Metroid Film...by Uwe Boll starring... Jessica simpson

[Akalistos]

Metroid has been attempted as a movie half a dozen times, and Nintendo has sworn they will make no more movies.

You've been punk'd, sir.

yeah, but ninento likes the amount of FABULOUS MONEY they get from the people who buy the same thing 3 times.

edit: so the chances of it being real are the same to fake in my opinion

There are no chances. It's fake.

Live-action movie

In 2003, two producers optioned the rights to create a movie based on Metroid, but the rights expired. John Woo reacquired the rights a few years later, and Lion Rock Productions was to produce and release the film before 2006, but it either has been canceled or remains in development hell. On April 1, 2005, IGN posted an April Fool's Day article reporting critically panned director Uwe Boll would be directing the Metroid movie, with Samus being portrayed by Michelle Rodriguez, who stated the Nintendo GameCube is for kids. In 2010, IGN posted an article about potential video game movies and their current status. Metroid was marked as "Dormant." They stated that the last time that the movie was mentioned was in 2004 and that the movie was likely canceled.

Maybe, but you can't denied the uncanny ability "Shitty" Boll has to get videogame licenses. He still trying to get Metal Gears Solid right. Even if the movie bomb, he make money.

The question is: I we stop watching Boll flick, can the studio that finance him get the hint?

 

[Frozen Donkey Wheel2]

Metroid Film: YESSSS

Wait...Seriously? Do you actually think that anyone could make a good movie about Metroid? Really? You do realize that being incompatible with films is not necessarily a bad thing when it comes to games, right? That is to say, you're allowed to admit that any Metroid film would be horrible, Uwe Boll or not, without insulting your beloved franchise.

Just saying. No one could ever make a good movie about Metroid. Ever.

Alan Moore once said you counldn't make a good Watchmen movie. And yet, there it is. I think it could work if you tweak it a bit and play with the 'Samus is a girl' plot twist.

Not that I'm condoning this. Uwe Boll should never make a movie, ever.

"Watchmen" has a plot that doesn't revolve around collecting powerups. And characters that speak.

 

[metalhead467]

Luckily, also Do Not Believe.

[sub][sub]pleasebefakepleasebefakepleasebefakepleasebefake[/sub][/sub]

 

[Eclectic Dreck]

I can't wait to see it. Uwe Boll's movies never fail to entertain. Not in the way they intended to I expect.

 

[Blackvegie]

Everybody is focusing on the negative so for a change of pace i'm going to focus on the positive:

This is going the greatest movie ever! Maybe Uwe Boll has matured as a filmmaker and delivers an action packed, thought provoking, Sci-Fi epic. Maybe Jessica Alba adds a layer of depth to Samus Aran creating one of the most compelling characters in cinema history.

Maybe.

Obvious troll is obvious. If it was Jessica ALBA and not SIMPSON I wouldn't mind watching, but the bit about Boll creating a thought-provoking epic is about as realistic as any of Boll's movies winning any form of accolade [ apart from a Razzie ]


and krion's right, Nintendo, like Blizzard, aren't going to be so bloody stupid to put a highly regarded franchise in Uwe Boll's grimy disgusting hands.

I was aiming for sarcasm (apparently I failed). I think that his is a terrible idea as much as anybody else. As for Jessica Alba...Whoops.

 

[Not-here-anymore]

I was going to vomit across the internet, then realised that I could take the much easier response of not watching the film. Although this doesn't save me from any advertising etc...

 

[Nukey]

But...It's....Why?

Can I get a hug, please? I'm scared.

OT: This isn't going to work well.

 

[Jast]

This calls for a face-palm.

 

[Worgen]

sounds like the bullest of shit to me

 

[Varanfan9]

NO! NOT METROID! At least not Uwe Boll. Sure his movies are fun to watch buts thats only because they are so bad they are funny. But not freaking Metroid man.

 

[Enigmers]

This guy is a troll on a level that I can't even begin to comprehend.

 

[coldshadow]

uwe boll.... WHY IS HE STILL DOING THIS! its like he is trying to kill all the good names of the video game world. this is just getting sad.

 

[Doctor VonSexMachine]

I felt a disturbance in the force, like a thousand nerds all crying out with rage, and then were suddenly silenced.

 

[_Cake_]

Can't be any worse then what Nintendo has been doing to Samus lately. It's all been down hill from the conception of the zero suite. Stop trying to whore her out, she's not a sexpot she's a badass V_V

 

[Snotnarok]

.......ARHHHHHHHGGHHHH!!!!!!!

I think my head just exploded I want to kill both of these people to prevent it from happening.

I think Nintendo is cursed to have shitty movies made after their stuff. Forever.

 

[Small Waves]

Despite Nintendo re-releasing that game about 20 times to make embarrassing amounts of money from their fans

Yes Metroid Prime was exactly like Super Metroid which was exactly like the NES Metroid.

Oh wait

 

[metalhead467]

Can't be any worse then what Nintendo has been doing to Samus lately. It's all been down hill from the conception of the zero suite. Stop trying to whore her out, she's not a sexpot she's a badass V_V

Because the bikini she was wearing in the very first game was so much more modest than the zero suit.

 

[Poofs]

can someone assassinate Uwe Boll already
hes worse than goddamn Jack Thompson

 

[AtomicKirb]

Well now. If one thing history has taught us is that any movie based off of a video game will be HORRIBLE.

 

[Julianking93]

Oh Jesus christ no...Please oh gods that may exist don't let this be so!!