Masturbation is evil, sex is wrong, and you are gay: A facebook story.

[Gaijinko]

If masturbation is evil then oh god, all the monkeys are going to hell, especially the Bonobos.

 

[Bara_no_Hime]

Okay, So I was on twitter and someone had linked to this facebook page, It's about how masturbation is evil and all that bullshit. I had a look to see if they were real.

Are you SURE this is real?

That conversation you posted didn't sound real - it sounded parody.

I mean, I really, really hope that person is joking. Because... wow.

 

[Something Amyss]

You know, that all kinda looks like something Jim Sterling would say if he was having a laugh.

"It's like Karate for perverts."

Yeah, I'm... having a hard time taking it seriously, even if it somehow is serious. XD

And if it is serious, when do I get my black belt in masturbation? Seriously!

 

[Something Amyss]

Gave me a good laugh
It must be trolling, but not surprised if not. There are all kinds of crazy people out there after all.

Check this out for exemple: ChildCare Action Project, making movie reviews from a christian perspective to see if films are too immoral to let your children watch. There are several Disney movies on there with pretty low scores. LOL

http://www.capalert.com/

Don't know how to insert links propely, sorry.

I'm not sure about trolling. It might just be satire. People get pissed off at even some pretty obvious satire.

"Masterbation is a same-sex sex act"

NOT IF YOU'RE GENDER-FLUID, SUCKAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAS!

And does that mean that fantasy about someone else makes it a threesome?

Sorry OP, but it's a joke page. "The internets"? "Taxes and online Bible studies?"

Especially since it's a well-established fact that taxes are a gateway act to masturbation.

And you know who else paid taxes? Hitler. Therefore, Hitler masturbated. Therefore, masturbation clearly leads to world conquest.

 

[shrekfan246]

You know, that all kinda looks like something Jim Sterling would say if he was having a laugh.

"It's like Karate for perverts."

Yeah, I'm... having a hard time taking it seriously, even if it somehow is serious. XD

And if it is serious, when do I get my black belt in masturbation? Seriously!

The training regiment must be very hard. I'll bet the competition is stiff, too. I mean, you can't be giving those out willy-nilly to everyone who's pet the cat or walked the dog!

 

[thedragon232]

My jaw hurts so much from reading this.

 

[Ratty]

Looks like it's a joke page. But hey you should still post on there, to let anyone looking who might actually believe their premise, that National Masturbation Month and Masturbation Day are right around the corner. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/National_Masturbation_Day Celebrations promoting the potential health benefits of masturbation. Which are mostly related to a decrease in stress levels, which should be good for your heart if nothing else.

 

[Something Amyss]

The training regiment must be very hard. I'll bet the competition is stiff, too. I mean, you can't be giving those out willy-nilly to everyone who's pet the cat or walked the dog!

Yeah, but I'm a very dedicated practitioner with decades of experience below the...I mean, under my belt. I have studied the form quite attentively over the years, and kept up a rather rigid training regimen. I think I could hold my own with the experts.

 

[Th37thTrump3t]

But yeah, this is either hilariously ignorant people being hilariously ignorant, or Jim Sterling has another online persona just so he can giggle maniacally.

I vote the latter.

OT: I wonder how long it would take Reddit to find this chick's address (assuming she's not just some troll) so I could buy her a subscription to Hustler and send her a box of tissues and some Avon lotion. Shit would be fucking hilarious! XD

 

[Kathinka]

point 5 was kinda hot actually..
are we sure this isn't satire btw?

 

[Evil Smurf]

Okay, So I was on twitter and someone had linked to this facebook page, It's about how masturbation is evil and all that bullshit. I had a look to see if they were real.

Are you SURE this is real?

That conversation you posted didn't sound real - it sounded parody.

I mean, I really, really hope that person is joking. Because... wow.

I know people who think like this, even it is trolling, someone finds it truthful.

 

[TheRookie8]

Here's the thing: The topic may be a ruse, or it may be genuine. Whatever the case, there is something among the paranoia and general stupidity.

Sex isn't evil. Masturbation isn't evil...but there is a saying: Moderation in all things. Performing acts of sex and self-gratification is hedonistic in practice...but it's also a fundamental part of humanity. The trick is not to get carried away...and sadly many sinister behaviors and acts find their roots in sex, thus perverting a very natural concept.

To keep it spiritual, people need to master themselves. There are some cases where abstaining from sex and sex-related practices can allow a channeling of energies towards other pursuits. Masturbation and sex can become an awkward compulsion for some...so don't make it awkward.

 

[Zanderinfal]

This reminds me of the "Christian Moms Against Slipknot" page I saw a while back. I want to say this is a troll page, but the fact people are using their own accounts makes it seem like that actually want to be associated with being against rubbing one out.

Also, if you haven't seen the Moms Against Slipknot page, go have a look at it, one of the funniest troll pages I've ever seen.