Monkey Paw thread

Shadyside

Bad Hombre
Legacy
Aug 20, 2020
1,113
260
88
Country
Republic of Texas
Gender
Male
you become anorexic as a result.

i wish eilzabeth warren was the nominee and will win the election.
 

Neuromancer

Angel of Truth
Legacy
Apr 4, 2020
506
322
68
a homeless squat
Country
None
Gender
Abolish
She wins, but as her sell-out price is 12mil, she sells a lot of government secrets to Russia.

I wish the personal wasn't political.
 

Tireseas

Plaguegirl
Legacy
Apr 24, 2020
208
93
33
Seattle
Country
United States
Gender
Trans Woman
Individual personalities are wiped out and everyone is simply a drone of the hive mind.

I wish I could get a weekly game of Identico or Shadowrun as a player...
 

Kae

Just burn the whole thing.
Legacy
May 8, 2020
883
344
68
Somewhere in México
Country
México
Gender
Robot
Done, but it's with a DM that has a really "cool" DM PC and the other players are that guy.

I wish I had the energy and talent to finish writing that book I was working on.
 

Shadyside

Bad Hombre
Legacy
Aug 20, 2020
1,113
260
88
Country
Republic of Texas
Gender
Male
It never gets published.

I wish evil male anglos would disappear.
 

Tireseas

Plaguegirl
Legacy
Apr 24, 2020
208
93
33
Seattle
Country
United States
Gender
Trans Woman
They do and everyone else becomes a bit more evil to compensate.

I wish I could morph my body to whatever shape I choose.
 

PointlessKnowledge

It Can Wait Til Morning
Legacy
Apr 3, 2020
1,001
43
53
Country
Canada
Gender
Male
Granted, but that is also your profession now.

I wish for a good bottle of rum that I won't drop.
 

Shadyside

Bad Hombre
Legacy
Aug 20, 2020
1,113
260
88
Country
Republic of Texas
Gender
Male
You die from intoxication.

I wish everyone used slurs and politically incorrect language.
 

Shadyside

Bad Hombre
Legacy
Aug 20, 2020
1,113
260
88
Country
Republic of Texas
Gender
Male
It has pineapple.

I wish for white genocide.
 

SupahEwok

Malapropic Homophone
Legacy
Apr 3, 2020
3,159
1,047
118
Country
Texas
Common genetic heritage means everybody dies.

I wish I was a little bit taller
I wish I was a baller
I wish I had a girl who looked good, I would call her
I wish I had a rabbit in a hat with a bat
And a six four Impala
I wish I was like six-foot-nine
So I can get with Leoshi
'Cause she don't know me but yo she's really fine
You know I see her all the time everywhere I go
And even in my dreams I can scheme a way to make her mine
'Cause I know she's livin phat
Her boyfriend's tall and he plays ball
So how am I gonna compete with that?
'Cause when it comes to playing basketball
I'm always last to be picked
And in some cases never picked at all
So I just lean up on the wall
Or sit up in the bleachers with the rest of the girls
Who came to watch their men ball
Dag y'all! I never understood, black
Why the jocks get the fly girls and me I get the hood rats
I tell em "scat, skittle, scabobble"
Got hit with a bottle
And I been in the hospital for talkin' that mess
I confess it's a shame when you living in a city
That's the size of a box and nobody knows yo' name
Glad I came to my senses
Like quick-quick got sick-sick to my stomach
Overcommeth by the thoughts of me and her together
Right? So when I asked her out she said I wasn't her type
I wish I was a little bit taller
I wish I was a baller
I wish I had a girl who looked good, I would call her
I wish I had a rabbit in a hat with a bat
And a six four Impala
I wish I was a little bit taller
I wish I was a baller
I wish I had a girl who looked good, I would call her
I wish I had a rabbit in a hat with a bat
And a six four Impala
I wish I had a brand-new car
So far, I got this hatchback
And everywhere I go, yo, I gets laughed at
And when I'm in my car I'm laid back
I got an 8-track and a spare tire in the backseat, but that's flat
And do you really wanna know what's really whack?
See I can't even get a date, so, what do you think of that?
I heard that prom night is a bomb night
With the hood rats you can hold tight
But really though, I'm a Figaro
When I'm in my car I can't even get a hello
Well, so many people wanna cruise Crenshaw on Sunday
Well, then I'mma have to get in my car and go
You know I take the 110 until the 105
Get off at Crenshaw, tell my homies "look alive"
'Cause it's hard to survive when your living
In a concrete jungle and these girls keep passing me by
She looks fly, she looks fly
Makes me say "my, my, my"
I wish I was a little bit taller
I wish I was a baller
I wish I had a girl who looked good, I would call her
I wish I had a rabbit in a hat with a bat
And a six four Impala
I wish I was a little bit taller
I wish I was a baller
I wish I had a girl who looked good, I would call her
I wish I had a rabbit in a hat with a bat
And a six four Impala
I wish I was a little bit taller
I wish I was a baller
I wish I was a little bit taller
I wish I was a baller
I wish I was a little bit taller
I wish I was a baller
I wish I was a little bit taller
I wish I was a baller
Hey, I wish I had my way
'Cause everyday would be a Friday
And you could even speed on the highway
I would play ghetto games
Name my kids ghetto names Little Mookie, Big Al, Lorraine
Yo you know that's on the real
So if you're down on your luck
Then you should know just how I feel 'cause if you don't want me around
See I go simple, I go easy, I go Greyhound
Hey, you, what's that sound?
Everybody look what's going down
Ah yes, ain't that fresh?
Everybody wants to get down like that
I wish I was a little bit taller
I wish I was a baller
I wish I had a girl who looked good, I would call her
I wish I had a rabbit in a hat with a bat
And a six four Impala
I wish I was a little bit taller
I wish I was a baller
I wish I had a girl who looked good, I would call her
I wish I had a rabbit in a hat with a bat
And a six four Impala
 

Shadyside

Bad Hombre
Legacy
Aug 20, 2020
1,113
260
88
Country
Republic of Texas
Gender
Male
The monkey paw is annoyed with you and strangle you to death.

I wish for a monkey paw that actually lets you make good wishes without repercussions.
 

Kae

Just burn the whole thing.
Legacy
May 8, 2020
883
344
68
Somewhere in México
Country
México
Gender
Robot
Granted, it allows you to make any wishes you want without any repercussions, because it doesn't grant them.

I wish for the Moon to crash into the Earth.
 

Shadyside

Bad Hombre
Legacy
Aug 20, 2020
1,113
260
88
Country
Republic of Texas
Gender
Male
The monkey paw strangles you since you were being a smartass.

I wish Mike Pence and Donald Trump would die from the chinese virus.
 

Tireseas

Plaguegirl
Legacy
Apr 24, 2020
208
93
33
Seattle
Country
United States
Gender
Trans Woman
Granted. Nancy Pelosi is President now.

I wish I could actually play the guitar.
 

Dreiko

Elite Member
Legacy
May 1, 2020
821
184
48
CT
Country
usa
Gender
male, pronouns: your majesty/my lord/daddy
Tony Iommi's hands rot away.

I wish the moon was made out of cheese.