London to get coffee and Blowjob cafe

[Zio_IV]

More power to them. As long as they can deliver on proper plans to tackle the medical hurdles this sort of thing provides, I see nothing wrong with this. The whole thing actually has me more curious whether the tables are just regular ones with lots of space, or ones built specifically for the task in mind. If you're planning to make a chain out of this, may as well get in on the ground floor for some proprietary BJ Tables. B Jables? Beejables? Oral Sex-Facilitating Planar Suspension Units? Eh, whatever.

That Idiocracy insert was a nice touch though. Very fitting.

 

[Imperioratorex Caprae]

So GTA London got a Hot Latte mod? Nice. Strange, but nice.

 

[bastardofmelbourne]

Yah... trying to hold a conversation with a friend (They say they picked a coffee place because it's social, so you're supposed to bring a friend) and drink coffee and have a pastry while some woman slobs your knob in public under the table... I'm sure that's someones fetish, but it just sounds like an expensive way to have an awkward moment with both acquaintances and strangers. And a good way to see some facial expressions on a good friends face that you probably could have gone a life time without seeing.

I don't think they'd literally do it under the table. There would be booths. At the very least, a courtesy curtain.

My concern is what's going on with my bladder. If I get up and have a coffee in the morning, I need to pee about ten minutes later, every time, on the dot.

I'm pretty sure this would upset the poor lady under the table a great deal.

 

[008Zulu_v1legacy]

My concern is what's going on with my bladder. If I get up and have a coffee in the morning, I need to pee about ten minutes later, every time, on the dot.

I'm pretty sure this would upset the poor lady under the table a great deal.

I'm sure they'll just charge extra.

OT; The business model on a whole is a pretty good sounding idea to me (then again, I'm not in a country that seems to stigmatize sex). I wonder if legal brothels will now have their own coffee bar set up in the lobby.

 

[CaptainMarvelous]

Because the one thing you desperately want when hiring a prostitute is an adequately made Latte to go with it.

For that matter, who makes the coffee? Is it the prostitutes? Is there a whole separate Barista tier in this business plan? Seriously, I have so many questions and yet desire no answers...

 

[lionsprey]

call me old fashioned but if i'm having a drink in a coffee shop then i'm there for the drink. and if i'm getting a blowjob my first idea to improve it wouldn't be drinking a hot beverage. this sounds like the kind of thing a couple of drunk guys would do for a laugh.

 

[Dr. Thrax]

I don't think they'd literally do it under the table. There would be booths. At the very least, a courtesy curtain.

The owner said that it'll be "a cafe like others plus two booths for the shy people".
So it sounds like it's gonna have to be a rather open floor plan, with small tables off to the side of chairs, rather than sitting with your legs under a table.

 

[SweetShark]

Ok, seriously,how they can do this?
Each costumer will have a private room or it will be a massive close room with all cum and agony,

 

[Fallow]

The biggest problem is how do I convince the girlfriend that I'm really just going for the great coffee?

 

[DefunctTheory]

Because the one thing you desperately want when hiring a prostitute is an adequately made Latte to go with it.

For that matter, who makes the coffee? Is it the prostitutes? Is there a whole separate Barista tier in this business plan? Seriously, I have so many questions and yet desire no answers...

They have baristas and waitresses who will not perform sex acts doing the coffee bit.

I don't think they'd literally do it under the table. There would be booths. At the very least, a courtesy curtain.

As another user said, it will be mostly open floor.

Contrary to what the article seems to imply, this is not a new concept. There are places like this all over the world, a lot of which are actually full blown restaurants, and they all have the same type of floor plan - Just like any other business, just more table space to fit the hooker. And usually a long table cloth, so people can't see your dick.

 

[Zhukov]

Heh. Okay.

This seems like a recipe for some really, really unfortunate coffee burns.

 

[happyninja42]

I'd be slightly suspicious of the milk in that place. Also how is this legal and when can I visit? Although I can't imagine myself ordering a latte, a danish and the blonde.

Just thought of a bad potential marketing pun a discounted latte and BJ could be a Fellate.

Well since you went there, I'll entertain you with these lovely clips.

Spoiler: 3 Youtube clips

 

[MonsterCrit]

Well now.... Me thinks this could be the next STarbucks

 

[The Jovian]

Da fuck?!

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...

...

Steve can you give me a hand please I seem to have lost my ability to articulate my opinion.


Yeah I figured you wouldn't want to talk about it either.

Just... What?

What?

HOW!?

WHY?!

Why would anyone go to a coffee shop to get a blowjob!? Even taking individual opinions on sex out of it I don't see a lot of people who would be down with... whatever the fuck were gonna call this establishment. Seriously just imagine walking in and up to the cashier and saying with a straight face "one latte and a blo-oh fuck it I can't even type with with a straight face.

 

[RJ 17]

London's coming up in the world, baby. I love that sign in the embedded video:

Latte: $200
'Hot' Latte: $2,000
'Full Body' Latte: $50,000

I am excited to see the tactics employed to try and stop this.

I've always said that Idiocracy is both one of the funniest movies I've ever seen and one of the most terrifying movies I've ever seen. Terrifying because I can honestly see the future ending up like that...this article stands as a "warning sign" that we're still heading down that road.

 

[Addendum_Forthcoming]

I'm more interested in hearing about what they are gonna offer these sex workers. 401k? Health? Dental?

It's the UK ... they've never heard of dental.

In all seriousness, sex workers in the UK have pension support, and everybody has socialized medicine.

 

[Barbas]

OWMYBALLS

I've always said that Idiocracy is both one of the funniest movies I've ever seen and one of the most terrifying movies I've ever seen. Terrifying because I can honestly see the future ending up like that...this article stands as a "warning sign" that we're still heading down that road.

The latter is why the director thinks FOX chose to stop airing it.

 

[RJ 17]

OWMYBALLS

Brawndo's got what plants crave! It's got ELECTROLYTES!

The latter is why the director thinks FOX chose to stop airing it.

Makes sense to me, though I'd say they should air it even more as a desperate call to action. "This is where we're heading! IT MUST BE STOPPED!!!"

Considering the way this election cycle has turned out, I fear we're already far too late.

 

[DudeistBelieve]

I'm more interested in hearing about what they are gonna offer these sex workers. 401k? Health? Dental?

It's the UK ... they've never heard of dental.

In all seriousness, sex workers in the UK have pension support, and everybody has socialized medicine.

I forget my country is like the last 1st world nation that still charges people for health care.

This fucking world man, I swear.

 

[FPLOON]

This sounds like a place I would gladly work for... even if don't [personally] like coffee... *blinks* What?

Other than that, how much would it cost to just put the sperm back into my [ordered] coffee cake?