Monkey Paw thread

gorfias

Unrealistic but happy
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Granted. Its a box; you get in and it travels forward through time at x1.0 normal speed.

I wish I had a better computer.
Granted. Now it thinks it is too good for you and will not accept your input.
I wish I had a bigger house.
 

Xprimentyl

Made you look...
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Granted. Now it thinks it is too good for you and will not accept your input.
I wish I had a bigger house.
Granted, but it's located directly on the South Pole.

I wish I could play every instrument at a savant-like level.
 

CM156

Resident Reactionary
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Granted, except people won't listen to them.

I wish we knew alien life existed
Granted, it does, but it's hundreds of thousand light years away and there's no way to break past the speed of light.

I wish the Republican party in my country regained sanity and respectability.
 

Kae

That which exists in the absence of space.
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Lose 1d20 sanity points.
Granted, they become the communist party.

I wish I was a submarine.
 

Elvis Starburst

Unprofessional Rant Artist
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It is done. But you are sentient and fully aware of the feeling of having people and seamen inside of you.

I wish I could change genders at will.

Edit: Dammit I had sex and gender confused. Not what I meant at all D=
 
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CM156

Resident Reactionary
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Granted, but you can't change your sex at will.

I wish that I had a pair of dress shoes that fit my feet well.
 

Mister Mumbler

Pronounced "Throat-wobbler Mangrove"
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Granted. They contour to your feet like a glove, while offering amazing comfort and support. You never take them off. Unfortunately, they are styled like kids shoes, specifically, a police car: they are bright red and blue, with matching light-up function and "wee-woo" sound when walking.

I wish I could manufacture new versions of classic cars.
 
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TheMysteriousGX

Elite Member
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Granted. They contour to your feet like a glove, while offering amazing comfort and support. You never take them off. Unfortunately, they are styled like kids shoes, specifically, a police car: they are bright red and blue, with matching light-up function and "wee-woo" sound when walking.

I wish I could manufacture new versions of classic cars.
You absolutely can. They will never pass a safety or emissions test.

I want Delicious in Dungeon to get an anime
 
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Gordon_4

The Big Engine
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You absolutely can. They will never pass a safety or emissions test.

I want Delicious in Dungeon to get an anime
Granted. Except the anime director has made it a hentai fetish vehicle that’s an exploitative fusion of Goblin Slayer and 9 1/2 Weeks.

EDIT:

I wish I was better
 
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TheMysteriousGX

Elite Member
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Granted. Except the anime director has made it a hentai fetish vehicle that’s an exploitative fusion of Goblin Slayer and 9 1/2 Weeks.
Ahh, shit. And I know what early scenes they could do that to. Lotta potential guro vore
 

CM156

Resident Reactionary
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Granted. They contour to your feet like a glove, while offering amazing comfort and support. You never take them off. Unfortunately, they are styled like kids shoes, specifically, a police car: they are bright red and blue, with matching light-up function and "wee-woo" sound when walking.
I'm sorry, but how is that a negative? Those shoes sound amazing.

I wish that I had more time to sleep.
 
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Mister Mumbler

Pronounced "Throat-wobbler Mangrove"
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I'm sorry, but how is that a negative? Those shoes sound amazing.

I wish that I had more time to sleep.
Well, I know you are a lawyer in some capacity, so I just imagined you in a classic "courtroom scene", but with those aforementioned shoes.

Granted;
1634319566211.png
"Goodnight, sweet prince(-cess)."

I wish this sites formatting was easier to work with.
 
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Drathnoxis

Artificial Person
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Well, I know you are a lawyer in some capacity, so I just imagined you in a classic "courtroom scene", but with those aforementioned shoes.

Granted;
View attachment 4691
"Goodnight, sweet prince(-cess)."

I wish this sites formatting was easier to work with.
Granted, but you get the "Oops, something went wrong." error 90% of the time you hit post.

I wish I could live a life of ease and quiet retirement.