Monster Trucks - Truck This Tire Fire

Marter

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Monster Trucks - Truck This Tire Fire

Monster Trucks is trucking awful.

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Bob_McMillan

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Wow, this movie was bad? Who could have possibly seen that coming.

Also, what is a tire fire? I know its a place in whatever town the Simpsons live in, but I don't get why you would bother burning tires on purpose.
 

Scarim Coral

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Funny how someone from Tumblr (no suprised there) was trying to say the film was good as in better than expected which was low to being with. I'm not suprised the general opinion swade the film to be awful overall.
 

pookie101

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when i saw the trailer on tv i was totally wrong and i appologise.. my first reaction was that a 6year old wrote it when in fact it was a 4yo.

i did laugh at finding out the studio just wrote off a $115M loss before it was even released which shows how confident they were of it
 
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Marter said:
Monster Trucks - Truck This Tire Fire

Monster Trucks is trucking awful.

Read Full Article
Scarim Coral said:
Funny how someone from Tumblr (no suprised there) was trying to say the film was good as in better than expected which was low to being with. I'm not suprised the general opinion swade the film to be awful overall.
Tumble liked it? Oh god, the tentacle porn!
 

Neurotic Void Melody

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Looks like a shark from the thumbnail. I'm not watching the damn trailer. But questions, Moriarty, so many questions. How is a monster also a truck? As in not like a transformer, but a flesh built monster? That is a truck? Is there a high chance the film was already seen as an embarrassing mistake, but some dude desperate to get some money back from this failed endeavour threw his hands up in the air like he just didn't care and exclaimed "what if we edit it to PG and make some money off of those uninformed parents looking to quickly shut their shrieking children up the least violent way?"
 

Marter

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Xsjadoblayde said:
Looks like a shark from the thumbnail. I'm not watching the damn trailer. But questions, Moriarty, so many questions. How is a monster also a truck? As in not like a transformer, but a flesh built monster? That is a truck? Is there a high chance the film was already seen as an embarrassing mistake, but some dude desperate to get some money back from this failed endeavour threw his hands up in the air like he just didn't care and exclaimed "what if we edit it to PG and make some money off of those uninformed parents looking to quickly shut their shrieking children up the least violent way?"
It's a land-squid that wears the mostly empty shell of a truck.
 

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Xsjadoblayde said:
BuildsLegos said:
It's a land-squid that wears the mostly empty shell of a truck.
But it still needs to drink gasoline??
From what I understand, it was their food source until Big Oil took it away. Considering gasoline is made from the melted guts of the Cambrian Explosion, it's far less ridiculous than rich people wanting to kill creatures new to Science rather than capitalize on their existence.
 

Neurotic Void Melody

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BuildsLegos said:
From what I understand, it was their food source until Big Oil took it away. Considering gasoline is made from the melted guts of the Cambrian Explosion, it's far less ridiculous than rich people wanting to kill creatures new to Science rather than capitalize on their existence.
But it still has functioning wheels?
 

Marter

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Xsjadoblayde said:
BuildsLegos said:
From what I understand, it was their food source until Big Oil took it away. Considering gasoline is made from the melted guts of the Cambrian Explosion, it's far less ridiculous than rich people wanting to kill creatures new to Science rather than capitalize on their existence.
But it still has functioning wheels?
In the trailer, it nearly dropped a wheel whilst jumping off a cliff and reached out to grab it before landing; probably the most exciting moment in the movie that doesn't involve reckless 2nd-degree murder. So the wheels aren't functional or even attached directly to the truck, the monster is just holding and spinning them.
 

Neurotic Void Melody

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BuildsLegos said:
Xsjadoblayde said:
BuildsLegos said:
From what I understand, it was their food source until Big Oil took it away. Considering gasoline is made from the melted guts of the Cambrian Explosion, it's far less ridiculous than rich people wanting to kill creatures new to Science rather than capitalize on their existence.
But it still has functioning wheels?
In the trailer, it nearly dropped a wheel whilst jumping off a cliff and reached out to grab it before landing; probably the most exciting moment in the movie that doesn't involve reckless 2nd-degree murder. So the wheels aren't functional or even attached directly to the truck, the monster is just holding and spinning them.
Huh...Okay that's a pretty committed monster. Fair play there.
 

09philj

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Marter said:
Monster Trucks - Truck This Tire Fire

Monster Trucks is trucking awful.

Read Full Article
Now I don't know whether to feel guilty or smug that I got to go and see Your Name, which is an absolutely wonderful film which YOU SHOULD ALL GO AND WATCH HOLY SHIT, while you had to watch Monster Trucks.
 

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09philj said:
Now I don't know whether to feel guilty or smug that I got to go and see Your Name, which is an absolutely wonderful film which YOU SHOULD ALL GO AND WATCH HOLY SHIT, while you had to watch Monster Trucks.
I've seen it so we're all good. :)
 

09philj

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Marter said:
09philj said:
Now I don't know whether to feel guilty or smug that I got to go and see Your Name, which is an absolutely wonderful film which YOU SHOULD ALL GO AND WATCH HOLY SHIT, while you had to watch Monster Trucks.
I've seen it so we're all good. :)
Will there be a full review on the site?
 

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09philj said:
Will there be a full review on the site?
Very doubtful - unless its (semi-)wide release doesn't have much competition.

It may just show up on one of my end-of-year lists that will be online this coming week, though. ;D

Edit: Next week. The 5 Best/Worst films will be this week; my full awards will be next week.
 

