As a 28m, I am seeing my peers moving on with their lives. Finding their career job, being in a happy relationship, getting married, or having kids. I see how excited they are about where they are and how happy they look.
Meanwhile, I am working at a retail hating every minute of it, making just above min wage, and still living with my parents. I love them for being patient with me and hoping for me to move on with my life as well, but I just don't see the opportunity happening.
I do have an undergrad degree, which was supposed to get me in a data science field, but due to how weird the program was, and how the pandemic rid of my chance of finding an internship, I never had proper training/experience. This leads to me being ignored by recruiters, even the ones that are supposed to be "entry-level" and how training will be provided. I will continue to try to find a career job, but I don't fill out the application out of hope. It's more or less a monotonous part of the day, like brushing my teeth.
Playing games or any leisurely activities don't necessarily make me feel any better. They do provide a brief entertainment, but as soon as they are done I go back to doubting myself as to whether I can find meaning in life anymore. I don't quite put myself as being depressed or suicidal, because I don't have the courage to enter that stage or even off myself.
I used to be an outgoing, positive, talkative person to be around. But because how mundane and uneventful my life is, the only solution that I unconsciously found was to stop talking or keep it to a minimum during in-person meetings, and to cut contact with everyone. Now when I attend meetings or get-togethers I'm that quiet guy in the corner of the table. And I only go to mandatory ones. Because I am so distant, no one really hits me up for hiking trips, parties, or any fun group activities. I struggle to find a good relationship, whether romantic or camaraderie.
I keep thinking if I just had that "one thing or two" my life might be a lot better, but those things aren't happening. And even if they were to happen, I feel like I would be just as miserable
Meanwhile, I am working at a retail hating every minute of it, making just above min wage, and still living with my parents. I love them for being patient with me and hoping for me to move on with my life as well, but I just don't see the opportunity happening.
I do have an undergrad degree, which was supposed to get me in a data science field, but due to how weird the program was, and how the pandemic rid of my chance of finding an internship, I never had proper training/experience. This leads to me being ignored by recruiters, even the ones that are supposed to be "entry-level" and how training will be provided. I will continue to try to find a career job, but I don't fill out the application out of hope. It's more or less a monotonous part of the day, like brushing my teeth.
Playing games or any leisurely activities don't necessarily make me feel any better. They do provide a brief entertainment, but as soon as they are done I go back to doubting myself as to whether I can find meaning in life anymore. I don't quite put myself as being depressed or suicidal, because I don't have the courage to enter that stage or even off myself.
I used to be an outgoing, positive, talkative person to be around. But because how mundane and uneventful my life is, the only solution that I unconsciously found was to stop talking or keep it to a minimum during in-person meetings, and to cut contact with everyone. Now when I attend meetings or get-togethers I'm that quiet guy in the corner of the table. And I only go to mandatory ones. Because I am so distant, no one really hits me up for hiking trips, parties, or any fun group activities. I struggle to find a good relationship, whether romantic or camaraderie.
I keep thinking if I just had that "one thing or two" my life might be a lot better, but those things aren't happening. And even if they were to happen, I feel like I would be just as miserable
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