Consider yourself intellectual and you wear signs of worse mass-murderers and child rapist the world has seen... nazis were a breeze compared to fucking Bolsheviks you shit for brains fat **** read some history not just regurgitate the mass fed marketing shit gray masses are fed you as-hole.
Wow, just wow. There is already so much hate in this world, why can't you just be nice? :(

OT great vid jim, I have not actually played any of these but I definately won't now
 

Stryc9

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Nov 12, 2008
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LadyRhian said:
Wow, Jim... You have a surprisingly nice voice!
You should listen to Podtoid the podcast he hosts over on Destructoid, he sings quite often on there. He also talks about his problems with Konami on there a bit.
 

lacktheknack

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Let no one say I don't give things third and fourth chances. I still can't stand this show. ;__;
 

Sir Shockwave

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GAunderrated said:
I'm surprised warZ didn't make it on there.
Probably because like us, there's a December Embargo on these things. With luck, he may bring it up in either a Video in January, New Years Eve OR add it as an honourable mention to next years list X3

Gizmo1990 said:
What is Jims problem with konami? I agree with him but he seems to really hate them. Is it just that they continue to fuck up some of his favorite game series or did something actually happen between him and konami?
Here, go watch -

http://www.escapistmagazine.com/videos/view/jimquisition/5524-Konami

OT: They made a Thundercats game based on the 2011 version and it SUCKED?!

...Why do I get the feeling THIS was the reason the show was cancelled? O_O
 

saintdane05

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lobotoja said:
Take that fucking hat off you turd blob, or Ill come to visit and stick you with your own dildo sword so you look like a pig ready for roasting not just a fucking hog. Consider yourself intellectual and you wear signs of worse mass-murderers and child rapist the world has seen... nazis were a breeze compared to fucking Bolsheviks you shit for brains fat **** read some history not just regurgitate the mass fed marketing shit gray masses are fed you as-hole.
I think Jim is the one that needs to do the all raging in these threads, son.
 

Datacide

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Frank_Sinatra_ said:
Aww... I wanted the Zone of the Enders HD Collection to be with the Silent Hill HD Collection.
Both of those Konami decided to diddle over a dog house.


Yeah Konami, let's hand ZOE over to a studio who has only made tie-in games for Nickelodeon.
Morons.

Yeah, I simply don't get how they could fuck it up so badly. Both of those HD collections were #1 on my "to get" list when they were announced. I always wait for reviews before buying, and boy, was I glad I did. I can't believe they dropped the ball so badly. Makes me very, very sad.
 

Aaron Sylvester

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As Jim said though, as a hardcore title based around Kinect, Steel Battalion has already slimmed down it's target audience so much that there is virtually nobody who gives a fuck about the game.

Well, almost.
 

otakon17

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Actually Jim, I'm only watching this AFTER spending time with my family already :). As for your stuff, funny. God that damn dildo......
 

Therumancer

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Nov 28, 2007
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Undeadpool said:
Shameless said:
No Resident Evil 6 ? color me surprised.
That game was disappointingly mediocre, these games all seemed to be actively on fire.

Especially that 2012 game, that shit makes you forget all about RE5 in terms of amping up the racism. It seriously looks like the kind of thing the KKK or the Aryan Brotherhood would fund as a flash game.
To be honest I agreed with his general sentiments, about all the games, but really I think people need to stop prattling on about racism when there is no present, especially seeing as when people cry racism they don't even seem to know what it is, probably because racism as a mainstream phenomena is dead in the first world. It does exist on the fringes of society however.

Before you fire back, I'd point out that there really ARE games made by racist groups. "Ethnic Cleaning" being one from a white supremacy point of view.

Showing a bunch of primitive and backwards people AS primitive and backwards people is not in any way, shape, or form racist. Calling a guy who literally walks around and throws spears because that is the cutting edge of his availible technology a "spear chucker" isn't racist either. To be racist you have to be making a statement saying that these people are inherantly inferior and could never be any more than that, or by taking a person of a specific ethnicity who is more than that (say a black guy with a first world education and a good job) and saying that they are that when they clearly are not. Calling a banker a spear chucker is racist, calling a tribesman one is not.