Fox12

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To be fair, this probably would have been my favorite movie when I was four years old. It's a cute idea for little boys.
 

008Zulu_v1legacy

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On a somewhat related tangent; Why do Americans spell Tire (as in a car) and Tire (as working to the point of exhaustion) the exact same way?

FYI, here in Australia, we spell it Tyre (as in a car), so there is no confusion.
 

Sniper Team 4

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008Zulu said:
On a somewhat related tangent; Why do Americans spell Tire (as in a car) and Tire (as working to the point of exhaustion) the exact same way?

FYI, here in Australia, we spell it Tyre (as in a car), so there is no confusion.
Because YOU'RE WRONG! That's why! America!
But truthfully, it's probably the same reason we in the U.S. spell several words differently. Honor vs. honour, color vs. colour, theater vs. theatre...the U.S. wanted to rebel so hard against Great Britain that we straight up changed the English language, and it has stuck to this day.

As for this movie, I remember seeing a preview for it in theaters (there, see?) a long time ago. And then it just sort of vanished, so I figured it sucked. Imagine my surprise when it popped up again just recently. I remember saying, "Didn't that already come out?"
And now I understand it all. It was so terrible that they benched it for a long time, only to dump it out now.
 

Saelune

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This movie existed just to let you make that review. If nothing else, I enjoyed reading it.


Sniper Team 4 said:
008Zulu said:
On a somewhat related tangent; Why do Americans spell Tire (as in a car) and Tire (as working to the point of exhaustion) the exact same way?

FYI, here in Australia, we spell it Tyre (as in a car), so there is no confusion.
Because YOU'RE WRONG! That's why! America!
But truthfully, it's probably the same reason we in the U.S. spell several words differently. Honor vs. honour, color vs. colour, theater vs. theatre...the U.S. wanted to rebel so hard against Great Britain that we straight up changed the English language, and it has stuck to this day.
Those u's were excessive, the US did the world a FAVOR, and er makes more sense than re.
 

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Bob_McMillan said:
Also, what is a tire fire? I know its a place in whatever town the Simpsons live in, but I don't get why you would bother burning tires on purpose.
People generally don't burn them on purpose, but there have been incidents where a tire dump has caught fire. The smoke is extremely noxious and the fire is usually very difficult to put out.
 

Fijiman

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Can't say I'm at all surprised. I first learned of the movie's existence via movie poster while on my way out from seeing Rouge One a few weeks ago and both my brother and I were in both awe and confusion as to what in the fuck we were looking at. Then I found out that it was a Nickelodeon movie and what little hope there was for it quickly vanished. Seriously, has Nick made even one even passable movie in the last ten years? Because if it has I don't remember hearing of it.
 

The Ditz

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008Zulu said:
On a somewhat related tangent; Why do Americans spell Tire (as in a car) and Tire (as working to the point of exhaustion) the exact same way?

FYI, here in Australia, we spell it Tyre (as in a car), so there is no confusion.
That's silly, now people will confuse tires with the one handed god, Tyr (like ye olde English or something). Also, intercourse and the distinction between xx/xy, are both called sex. We have this thing called context to help us, no one is going to mix up the two. This argument is beginning to tyre me.

O.T.
Oil companies evil? animal powered trucks? child like writing and an obsession with trucks? How subversive! Finally a way to get republicans on board with green energy. Sure we'll have to talk them out of jamming horses under their hood or having dogs pull their trucks, but at least there will be some evolution on their end.
 

Callate

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And several thousand L.A. waiters, baristas and gas station attendants who have been patiently polishing their screenplays by night in the hopes that some day they'll find someone to make an elevator pitch to say to themselves, "You know where my next paycheck is going? Vodka."
 

Bob_McMillan

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The Rogue Wolf said:
Bob_McMillan said:
Also, what is a tire fire? I know its a place in whatever town the Simpsons live in, but I don't get why you would bother burning tires on purpose.
People generally don't burn them on purpose, but there have been incidents where a tire dump has caught fire. The smoke is extremely noxious and the fire is usually very difficult to put out.
Ah, now I understand why it would be in the Simpsons.
 

RaikuFA

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Fijiman said:
Can't say I'm at all surprised. I first learned of the movie's existence via movie poster while on my way out from seeing Rouge One a few weeks ago and both my brother and I were in both awe and confusion as to what in the fuck we were looking at. Then I found out that it was a Nickelodeon movie and what little hope there was for it quickly vanished. Seriously, has Nick made even one even passable movie in the last ten years? Because if it has I don't remember hearing of it.
Nickelodeon has just been terrible lately. Just look up what they did to the guy who created Harvey Beaks. Or refusing to announce new TMNT.
 
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The Ditz said:
008Zulu said:
On a somewhat related tangent; Why do Americans spell Tire (as in a car) and Tire (as working to the point of exhaustion) the exact same way?

FYI, here in Australia, we spell it Tyre (as in a car), so there is no confusion.
That's silly, now people will confuse tires with the one handed god, Tyr (like ye olde English or something). Also, intercourse and the distinction between xx/xy, are both called sex. We have this thing called context to help us, no one is going to mix up the two. This argument is beginning to tyre me.
Old Norse, as it happens. In Old English he's called Tiw, pronounced something like "Chew". Like Thursday is Thor's Day, Tuesday is Tiw's Day. Now I must return to the Earth, for my trenches are calling. Archaeology, away!
 

JCAll

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Reminds me of the Attack Pack toys from when I was a kid. Except that those were awesome and this isn't.