Moar Food!: Faux Pas that drive you crazy.

[The Artificially Prolonged]

Use mayonnaise sparingly. I've had too many nice sandwiches are ruined by too much mayo.

Don't care I'mma say it.

Hawaiian pizza.

It's just...

You don't put fruit on pizza.

'Well, technically, tomato is a fru-' You shut the hell up! It's not the same thing! You shut your goddamn heathen mouth before the food gods close it for you.

Damn straight anyone having Hawaiian pizza should be politely asked to leave the table. But then most of my friends are the boring kind who will only have cheese pizza with no toppings. I cannot decide which one is a worse crime against pizza.

 

[RaphaelsRedemption]

I hate when you cook a meal, a good meal, and you serve it to friends. It's perfect, seasoned just so with salt and pepper and all those good things.

And then those friends take sauces and spices and shit and pour it all over your hard-cooked food, without even tasting first! Ok, it's understandable if you try a meal and decide you personally need a little more salt or whatever. But seasoning before tasting? How stupid and rude is that?

My favourite related story is one where a friend of mine would always put hot chilli sauce on his savoury food. Didn't really matter what - curry, roast, stew, sandwiches - he'd drench them all in this filth. So one day I cooked curry. Regular curry for myself and everyone else, and rather... special curry for him. That is, ball-tearingly hot. And I served it to him, and I put that chilli sauce next to his plate.

And I watched the ensuing fireworks. Best meal of my life.

 

[Zeren]

I watched a childhood friend of mine by the name of Jason put ketchup on his fruitloops instead of milk.

 

[Generalissimo]

when i buy a ham and cheese sandwich from a corner shop. ALL I WANT IS HAM AND CHEESE, NOT CUCUMBER, NOT MAYONNAISE, AND CERTAINLY NOT PICKLES.

basically, it gets my goat every time when a shop fails to mention ingredients in a pre-packed sandwich, its not hard guys. a few extra words, that's all.

 

[ohnoitsabear]

My mom has seen somebody at a nice restaurant order prime rib well done with steak sauce.

No. Just, no.

 

[DustyLion]

Go to a high price steak house. Ask the waiter for A1.

 

[TeletubbiesGolfGun]

meh depending on where you are from, some of my friends are horrified when i use A1 steak sauce on a steak...(seriously, that sauce is my life force, i could drink it straight from the bottle)

also one that people have found strange, whenever i eat chicken parmesan or lasagna, i put it on a piece of white bread and stick another piece of white bread on top to make a chicken parmesan sandwich!


fucking delicious, which is odd because i fucking hate plain chicken sandwiches.

 

[Flames66]

Not too many ways you can fuck up canned corn.

I die a little when I see people putting sugar in coffee though.

Ah ha, a good opportunity to complete my assassination mission. I like my coffee as follows:

1. Half fill cup with milk and 2 teaspoons (Roughly) coffee powder
2. Add a teaspoon of chocolate powder and wisk
3. Microwave for three minutes
4. Add two to three teaspoons of honey
5. Stir
6. Fill the rest of the cup with hot water, wait to be cool enough to drink

OT: I generally don't care how other people have their food and I have seen quite a few things on this list that I like to do. The only think that I can think of that annoys me is my Grandmother putting salt and pepper on absolutely everything (salad, sandwich, steak, roast) even if it is already seasoned. She refers to it as "the taste".

 

[MintberryCrunch]

Bacon on EVERYTHING. I hate the whole damn bacon fad, I'm glad it's on its way out. Stop slowly killing yourself because the internet told you to.

THANKYOU, someone on the Internet who isn't obsessed with bacon!
My God it is just the most average piece of meat that exists. I'll eat it, but the bacon meme/fad almost made me start to really dislike it, especially with all my friends over-zealously arguing with me when I say bacon is 'just OK'.

 

[Kyrinn]

Ketchup on hotdogs/sausages. I don't care if pretty much everyone does it IT'S WRONG AND YOU SHOULD FEEL BAD IF YOU DO IT.
No I'm not crazy *twitch*

Also whenever I hear someone ask for their steak as anything above medium, especially if I'm the one grilling them.

 

[Headdrivehardscrew]

There are plenty of these, but the one food sin that drives me stark raving, frothing, spitting, biting mad is this:

People who always manage to serve meat as grey, rubbery or dry leathery bits no matter what. You don't kill an animal to then torture people with its remains or make them sick. It's just totally inacceptable.

It's one thing when people at home do it wrong... sometimes you can lend a helping hand, suggest the little tweaks (pan/oil/heat/time/handling...) that make a difference and keep them from ruining the food and annoying people with their ignorance.

Another, even less acceptable thing is when you actually go out and pay for food that's supposed to be good... and then the meat that's supposed to have some nice Maillard brown going is just plain white, grey, black or an amazing, physics-defying mix of them all.

Case in point: Just last Saturday, after a longish night out, a little hunger set in before we were home... so, an otherwise good and well respected friend suggested we go get us some kabob/gyros meat-in-a-bun thing. I liked the idea, so we went for it. Turns out those best-ever meat buns consisted of near-raw meat cuttings, spongy, soggy buns without any taste whatsoever, some nice fresh salad with no seasonings and a yogurt sauce that tasted a wee bit like cum. Not a fan.

 

[Canadian Rob]

Oh good lord I have so many of these it isn't funny, I work as a cook.

