my gf is a pothead


New member
Jul 8, 2010
Marcilla said:
Indeed, total gateway drug, just like beer is the gateway alcoholic drink.
One day it just a few beer with friends but before you know your sucking dick for tequila shots.
Because thats how addictive substances work right?
Nice attempt at reductio ad absurdum there.

Look at the statistics online for how many people move on from cannabis to harder drugs at some point in their life.

Notice that I didn't claim that people were going to become addicted or anything, I just said that he might not know about it if she moves on to harder drugs.


New member
Jan 23, 2009
VGC USpartan VS said:
Just get rid of her. I know a kid whose parents are pot heads... he just isn't... I don't know what to say. He just dosen't WORK. Not to mention pot ruined my uncle's life so I suggest you should stay away from the drug in anyway possible.
No offence bud but your uncle ruined his own life. I've said this in a thread a lot like this a long time ago, Drugs don't destroy people's lives, people destroy people's lives, if a person wants to ruin themselves they will, whether its cutting, smoking excessively, or drinking themselves into a grave.

Now on topic: I don't really know, I'd probably get more into the habit, but still use my sense of moderation.

And let it be known that I have never been involved in such activities as: Stoned Laser tag, stoned baking, and stoned arts and crafts.... but I hear they are quite fun and would be great partner bonding >.>


New member
Nov 5, 2008
I suspect that talking to her about reducing how much she smokes will just end badly. She'll be mad and think you're trying to rule her life, since smoking is a big part of it. Honestly, I'd dump her, but that's me.

I guess if you want to work it out with her just try to see what happens and don't get mixed up in her business. And if you literally CAN'T be around her and her drug use because of some legal mess you're in, I highly recommend just breaking it off. It'll get back to you eventually.


New member
Jan 12, 2010
THAC0 said:
so, i met this girl.

we got along great, blah blah blah, now we are dating. It wasn't like either of us were looking for a relationship, but we ended up in one. not only that, but over the last couple of months we have gotten far more serious than we ever intended.

problem is, she's a pothead. I don't mean she smokes a bit of pot from time to time. I mean she is a freaking stoner that gets high several times each day.

now, i don't really have a problem with it, but it isn't my thing either. I confess to getting high a couple of times when i was younger, but i grew out of it and never really got into the scene. But since she and her friends think that pot is a lifestyle, that kinda puts us in separate spheres.

now, ignoring the fact that i don't really get the whole 420 culture and all that stuff. I have a couple of reason that would make it very very detrimental for me to get caught anywhere close to an illegal drug. and if you agree or not, pot is an illegal drug where i live.

so, how would you guys play this?
do i just go with it and hang out with her and her pothead buddies doing what ever it is potheads do when they are not playing hacky sack and talking about evil corporations?

or do i just insist that she respect my reasons to not want to associate with something that could really really screw me up worse than the average person?

A lot of people are throwing their opinions on pot in your face here - might I suggest we look at what concerned "you" in your post and ask a series of questions which you answering might help you come to an answer? That way it will help you come to an answer relevant to you, not someone else.

I don't normally comment on this kind of thread but you seem a bit torn here, so maybe this will help you clear your own mind, rather than have us cram our opinions down your throat. You seem to have 3 main queries 1) Legal, 2) Health, the most important 3)Social/emotional.

1) Legal. This comes in 2 forms, a) How is it done, and b) where are you
a) If it is done publicly, on public premises, being grown, or used in a way that causes a disturbance, or involves other drugs or many other people, then the seriousness increases. Otherwise, the legal ramifications depend primarily on where you are (assuming it becomes a problem).

b) Only you know where you live. But where I live in the UK getting caught in your own home generally warrants at most a warning, unless you have a criminal record, or a crazy enough to risk yourself driving. As such, it isn't a huge problem unless you are caught twice. Especially if you were not doing it yourself. While technically illegal in most parts of the world, most police won't care unless you rub it in their faces or give them reason to, as they are busy people. However, only you know how big a problem this is for you.

2) Health. Occasional smoking has no proven long term effects unless you have a preexisting condition. However repeated use can become a problem. If she is doing it too much, you might try asking her to reduce it for your sake. This will partly show how committed she is. Giving her alternatives might help as well. You might want to consider - do you dislike her when she is stoned? Is it a problem for you? Does it effect you a lot? These are things to consider

3) Social. If you dislike her stoner friends, asking her to give them up is a lot to ask anyone. Meeting other people who aren't stoners might help. If not, you might want to consider how much of her habit do you dislike? A particular part? All of it? How much does it matter to you in the short versus long term? It clearly is a problem for you - whether it should be is somewhat secondary at this point. But you might want to consider a compromise solution and see if it works, and work from there.

Only you can answer these, and weigh the issues in your mind separately. But by answering these questions in these ways, you can come up with an answer that is best for you. Good luck!


New member
Jul 12, 2010
MrJohnson said:
ITT: People who are basing all their knowledge of marijuana off of 40 year old biased and unprofessional studies with doctored results. Have fun believing studies sponsored with a bias in mind by the government, and with results tainted by entirely unrealistic expectations of smokers and their environment i;e, exposing monkeys 24/7 to smoke, forcing gas masks on the monkey forcing them to inhale nothing but smoke for minutes at a time and depriving them of oxygen.

Also, learn to biology. THC is made up off non-toxic elements naturally found in the human body just not in the same composition. The entire result of smoking marijuana is caused by the activation of CB1 and CB2 receptors in the brain. Completely harmless and does not affect your brain chemistry a bit. In relatively infrequent/smaller amounts than most "stoners" smoke of course. Never mind the fact that self-described "stoners" make up less than 10% of all smokers in the world and that half of the adults you looked up too probably smoked infrequently. And that hundreds of thousands of successful American adults kept up their habit of smoking from when they were younger.

