I am 25 and live 500 miles away from my parents. I've been working at my first job since graduating school for about two years now. Several months ago my mom was diagnosed with a brain tumor that is inoperable and will eventually be terminal even with radiation and chemotherapy. I've done a lot of reading and she could live another few months or she could live 2-3 years. No one can really tell us for sure.
My mom's symptoms have been getting worse, and now she can't stay home alone or do much other than basic tasks without help. She is also very confused and has a hard time communicating with us. My employer has been understanding and I have split my time on and off at their house and where I live, but I am close to running out of time off. Working from home is not an option.
I want my parents to move in with me where I live, at least temporarily. When she is lucid my mom agrees that this is the best option, but my father refuses. My father is retired and doesn't have any friends, family, or church to give him a reason to stay there, and I am their only child. I can't just move my mom by herself because I would need to pay a nursing aide to watch her when I'm not home, and that would cost several thousands a month, which I don't have. My father controls the money with an iron fist.
I love my mom a lot, and I want to be there for her. But if I do what my father says, I give up everything: my job, my friends, my girlfriend, and my independence to be a full-time caregiver for an uncertain period of time. I could be unemployed for years. I know my mom wouldn't want me to do that when she was healthy, but now she is confused a lot and doesn't know what to think. I feel very depressed because my father constantly takes me on guilt trips, and I am very torn between my responsibilities as a son and my own life which has only just begun.
My mom's symptoms have been getting worse, and now she can't stay home alone or do much other than basic tasks without help. She is also very confused and has a hard time communicating with us. My employer has been understanding and I have split my time on and off at their house and where I live, but I am close to running out of time off. Working from home is not an option.
I want my parents to move in with me where I live, at least temporarily. When she is lucid my mom agrees that this is the best option, but my father refuses. My father is retired and doesn't have any friends, family, or church to give him a reason to stay there, and I am their only child. I can't just move my mom by herself because I would need to pay a nursing aide to watch her when I'm not home, and that would cost several thousands a month, which I don't have. My father controls the money with an iron fist.
I love my mom a lot, and I want to be there for her. But if I do what my father says, I give up everything: my job, my friends, my girlfriend, and my independence to be a full-time caregiver for an uncertain period of time. I could be unemployed for years. I know my mom wouldn't want me to do that when she was healthy, but now she is confused a lot and doesn't know what to think. I feel very depressed because my father constantly takes me on guilt trips, and I am very torn between my responsibilities as a son and my own life which has only just begun.