Spices, there is a fad right now where everything, EVERYTHING has some amount of hot spice in it. Maybe there's peppers with it, or you have a spice mix made of cayenne and paprika, or you serve it drizzled with sriracha. It's awful. Almost every item at my restaurant (I'd say around 80 to 90 percent) is over spiced. I want you to taste what you are eating, not just the heat. What's more, one over spiced item will rob you of the ability to taste anything else

Mayonnaise on burgers. It gets snuck onto a sandwich without telling the customer, and they just assume you should know it comes with mayo.

Canned veggies. Especially canned green beans. They disgust me, they taste awful, and I hate people who prefer canned veggies over fresh. It means that you have been so exposed to bad food that you have accepted them as the norm.

Picky Children. You won't eat your food if it is touching. You won't eat anything but macaroni and cheese. You won't eat a sandwich unless it is cut into quarters diagonally. GODS I HATE CHILDREN! I hate parents that put up with that shit too.

Over cooked steak. I don't mean when a steak gets over cooked by accident, when someone requests an extra well done steak. They want all the goodness cooked out of the meat. I realize that everyone doesn't like steak the way I do (Rare to medium rare), but don't go ruining a perfectly good cut of meat like that!

Hawaiian pizza. I swear, it has a couple of truly devoted fans, and the rest of us hate it.

My brother used to put mustard on everything. Yellow mustard.

Calling anything Kobe Beef. If you don't live in Japan, and you aren't disgustingly rich, you don't have Kobe beef.

Anyone pretending they know about food because they watch the food network. It just makes me sad.

 

[AnarchistFish]

Ketchup on pasta. ughhhuh

I am guilty of mixing mayonnaise into rice though, which some people might find weird. And I sometimes like creating conflicting tastes of sweet and sour.

 

[Headdrivehardscrew]

Not too many ways you can fuck up canned corn.

I die a little when I see people putting sugar in coffee though.

Poor me, I've seen canned corn well messed up down at the Pizza Hut. It was just... wrong. Dead broccoli and spongy corn on a rather fatty slice of pizza. It's just all kinds of wrong.

Don't agree with the coffee thing, though. The bouquet of flavours coming from a nice cup of coffee does have to mainly come from proper coffee, I'd agree to that. But my palate-pleasing caffeine fix just isn't complete without a bit of sugary carbs to enhance and complete that short-term energy boost of the caffeine, and a little dab of milk to take off the edge of a strong brew. And I like my coffee strong, else I could drink... water.

 

[Kargathia]

(~and IMO, saying "Hawaiian Pizza" is a cop-out)

Hawaiian Pizza is awesome.

Additionally, it's not an insult if other people do what they like to food. It's an insult if they try to do it to MY food.

Quite so. I really couldn't care less if one would go ahead and smother the food I just cooked in a combination of ketchup and peanutbutter, but dare touch mine, and I'm just as likely to discover the felicities of a pot roast involving the offender's nether parts.

Although, to be honest, I still find it disgusting when people soak their food in ketchup, mayonnaise, or any other dressing. It's baffling how anyone could enjoy the taste of fries (or anything else, for that matter) so drowned in sauce it resembles porridge.

 

[IamLEAM1983]

My personal food no-no is salt.

Salt goes on some things. It's even tolerable for me to put it on one or two elements that have already been salted as part of the cooking process. Mashed potatoes, for instance. This is the one food item I do allow myself to salt.

My father, though, is what I'd consider a sodium addict. For one, it's not helping his blood pressure, but he insists that it's part of the normal process of eating. Even if your food has received a lot of salt as part of the cooking process, he'll ask for the salt shaker.

He also tends to repeat certain culinary mistakes he's seen others make on the grounds that, hey, "Italians I know do this" or "Indians I know do that". That means he'll add salt and butter to his plate of spaghetti, when the sauce itself is supposed to act as the thicker element tying the pasta together, or ruin his Khorma chicken by adding salt to the preparation.

We've tried hiding the salt shaker time and time again, but he always finds it or sneaks little salt packets out of the office and back home. We've tried talking to it about it, and he just doesn't get it. "It's just a little salt," he says, "that can't possibly be that bad, right?"

Wrong, Dad, because I have the opposite problem. I drink two to three coffee cups a day and add a ton of sugar to each of them. I'm trying my hardest to cut back on that, because I'm not so dumb as to not notice that I've gained weight since turning into a regular coffee drinker.

 

[Froggy Slayer]

My friend put tomato ketchup on his steak. For this crime there is no punishment too severe.

 

[game-lover]

I too am probably the one who does food faux pas.

My brother believes that I will try anything when it comes to food at least once. And he's probably correct.

Can't imagine such things like mayo on pizza but such a thing does not insult me.

All you people getting physical with people eating their food the way they enjoy, I will jack you up. My food. My way.

Back the fucking hell up.

 

[Euryalus]

People that genuinley get pissed about what I like on my food. Yeah I like ketchup on mac 'n cheese, so what? Wanna fight about it?

OT: Seriously (well, more on topic anyway), I hate it when... You know what? No! Fuck you food elitists, as long as I don't have to eat it I'm fine with whatever you do. Leave me and my food alone!

[sub][sub][sub]... Hawaiian Pizza sucks though, don't eat that shit #Hypocrisy[/sub][/sub][/sub]