Movie Defense Force: Hellraiser III: Hell on Earth

Poetic Nova

Pulvis Et Umbra Sumus
Jan 24, 2012
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Honestly, I actually like III and to an extend IV. They are not up par with I and II but I enjoy them nonentheless.
 

YuberNeclord

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Jul 15, 2012
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Ok, here's my problem with Hellraiser 3. It's not entertaining, it's fucking stupid.

Now before anyone says "Oh, you just don't like trashy films", no I fucking love trashy films.

I love my Troma flicks. Peter Jacksons Bad Taste and Brain Dead(Dead Alive) are freaking awesome films. Not only is Demons one of my favourite films, I like Demons 2 as well. Anyone ever seen Terminal Island? That movie is god awful. But it's also hilarious in a 70's exploitation film kind of way. And it's got Tom Selleck in it.

So I've always wondered why I don't like Hellraiser 3 and now I think I know why.
Whereas something like Toxic Avenger knew it was dumb right from the get go and just went with it, I get the very distinct feeling from Hellraiser 3 that the creators genuinely felt that they were creating a serious horror. I think someone thought that cd-robocop cenobite, camerahead cenobite and lady cigarette cenobite were great creative decisions.

Oh and I totally don't know what the hell Jim is talking about when referring to Hellraiser 1 and 2 as "cerebral horror films". I don't watch Hellraiser 1 and 2 to be intellectually stimulated. I watch them because they are damn fine horror films, something Hellraiser 3 is not. Not now, not ever. It's not even entertaining to watch drunk, I've tried that too.

I've watched all of Movie Defence force up till now and like a few people have said, I'm really getting sick of the whole "Well you can at least laugh at how bad it is" defence. I like it when Jim gives valid reasons to defend a film that has gotten a bad wrap. Like Blair Witch 2, I always liked that film. I was warned right from the start to not compare it to the original but to judge it on it's own merits. And I thought it was a pretty solid horror film. It's one of the better horror films to come out from that period of horror at least.

I also like it when Jim makes an argument so ludicrous that I must watch that film. I've never see Showgirls, I've never wanted to see Showgirls, that is until I saw the episode on it.
I have to go and watch it now with the thought in mind that Kyle MacLachlan is playing Agent Cooper and Elizabeth Berkley is a caffeine addict.

With this movie defence force Jim has given me no compelling reason to go back and watch Hellraiser 3. I still think it is a terrible, unwatchable film.

Darks63 said:
I mean hell after the 5th on Doug Bradley does not reprise his role as pinhead and your know thats a bad sign.
Doug Bradley was in every Hellraiser film except for Revelations. Which is the ninth one in the series.
 

Highlandheadbanger

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Jan 8, 2009
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Perhaps The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen might be a good one to do. Even as a kid I realized it was dumb but it was still interesting in some ways, even if it does stray from the comic book severely.
 

daxterx2005

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Dec 19, 2009
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Jim, so what you're saying is you'd be fine if we had an iPad Cenobite in a future film?
 

DracoSuave

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Jan 26, 2009
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Wow. A defense of Hellraiser 3 that didn't include the phrase 'That one girl in DS9 gets topless'.

Classy.
 

Diablo2000

Tiger Robocop
Aug 29, 2010
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Now that we are at it, I like IV and V too...

They don't get the love they deserve
 

Alar

The Stormbringer
Dec 1, 2009
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I wonder... what happened to the -good- half of our lovely villain? That would make an awfully silly movie if he was resurrected somewhere else.
 

flarty

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Apr 26, 2012
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Zhukov said:
I can't help but notice that a lot of these movie defenses of yours essentially consist of, "Well, at least you can laugh at how bad it is."
I didn't get that from this episode at all, nor the alien 3 one.
 

Rebel_Raven

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Jul 24, 2011
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Oh come on, it's not like Hell on Earth the WORST Hellraiser movie ever. Hellraiser: Hellworld, anyone? I'm not going to spoiler it, but I think it was the absolute worst of them all.

Yep, there's been 9, total Hellraiser movies, and I've seen most, if not all of them, though I'm hard pressed to remember them all since it's been so long. I should probably try to remedy that some time.

It really is a shame to me when a horror series loses it's way, though. Especially Wishmaster.
 

FrozenCones

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Dec 31, 2009
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Rebel_Raven said:
Oh come on, it's not like Hell on Earth the WORST Hellraiser movie ever. Hellraiser: Hellworld, anyone? I'm not going to spoiler it, but I think it was the absolute worst of them all.

Yep, there's been 9, total Hellraiser movies, and I've seen most, if not all of them, though I'm hard pressed to remember them all since it's been so long. I should probably try to remedy that some time.

It really is a shame to me when a horror series loses it's way, though. Especially Wishmaster.
Hellraiser Revelations beats Hellworld for the worst in the series. At least Hellworld had Lance Henriksen and Doug Bradley. Revelations is just cringeworthy.

The problem with Hellraiser 3 is that it introduces all those silly token cenobites like DJ and that bloke with the steam pump sticking out of his head.

The second installment was the jewel in the crown for the series although after reading The Hellbound Heart I have a new appreciation for the original.

Also this:

 

Varya

Elvish Ambassador
Nov 23, 2009
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I have to start watching the Helraiser series, just to see the guy shooting CD's from his face
 

JenSeven

Crazy person! Avoid!
Oct 19, 2010
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animeh1star1a said:
JenSeven said:
Next time: Space Jam?
Might be a bit too hard to defend that one.
But... i liked that movie.....
But from your reply alone here, you know why it belongs here and why it would be hard to do.
And to make things worse for Jim I'm going to remind him of a few words that will now be linked to the movie.

Here we go Jim. These words will now pop into your head as you watch the movie:

Samit "sports" Sarkar
NBA Baller
My Career Mode
EA Sports NBA Live
MLB The Show

Right enough references to old podtoids, let's see what happens.
 

Metalrocks

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Jan 15, 2009
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the only horror series i have never watched. always wanted to, but never could find the dvd for it and i dint want any of the newer once without watching the old once first. once day i will watch them. one day.
 

Balkan

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Sep 5, 2011
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Most of the MDF episodes seem to use the "Its dumb fun" argument. Open my eyes for some lost masterpiece. I dare you, Sterling.
 

Comrade_Beric

Jacobin
May 10, 2010
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This review sold me more on giving the first two films a shot than to accept the retardation that this one looked like. I'm not much of a horror fan at all really, but a film that Jim calls "cerebral" is worth at least a single viewing. The same way as anything with Ron Perlman in it has at least a one-viewing requirement to it. This practice seriously bit me in the ass with Mutant Chronicles. Jim should try giving that movie a shot and see if he can actually convince someone it isn't garbage. I won't be the one he convinces and I love Ron Perlman.
 

Orekoya

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Sep 24, 2008
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Zhukov said:
I can't help but notice that a lot of these movie defenses of yours essentially consist of, "Well, at least you can laugh at how bad it is."
I can't help but notice that you point this out on a video that doesn't deploy that defense at all but instead one that opted for the other common defense of "Oh sure, it wasn't as good as the others in its series but it was a good movie in its own right."
 

PureChaos

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Aug 16, 2008
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I have the 9 film collection and, although Hell on Earth is one of the weaker films, it's certainly not the worst!
 

Aetrion

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May 19, 2012
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I always thought Hellraiser 3 was better than 2. Maybe 2 would hold up better with good special effects, but even the end of Hellraiser 1 really suffers from that cartoony mess that passed for hell box magic back then.