Mall Fight - Back To Basics (Open)

[ShindoL Shill]

I bring in a load of pillows and make a comfy floor. "I have a cunning plan." I say.
I cut the bottom out of one of my mattresses, and put the hole over a line of baseballs.
"It's simple, Jim. You push this forward, and then I stab whoever is shooting at us with this!" I explain, taking out my rake.

 

[DJ_DEnM]

"...Where did you get that rake from? Nevermind." I grab the mattress and prepare to advance. "On your mark."

 

[ShindoL Shill]

"Gardening supplies. PUSH!" I reply, crouching behind the mattress.

 

[DJ_DEnM]

I push, charging towards the sports shop.

 

[ShindoL Shill]

I stab Eric in the eyes as we pass him, and then switch off the machines.
"Now, back to Fort Mattress!"

 

[DJ_DEnM]

I hurry back to the fort with the mattress and get there before you, closing you off. "Before I let you in, you must fight...my greatest warrior!" I throw a pillow at you. "Fight!".

 

[ShindoL Shill]

I lance the pillow.
"'kay. Done." I say.

 

[DJ_DEnM]

I open the door to the fort. "Welcome...again! What brings you here?"

 

[ShindoL Shill]

"Well, I need somewhere to hang and nap." I say, walking into the fort. "Also, I declared myself Baron von Hattington, so I need a place to do baron things from."

 

[Knife-28]

I run inside 'Big Bob's Book Bash' (Which is conviniently located next to the 2nd Hand Sport Supply shop and across from the matress store) and build myslef a book fort.

 

[DJ_DEnM]

"There's not much to do here, but I guess you can stay. Do you know where I can find stuff to reinforce the fort with?"

 

[Knife-28]

Knife mounts the battlements of his bookfort, and calls it's twin in the martess store. "Hello, anyone there?"

 

[ShindoL Shill]

I peer out of the mattress bunker. "Yes, there's someone here. And another someone. Two someones." I reply.

 

[Demonjazz]

"hhm I claim this land to polar bears" start shooting armoured polar bears

 

[DJ_DEnM]

"I'm that other someone!"

 

[ShindoL Shill]

"FREEDOM!" I yell, then stab myself in the brain.
I spawn inside the polar bear and punch my way out of it.
"Fuck yeah." I say. Then I pick up the polar bear, commit suicide and respawn in Fort Mattress.
"Fuck yeah."

 

[DJ_DEnM]

"...Welcome back. Do you know where I can get materials to reinforce the fort?"

 

[Knife-28]

I look at the disimbowled polar bear in front of my fort, then the mattress fort. "Of course you realise this means war." I say, before descending from the battlements and readying the book catapult.

 

[ShindoL Shill]

I put on the bear corpse and do a dance. "Heh. Imma bear." I chuckle.

 

[Knife-28]

I launch a book over the battlements, hitting Trilby in the face. "Now is the TWILIGHT of you discontent!" I yell, before pelting him with more sparkly vampire fiction.