Metroid Film...by Uwe Boll starring... Jessica simpson

[Redlin5_v1legacy]

Must Hollywood ruin everything I love? Everything?

Leave video games alone already, they make for horrible movies.

Remember the Mario Bros movie?

...I think I just threw up a little in my mouth from actually referencing that pile of sh*t...

 

[Caligulove]

Video game films just seem... pointless.

The case has been made by many, many individuals and gaming-writers all around, So theres no need to elaborate on that
But we all know that if there is a need for these video game films, Uwe Boll is the last man to consider

 

[Daniel_Rosamilia]

NEIN NEIN NEIN NEIN NEIN NEIN NEIN NEIN NEIN!

Looking for this clip?

But my honest opinion is a mix of sorrow for Nintendo for having this pile of shit thrown at them, hatred of Uwe Boll for destroying a good series, and just sheer confusement at whoever let this idea go ahead.

 

[FallenJellyDoughnut]

Metroid has been attempted as a movie half a dozen times, and Nintendo has sworn they will make no more movies.

You've been punk'd, sir.

This is what I believe, because no matter how shit a movie can get, if this were to be made then the fabric of time and space would be unravelled by how incredibly and utterly shit this movie would be.

 

[Tourette]

I thought Uwe Boll was executed for his crimes against humanity
Maybe it was a dream but he should be imho.
As for Jessica Simpson, mmmmmmmm, maybe exile would be sufficient.

 

[Infernai]

..Why make a metroid movie? More to the point, why does Uwe Boll still exist?

 

[Pegghead]

If this movie is ever made I will build a Dalek war suit and end the world with it.

I think I'll have to join you in a cyberman suit.

 

[Lord Krunk]

Metroid Film: YESSSS

Wait...Seriously? Do you actually think that anyone could make a good movie about Metroid? Really? You do realize that being incompatible with films is not necessarily a bad thing when it comes to games, right? That is to say, you're allowed to admit that any Metroid film would be horrible, Uwe Boll or not, without insulting your beloved franchise.

Just saying. No one could ever make a good movie about Metroid. Ever.

Alan Moore once said you counldn't make a good Watchmen movie. And yet, there it is. I think it could work if you tweak it a bit and play with the 'Samus is a girl' plot twist.

Not that I'm condoning this. Uwe Boll should never make a movie, ever.

"Watchmen" has a plot that doesn't revolve around collecting powerups. And characters that speak.

I know, although the 'collecting powerups' schtick can be easily avoided. I'm thinking more along the lines of a spin-off, applying more cinema-worthy characters in a situation similar to Samus'. I know, don't hold your breath, but I still think with the right tweaks it could work quite well.

 

[Gavmando]

Hey, look on the bright side. Maybe this will shove Jessica in the direction of a treadmill so she can go back to looking half way decent.
Remember kids, stay positive!

 

[Enigma6667]

NINTENDO franchise

I remember reading an article about WHY Nintendo hasn't had one of their games made into a movie yet. They are VERY VERY Protective. I highly doubt they would give Uwe Boll the okay to have one of their children and make it into a grotesque monster. I also remember that they said something like they aren't putting making a movie out of one of their games is bad they just want the right guy to come along and I HIGHLY HIGHLY doubt they would let Uwe Boll have at it and make it into a disgusting piece of fecal matter.

Well, wasn't the Super Mario Bros. movie already made? That's a movie made of one of their franchises. And it was also a grotesque monster.

 

[BehattedWanderer]

Nintendo letting them make a movie out of one of their properties? I say only:

No way would Nintendo let this happen. I call bullshit.

Seconded.

...Actually, I'll go ahead and say a tad bit more: if a Metroid movie were to actually emerge from the depths of cinema hell, I would much prefer someone with a bit of a soul to act as our bold heroine. Say...Kristen Bell, perhaps? In her darker moments she would give the right vibes. As for a director...not sure. Not Boll, that's for certain.

 

[Sebenko]

Nintendo, how about leveraging some of that corporate power? you won't get any money if the movie is released.

Will someone explain to me which fuckwit in the German government keeps giving him money?

 

[Queen Michael]

I shall now report my feelings on this subject.
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!
Those are my feelings on this subject.

 

[Entropyutd]

http://thefilmstage.com/2010/06/08/uwe-boll-jessica-simpson-and-metroid-a-recipe-for-disaster/

oh it hurts so bad below is the copy and paste of the article

"What do you get when you mix Jessica Simpson with Uwe Boll and the Metroid video game series? It sure sounds like a disaster to me. JoBlo is reporting that Uwe Boll is going to direct a film based on the Metroid video game series. Yea, I know what you?re thinking, it gets worse though. Set to star as our heroine Samus is none other than Jessica Simpson.

This is worse than the Kim Kardashian as Tomb Raider story we reported earlier. Seriously, what is wrong with Hollywood? Not only have they run completely dry of original ideas, that?s a whole different story, but if this is true?.honestly what is there to say?

Video game to film adaptions usually turn out bad even when they have a good cast and director. Imagine a video game to film adaption with Uwe Boll and Jessica Simpson *shudders*. I hope this is not true. I?d hate to see them ruin a great franchise like Metroid with this film.

Is there any good to come from a project like this?"

i would like to add this from someone who linked it down below

http://movies.ign.com/articles/109/1095682p1.html

because people apparently said the first link seemed to be a joke

I don't like the game personally, but not even Daikatana deserves this.

 

[dududf]

 

[Sovvolf]

My reaction...
Though I can't see this being true... if it is... is it only Kojima and Blizzard who have any common sense these days. I mean they laughed their arses off when he asked... that's what your supposed to do... why aren't the other game devs getting this?.

Edit:

Spoiler: Click here and press all the movies at once to get the overall community reaction

 

[Nova5]

Do you hear that? It's the sound of a ten-thousand chimps shitting.

 

[Iron Lightning]

Yeah... I'm fairly sure there are no producers stupid enough to fund yet another Uwe Boll movie.