Man Hospitalized After Zelda Sword Stabbing

[Combustion Kevin]

wait, a replica master sword that doesnt fall apart under the slightest pressure or stress? they're usually pretty flimsy.

 

[Evil Smurf]

wait, a replica master sword that doesnt fall apart under the slightest pressure or stress? they're usually pretty flimsy.

A hell of a lot better than the Deku Sticks though.

 

[Exterminas]

I guess you could call that a Texas Master Sword Massacre.

 

[Ephidel]

Now, obviously we don't want to make light of what was likely a scary situation, especially since Thompson's girlfriend's husband was in critical condition after the fight was broken up. That said, the assailant should probably consider himself lucky it was just the Master Sword. If it had been the <a href=http://zeldawiki.org/Biggoron%27s_Sword>Biggoron Sword he'd probably be dead.

Am I the only person who thinks this is like the best joke ever? There's a sneaking suspicion that this entire story was probably orchestrated by a higher power for that fucking joke to be stated.

Ah, but the Eyeball Frog went off before he could get to Death Mountain, so he was stuck with his regular Master Sword.

He probably should've equipped a Gibdo Mask and started making noises like Tingle. That would've scared the shit out of the other guy.

 

[Vareoth]

"He just walked right into the point of the sword, I don't know if he thought it was a toy."

Yea right. And those other stab wounds probably were accidents as well.

Anyway, my little brother has a replica master sword as well. Perhaps I should buy a suit of armor just to be safe.

 

[Hero of Lime]

According to this story, the girlfriend seems to have her estranged husband on speed dial to call in for whatever? Gee, that always ends well. -_-

Anyway, it's kinda funny, if someone got into my house and was a threat to me in someway, the story would go down literally the same way. "Guy uses Master Sword replica on intruder." XD

Considering no one got killed, I think this is a story we can have a good laugh with. Plus, a pot being involved makes it sound like it was more than a coincidence. Good thinking too, pots are usually stronger than the first sword in Zelda games, pretty clever.

 

[Phuctifyno]

After the initial stabbing the husband left the house and Thompson locked the door. Unwilling to actually leave however the husband broke through the front door and the fight continued. According to police deputies the two brawled over the sword resulting in several more stab wounds for the assailant.

That's what the spin-attack is for, dude.

 

[Isra]

wait, a replica master sword that doesnt fall apart under the slightest pressure or stress? they're usually pretty flimsy.

A hell of a lot better than the Deku Sticks though.

Hey, people have been killing each other with replica Deku Sticks for thousands of years.

 

[DkLnBr]

The fact that he got hit with a flower pot is fucking perfect.

You go, guy. Seriously.

HA, oh man you made me actually, legitimately "Lol". I really shouldnt read these in class.

But this is a great story, that guy defiantly had the triforce of courage to stand up to that guy. But since his girlfriend invited her ex husband over, I cant say that she had the triforce of wisdom.

 

[TheMadDoctorsCat]

This girl must've been a real princess...

Yeah... I had another hilarious quip after that one, but I lost it. Maybe I'll come up with it again two weeks after the thread has been locked!

 

[michael87cn]

*grins* I imagined an annoyed Navi bounding around above their heads as they battled, shouting, "Hey! Listen!!!"

 

[TakerFoxx]

No one died? Cool, no one died. Jokes are now A-okay.

I can't help but wonder if the ex started hurling things at Thompson, prompting him to try to knock them back.

 

[tangoprime]

As someone who lives less than 30 miles from where this happened, I have to say, this is a lot more entertaining then the standard "home invader shot by armed homeowner" or "robbery foiled by handgun wielding customer/employee/owner" we hear constantly. You'd think people around here would just learn that it's a bad fucking idea to be a criminal in this state. Now we have people using fantasy swords on intruders whilst dodging flowerpots.

This better be damn well followed up by a story about a Houston area single mother defending her child and puppy from home invaders using a hadouken!

 

[Zombie_Moogle]

Now we wait. Wait until some news network uses this as a way to say "video games are bad", since the guy was "wielding" a replica sword from a video game.

Nah, won't happen.
Terrified of pretend violence as America is, it absolutely adores actual violence

You'd basically be putting Fox News in an argument of Vid-ya-games are the debil vs Castle Doctrine, & I'm fairly certain they're contractually obligated to not bring attention to their cognitive dissonance