But you know, have fun not actually studying or learning anything for yourself. The basic biology behind marijuana is too complicated for the collection of high horsing pretentious armchair intellectuals in this community to take the time to understand or study at all.

In summary, non-prescription pain-killers and cold medicines, mostly cold medicines really, do far harsher damage to your liver with regular usage than marijuana does to your lung or brain.

To add one last thing to prove that when I say, "In summary" or "Also" I mean I have two more things to add, the receptors activated by THC can help block the spread of cancers in the brain and lung and even the spread of Alzheimers associated amyloid-beta peptide formations.

TL;DR Flame bait for all the arm-chair intellectuals and white knights who know little to nothing about subjects they pretend to be experts on a website about video games to make themselves feel better about how little satisfaction they have with their life overall.
if i knew where you were i'd hug for posting that.


New member
May 21, 2008
So the way it sounds is that when you're not around she's getting high all the time, and while she'll sober up to hang out with you and your friends, you feel awkward around her friends because of their unadulterated drug use. It sounds to me like your relationship is fine, so long as she's not hopelessly addicted and unable to function, but if she can afford to be a pot head without being a rampant mooch then she must be doing well enough.

As far as negative affects on your lives, the only one of any real consequence is getting busted. It's important to realize that if she goes down for possession, unless she confesses to everything you may very well go down for it too. With responsible and cautious use, your chances of being arrested are slim, but in proportion to the consequence they are definitely non trivial. I'd make a point of not letting her smoke in your home and when you're in public together and only hanging with her friends when it's a nice quiet gathering. That'd reduce your chances of being busted to an acceptable level.


New member
May 26, 2009
Flamezdudes said:
My uncle's life was also ruined by pot and alchohol. :/
No. Your uncle ruined HIS OWN life with pot and alcohol.

OP : Only you can decide wether she is worth it. One piece of advice though, try and keep an open mind even though she's obviously abusing the drug.


New member
Apr 24, 2010
Not sure if I missed some in the OP but how old are you two?
Also how did you not find out until after you too were together?

But anyways... There's always hope she'll eventually grow out of it, or tone it down.
You shouldn't try to change her, especialy if the relationship is still new.
All you can really do is make light suggestions over time.


New member
Sep 24, 2010
Rather than just leave her you could actually talk to her about this. While by no means an easy conversation, and one that could very easily lead to break-up...tell her that you don't see this relationship lasting if drugs will always be in the picture. Offer her your help in trying to get past that need to escape. If she's willing to try, great.


New member
Oct 19, 2010
Pot isn't dangerous (unlike some peoples believes) but long time overuse can be harmfull (unlike some other people believe).
You ask for advice, so I'm giving it.
Don't second guess to confront her about it. Especially if I would really like her. Just see how that turns out. Don't ask her to stop (why would you do that?), but ask her to slow down. You can't and don't want to keep up.
Don't be a puss and go along with it. Like I said (and you too but in different words) you can't and don't want to keep up. If you can somehow find a way so that she can do her thing, and you not getting associated with it, then that's fine (not what I would recommend, but okay). But don't go along with her.
Personally I think you have the right to be offended if she wouldn't slow down for you.
Pot isn't a drug you get addicted to (many times less adictive then cigarettes). So it be pretty lame if she won't slow down.
Owh and UNLESS you really love her and all, dump her the second she starts using anything serious. (Though I must admit I know a few people who did harder and came out fine.)


New member
May 23, 2010
Don't deal with it. If you don't like it, don't pretend that you do. If you want to try and get her out of it or just leave is up to you.


New member
Aug 20, 2009
NinjaDeathSlap said:
You got this far with her without it coming between you, who's to say it'll ever become an issue. You don't have to do it just because she does and who says she'll ever ask you to.

PS: Stick with it. Cause from what I know of stoner girls, you have struck gold my friend.
And what do you know of stoner girls? They put out? Big whoop, they smell nasty and rarely think. At least the ones I know.


New member
Jul 2, 2009
DasUberCow said:
No. Your uncle ruined HIS OWN life with pot and alcohol.
More likely it was "ruined" in some other way and he tried to block the pain with pot and alcohol.


New member
Apr 28, 2011
Wow! Intense thread... I was going to post something related to the question at hand, but I cannot really add to anything that has allready been said.

What I will say (or repeat what others have said) is; talk to her about it.

And as for you being in the military, (I'm not sure what it's like in the USofA, but) in the UK, normally when you're in and 'passed out' (or whatever you call it over the pond), and have been shipped out, normally a bit of passive smoking doesn't do any harm. Hell from what I have heard, from a Sargent mate, if you're going anywhere like Afgan, the place is full of the stuff, fields higher than tanks!

I say stick with it, you like her, she likes you, good match I say, and hey some people enjoy a good binge drink and some like to smoke, there the same thing, just a release from the reality around us, except ones illegal in most countries. As for me, I can't stand drinking, hense I sometimes smoke. Nuff Said...


New member
Oct 18, 2004
For me this whole thing would really be a non issue. I don't smoke the stuff, nor even approve of it. However It's not really my place to tell someone not to smoke weed unless it actually effects me in some way. And where I live the substance is de-criminalised so there's alot less worry about legal issues.


New member
Apr 11, 2011
I hate to say this, but i think it would be best to not associate with people like that....unless she gets help or gets off the drugs i'd have to say you leave her. Nothing good will come out of this unless it gets fixed, better to leave now while things are less complicated...