At any rate, I never played 2012 due to the horrible reviews, but this is the first time I remember ever hearing it called racist. I seem to remember videos of guys like "Totalbiscuit" playing it, so I have some familiarity with it, and the basic idea is that the ancient mayans and cultists who have been in hiding and keeping the bloodlines pure are trying to bring about Armageddon. Now, I probably shouldn't have to explain to you that ancient mayans were NOT white guys, and didn't exactly fight with guns, what's more these paticular guys have magic. As part of the game setup from various walkthroughs your only able to fight them with very specific "mysical weapons" as anything else is totally ineffective. Sure a guy carrying a spear might seem silly, until you think conceptually that this guy could probably walk through an artillery barrage and slam that spear through a tank. They don't show anything like that so I guess it didn't sink in, but it's implied in the whole "here is the one weapon that can actually do anything here" which you upgrade with differant abillities apparently rather than collecting differant weapons.

To me you really have to stretch in this one to really say there was any racism here. You had people from a primitive civilization acting and looking like it... big frakking whoop. To be racist you'd have to go further than that. For example if their magic did't work or whatever. See a KKK type portrayal would have these guys insisting on acting this way despite common sense in a set of surroundings totally at odd with their behavior, and being unable to cope. If they went running around screaming "bad Juju" and similar statements out of place with the setting and blew powder around which did nothing while they got gunned down (intentionally, not by bad AI) it would be one thing. This game however for all of it's craptastic presentation is taking itself pretty seriously in the sense that these guys are supposed to be ancient mayans/cultists returned, they have working magic, and actully can end the world. By definition you could say it's the opposite of racism since these guys are by definition being defined as the most powerful beings ever. Their magical accomplishments have dwarfed the accomplishments of the rest of the world, and the only thing that can stop them is weapons drawing on the same basic power base. Stop and think about that.

I also find it hilarious that this game gets ire, yet if you want to get technical games like "The Secret World" are a hell of a lot more edgy in covering the same basic material, and I'm not just talking the current "end of the world" event. In TSW's lore the Mayans were a group of ancient mystical sociopaths out to basically unleash the equivilent of Cthulhu's bosses on the world. Despite the general lack of records or technologies, they wound up conquering most of North and South America before they ran into one tibe out on the East Coast called "The Wabanaki" who had enough magic to stand up to them. The Wabanaki were in the process of losing when the vikings who had discovered North America decided to get involved (this game is based on ancient conspiricies, including that one), and invoked their own gods who turned the tide of the battle and lead to the defeat of the Mayans. This is all covered in game lore, and in one paticualr instance called "Darkness War", where your characters as champions of Gaia are basically sent back in time mentally to fight the battle in the place of the actual Wabanaki of the time so you can use your super magical powers, in the midst of the throwdown with the final boss, a viking high priest literally walks up casts the spell "pwn everyone" using a very important (storywise) magical sword as a focus, and allows you and your allies to beat this monster you'll probably recognize from Cthulhu mythos inspired Artwork (here referred to as an Ak'ab, with this one being the great grand daddy of all Ak'ab).

Unlike "2012" this is all really well written, well presented, and utterly cool. It's not racist at all. On the other hand if your looking for a fight you can spin it that way pretty easily. Especially if you want to throw an Aryan spin on things, I mean the Nazis love their viking runes and such. It actually takes LESS effort than with "2012" (which I could do to play devil's advocate if the direction such an arguement could be made from isn't obvious).

TSW isn't all that successful a game either (went FTP in record time), so I don't think it's a matter of pressure. On some levels I just think Jim was groping for something to throw at th egame to make it seem even worse, which it really didn't need. From the videos and game reviews/descrptions I've seen, I never got the impression (though there were a few jokes, not intended to be taken seriously) that there was anything remotely racist about this.

As far as RE5 goes, I see it as the poster child for why we need to keep liberals out of review media, or at least edit their political comments. People set out to create a contreversy where there wasn't one, and to validate the statements of fringe whack jobs looking to get five minutes of fame with race comments to keep that contreversy going. To be blunt Africa is a bloody hell hole, needing to aid the peeople living there due to the wretched conditions is one of the big battle cries of international charity groups and human rights coalitions. Presenting it as a NICE place to live would actually be inaccurate and a bit insensitive on it's own (sweeping it under the rug so to speak). Even when it comes to the tribals it's no big deal, because like it or not tons of people down there DO dress and act like the typical African natives of lore still, that's not racist, it's the truth. Groups ike National Geographic do articles on it from time to time, and on top of it... and in the height of irony... liberals love to go on about protecting the indiginous peoples and their lifestyles and pretty much keeping it that way. I the left wing kind of absurd because on one hand it works to prevent the modern world from changing these people, but then gets all enraged when they are shown the way they are in a bad situation. From a liberal perspective they can call you a racist (misusing the term) going in either direction, including my own point of view that these people should be modernized and brought into the rest of society, as opposed to being kept in ignorance to preserve an archaic society for the amusement of anthropology students. The specifics of that and what it entails might not be entirely nice, but I think what we see going on is far more cruel, especially in the long run.... at any rate, when those "contreversial" tribals show up in RE5, what exactly is the issue? Unchecked sentinent bioweapons go ripping through the region, and are expected to stop at those groups of people? Killer Viruses should be politically correct?

