Already posted on reddit, but also wanted to post here since no one from said server check out this forum.
I had been part of this discord server for god knows how long. And to be honest, I met some great people there, some I came to know IRL. I am really not the person to socialize, and this channel really helped me re-kindle my love for being part of a community. It made it easy to laugh, stream, or just talk about non-sensical things with the members of the server.
But for the past few years, our interest began to change. More specifically, the games that the rest of the members started to play weren't really my type. 90% of the time they got online to play Valorant. While I do not care or judge over what games people tend to play, Valorant is a game I refuse to get back into. I don't have fun at all with that game, nor do I see myself improving. And because of that, I feel I was only holding the rest of the team back, and they didn't have to carry my noob ass or deal with my angry attitude. So I gave up on grouping up with them.
And even if I join the call just to be there w/o playing and just to talk, I feel I'm that unnecessary voice during each match. I can certainly mute myself, but I feel that defeats the whole purpose of joining the call in the first place.
When they aren't playing Valorant, they are streaming other games or movies, which again aren't exactly to my taste. I felt like an outcast for the past few years, with no one seeming to care or even show at least a little bit of reaction to what I was doing. It was expected, as I couldn't force them to watch what I did or play together with the game I was interested in.
Our active hours were different too. These guys gamed all night and slept during the day while I was active during day going about my business, occasionally checking in on the server. I would see all these posts from the night before which may have been hilarious to the context of what happened, but I wasn't there so I don't get the significance of these posts.
I would sometimes browse the internet and find articles filled with radical-liberal agendas or femi-nazi ideals, post them on the server and made comments on how ridiculous the ideas were. These were things that no rational person would think are good ideas. Yet, there were people on the server who thought the arguments made on the articles were justified, and even called be a "bigoted, sexist, racist" idiot for how dare I was to question the new way of the world (actual word)
But my biggest issue was this one guy, "Sammy", who decided to be a complete asshole. It didn't matter what I said or did, nor how dumb or intelligent they were. Sammy always found ways to bully me and made me into a complete joke. People of the server told me Sammy does this to everyone, but I doubt that. As I sometimes joined the call with him on the line, I saw him treat everyone else with at least some bit of dignity. I could've called him out on many occasions, but he would've simply made me look like an idiot again. And for whatever reason, everyone loved having Sammy on the call.
To put a cherry on the top, everyone acted as if nothing had happened after a little fallout between me and Sammy. It happened more than once. I don't know if they were simply ignoring me or was trying to move on, but nobody, not even once, talked or asked about how I felt, even though I voiced several times how I felt mistreated.
For a server with TOS which talked about respecting each other and having fun, I sure as hell didn't feel either towards myself, at least for the last few years. It's a real shame because as I've said at the beginning of the post I made lots of connections on this server, and even they wouldn't convince me to stay. I knew once I left the server there was no coming back, and I will go back to feeling lonely again. But I also knew it was an oil and water situation, where interests and even political ideals had become completely different. But it was me vs the entire server, and I simply felt I didn't have the energy to get them to listen to me.
IF they truly cared, they probably would've reached out via DM or invite me back. It's been just over 16 hours since my depature and I haven't heard from them once
I had been part of this discord server for god knows how long. And to be honest, I met some great people there, some I came to know IRL. I am really not the person to socialize, and this channel really helped me re-kindle my love for being part of a community. It made it easy to laugh, stream, or just talk about non-sensical things with the members of the server.
But for the past few years, our interest began to change. More specifically, the games that the rest of the members started to play weren't really my type. 90% of the time they got online to play Valorant. While I do not care or judge over what games people tend to play, Valorant is a game I refuse to get back into. I don't have fun at all with that game, nor do I see myself improving. And because of that, I feel I was only holding the rest of the team back, and they didn't have to carry my noob ass or deal with my angry attitude. So I gave up on grouping up with them.
And even if I join the call just to be there w/o playing and just to talk, I feel I'm that unnecessary voice during each match. I can certainly mute myself, but I feel that defeats the whole purpose of joining the call in the first place.
When they aren't playing Valorant, they are streaming other games or movies, which again aren't exactly to my taste. I felt like an outcast for the past few years, with no one seeming to care or even show at least a little bit of reaction to what I was doing. It was expected, as I couldn't force them to watch what I did or play together with the game I was interested in.
Our active hours were different too. These guys gamed all night and slept during the day while I was active during day going about my business, occasionally checking in on the server. I would see all these posts from the night before which may have been hilarious to the context of what happened, but I wasn't there so I don't get the significance of these posts.
I would sometimes browse the internet and find articles filled with radical-liberal agendas or femi-nazi ideals, post them on the server and made comments on how ridiculous the ideas were. These were things that no rational person would think are good ideas. Yet, there were people on the server who thought the arguments made on the articles were justified, and even called be a "bigoted, sexist, racist" idiot for how dare I was to question the new way of the world (actual word)
But my biggest issue was this one guy, "Sammy", who decided to be a complete asshole. It didn't matter what I said or did, nor how dumb or intelligent they were. Sammy always found ways to bully me and made me into a complete joke. People of the server told me Sammy does this to everyone, but I doubt that. As I sometimes joined the call with him on the line, I saw him treat everyone else with at least some bit of dignity. I could've called him out on many occasions, but he would've simply made me look like an idiot again. And for whatever reason, everyone loved having Sammy on the call.
To put a cherry on the top, everyone acted as if nothing had happened after a little fallout between me and Sammy. It happened more than once. I don't know if they were simply ignoring me or was trying to move on, but nobody, not even once, talked or asked about how I felt, even though I voiced several times how I felt mistreated.
For a server with TOS which talked about respecting each other and having fun, I sure as hell didn't feel either towards myself, at least for the last few years. It's a real shame because as I've said at the beginning of the post I made lots of connections on this server, and even they wouldn't convince me to stay. I knew once I left the server there was no coming back, and I will go back to feeling lonely again. But I also knew it was an oil and water situation, where interests and even political ideals had become completely different. But it was me vs the entire server, and I simply felt I didn't have the energy to get them to listen to me.
IF they truly cared, they probably would've reached out via DM or invite me back. It's been just over 16 hours since my depature and I haven't heard from them once
