Well you see, the pearly gates can only handle so many people at once before St. Peter and his crew go on strike; budget cuts and the removal of the ping pong table from the break room have not helped this. Management, in it's infinite wisdom, opted that instead of doing the rapture all at once they'd have to roll out the apocalypse in an incremental series, or the "4 Patches of the Apocalypse" as it's come to be called around the office.rhizhim said:
Now the IT department wasn't particularly happy about this as, according to them, it would be far more efficient to just hire on some temp workers at the gates rather than have to debug existence between each patch. In a worst case scenario they say that an exploit might be created in the laws of physics and cause interstellar travel to become possible, allowing people to travel to content areas they've yet to fully implement.[footnote]Mars was supposed to be a 40 million person raid dungeon before the boss discovered Minecraft and ordered the entire planet to be rebuilt from the ground up to be his multiplayer server.[/footnote]
Then of course the rumors started up when a guy started telling people that he got an all access preview of what the update is going to be. The fan wiki quickly got filled with the most incredible hogwash; an anti-christ, rivers of fire, a 7 headed dragon that eats babies, and something about the boss killing Stan from HR. Initially management wanted the rumors put down, but PR said to let it ride because it was generating hype among the fans that was good for business. Rumblings around the office say it's only going to piss people off when they find out it's really just a routine server migration and balancing update.