A much longer rant than I intended, but honestly people crying "racism" and similar things over mainstream video games kind of irks me. If you want to do that kind of rant, find one that is actually racist.

As a general rule, REAL racists on the fringe tend to be very overt and open about their work, especially when groups like the KKK, Aryan Nation, and other "major" groups are involved. "Ethnic Cleansing" for example (there have been online reviews when it was newer) includes information in the game about how to get in touch with real racist groups if you agree with the message. The creators explaining at one point that they wanted to produce games like this to "give young white kids hope". They also tend to be concerned with the hear and now, not things like "well, what if the Mayan prophecies were correct, but they actually meant the Mayans were returning in force to use magic to kill us all and end the world... what if there was a chance of stopping them by using similar kinds of magic, wouldn't that make an awesome story/video game?" which is pretty much the thought process behind "2012".
 

Therumancer

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Nov 28, 2007
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IamLEAM1983 said:
I'm sad about Nihilistic, though. Used to be they produced "Vampire the Masquerade: Redemption". One of the best games no-one played.
Well, enough people played it to see another V:TM game released.

To be honest I think one of the big reasons why game design has suffered recently, especially on the single player RPG front, is the lack of using liscenced PnP RPG properties. A big issue with game design is coming up with the story, factions, etc... as well as a workable engine and set of mechanics for the game to draw on to work.

I think "Redemption" kind of shows how with the right RPG liscence (meaning a good backround and decent set of mechanics) even a mediocre developer can turn out a decent product. After all most of the "backround" writing has already been done, and typically the game mechanics have undergone YEARS of rigorous testing and revision to get consistant results for what they set out to do, they just need to be tweaked a bit for the video game format.

I think we're seeing what Nilistic is actually like without having a lot of that work done for them. On a similar note, I also think this is part of Bioware's "fall". You'll notice that a lot of their biggest successes came from using D&D rules and world settings. Doing all of that on their own has lead to some very mixed results (to be charitable). "Knights Of The Old Republic" for example had a set of mechanics that had seen tons of testing (d20)
before it was put into a video game. I think they have gone so action-centric with all of their titles because they haven't been able to come up with something quite as customizable and understandable that produces consistant results
on their own. "The Old Republic Online" didn't involve D&D mechanics. Some of their products are pretty solid still, but every one of them comes with tons of criticisms and hate (especially from people who paid for them, which puts the results of their sales ratings into question), far more than they used to get.

Nilistic is producing mediocre shooters instead of quality RPG games, while they were never as successful as Bioware, look at the criticisms leveled at them... seem similar? :)

I'll also say that I've noticed a general trend that the further a D&D game gets from D&D mechanics the more touchy it's performance and reception. This is in part why I'm wary about what might happen with the upcoming "Neverwinter" as much as I'd like for it to be a success (as a huge Forgotten Realms fan).

As I've said in other threads, if Bioware wants to get back on top and get away from a lot of the current divide and turmoil with it's fans, it might consider trying to liscence the D&D rules again for single player games, perhaps working out something to use earlier editions if the current rules are out there.

Nilistic might do the same thing, if they really did do "Redemption", perhaps they should go shopping for a PnP RPG liscence to build off of.

To be honest the PnP RPG seems to be dying, so I'd think liscencing for some of these would be relatively simple as long as it's for single player games (since a lot of the biggest RPGS like WoD or D&D have at least one MMO at least in the works).
 

TAdamson

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Jimothy Sterling said:
saintdane05 said:
Where did you get the dildo on a stick?
Can buy it from you?
Was sent to me during Saints Row 3's launch build-up. Unfortunately it's seen too much use as a Jimquisition prop for me to want to part with it.

Plus one day I plan to get drunk enough to see if I can fit it up me.
You and not Jonathan Holmes? You should totally should do a Saints Row themed 'Jonathan Holmes Helps Children' on Podtoid at some point by the way.