Monkey Paw thread

gorfias

Unrealistic but happy
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Apr 6, 2020
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Granted. And you now have 6 arms with which to do it.

I wish I could eat all I want without getting fat.
 
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Drathnoxis

Artificial Person
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Apr 3, 2020
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Granted, but your appetites is completely insatiable; you're starving 100% of the time.

I wish I could go back in time and relive any moment of my life at will.
Granted, but the person you hate most is taken along and does commentary.

I wish I didn't have sensitive teeth. Too easy.
I wish I was king of the world.
 

Drathnoxis

Artificial Person
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Apr 3, 2020
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Granted. No one believes you, so you are reduced to shouting your kingly stature from a street corner as a crazy (albeit well-dressed) hobo.

I wish I could talk and communicate better.
Granted, but you speak in an ancient language that nobody understands.

I wish life had meaning.
 

Asita

Answer Hazy, Ask Again Later
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Apr 4, 2020
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Granted.

Life: Noun.
  1. The condition that distinguishes animals and plants from inorganic matter, including the capacity for growth, reproduction, functional activity, and continual change preceding death.
  2. the existence of an individual human being or animal.
  3. the period between the birth and death of a living thing, especially a human being.
  4. vitality, vigor, or energy.
  5. (in art) the depiction of a subject from a real model, rather than from an artist's imagination.
I wish I could play the violin.
 

Xprimentyl

Made you look...
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Apr 10, 2020
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I wish I could play the violin.
Granted, but your skills are limited to covers of shitty '80s bands' songs.

I wish I could sustain a healthy lifestyle on French fries and cold-cut sandwiches.
 

BrawlMan

Lover of beat'em ups.
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Apr 3, 2020
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Granted, but your skills are limited to covers of shitty '80s bands' songs.

I wish I could sustain a healthy lifestyle on French fries and cold-cut sandwiches.
You get your wish, but in return any actual healthy foods hurt you, makes you sick, or poison you.

All I wish for is Viewtiful Joe 3.
 
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Xprimentyl

Made you look...
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Apr 10, 2020
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You get your wish, but in return any actual healthy foods hurt you, makes you sick, or poison you.
That's... actually a pretty sweet deal.

All I wish for is Viewtiful Joe 3.
Granted, but you lose your sight and use of both your hands in a tragic masturbation accident.

I wish @BrawlMan was an actual genie.
 
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