Monkey Paw thread

Kae

That which exists in the absence of space.
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Nov 27, 2009
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Lose 1d20 sanity points.
Granted but it's made of rotten mouldy cheese and you're in it.

I wish I was able to rest propperly.
 

CM156

Resident Reactionary
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May 6, 2020
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Done, but you only have the desire to make them do the things they were already going to do.

I wish that more of the plays of Aristophanes survived to the modern age.
 

Mister Mumbler

Pronounced "Throat-wobbler Mangrove"
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Granted, but unfortunately people are still stupid, so they are dragged out into the streets for being the smarty fancy pantses that they are.

I wish I understood quantum theory.
 

CM156

Resident Reactionary
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May 6, 2020
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The keys to the universe are massive and they crush you like a bug.

I wish that all subsequent wishes, including this one, are granted in the spirit in which the wish was intended, rather than literal wording.
 

Dwarvenhobble

Is on the Gin
May 26, 2020
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The keys to the universe are massive and they crush you like a bug.

I wish that all subsequent wishes, including this one, are granted in the spirit in which the wish was intended, rather than literal wording.
All wishes now result in a the wish being granted but the person who makes it also drops into a dunk tank of ethanol due to the human body producing ethanol which is the alcohol in most spirits and making the wish in human form means the spirit they were made in and intended was human for a human to have it granted.

My wish is for The Italian Sci-Fi film Nirvana to finally be available on streaming services.
 

JoJo

and the Amazing Technicolour Dream Goat 🐐
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The film is made available but its dubbed by 4Kids.

I wish I had the superpower of flight.
 
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PointlessKnowledge

It Can Wait Til Morning
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Sep 8, 2014
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You can only fly when you're in a hurricane.

I wish that everyone on the planet watched Plan 9 From Outer Space.
 

Kae

That which exists in the absence of space.
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Nov 27, 2009
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Lose 1d20 sanity points.
Granted, but all other movies and shows have been erased and everyone will only ever watch Plan 9 from Outer Space.

I wish to know the truth.
 

CM156

Resident Reactionary
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May 6, 2020
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The truth is that nobody can handle the truth.

I wish for everyone on earth to have access to firearms.
 

Kae

That which exists in the absence of space.
Legacy
Nov 27, 2009
5,792
712
118
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The Dreamlands
Gender
Lose 1d20 sanity points.
Granted but they're all revolvers and everyone is magically compelled to play Russian roulette every day.

I wish to go to space.
 

CM156

Resident Reactionary
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May 6, 2020
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Granted. You are launched into space with a spacesuit, but aimed right at the sun.

I wish for a buttload of gold.
 

Trunkage

Nascent Orca
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Granted. Your rectum falls out due to the extra weight

I wish all loans were forgiven
 

Mister Mumbler

Pronounced "Throat-wobbler Mangrove"
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Granted, but everyone still needs to pay the interest fees forever.

I wish I knew the answer to life, the universe, everything.
 

Dwarvenhobble

Is on the Gin
May 26, 2020
5,912
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You and given the answer but it's incomprehensible without knowing the true question.

I wish the Scott Pilgrim vs the World game was widely available to play again
 

Kae

That which exists in the absence of space.
Legacy
Nov 27, 2009
5,792
712
118
Country
The Dreamlands
Gender
Lose 1d20 sanity points.
Granted it's the best wish ever, so good that words can't express and therefore no matter how hard you try you cannot make it.

I wish I was happy.