my gf is a pothead

[ThrobbingEgo]

problem is, she's a pothead. I don't mean she smokes a bit of pot from time to time. I mean she is a freaking stoner that gets high several times each day.

Look, I don't smoke anything. I don't think it's a particularly good idea.

That said, if you can't respect someone, you shouldn't be dating her. You didn't say, "my girlfriend smoke marijuana," or even, "my girlfriend has a marijuana problem." You said, "my girlfriend is a pothead." She is "a stoner." You're directly labeling her with something you seem to have a lot of disdain for.

Do you like her? Do you actually have feelings for her? If she said, "I smoke pot. Deal with it or leave," would you stay or go? Do you only have disdain for her friends?

 

[intheweeds]

It depends on the person and what they do with it. Personally i smoke several times a day, but i also program computers, chef a restaurant and do financial paperwork for a consulting company.
For the record:
WE DON'T ALL PLAY HACKEY SACK ALL DAY!

You don't have to smoke pot to be a lazy loser with no job. You can do that all on your own!

 

[Professor James]

...hell, maybe even try it with her, imagine how much she'd like that. Not to mention cannabis is far from bad, research shows it has a lot of positive uses.

These forums make me laugh how if you promote game piracy you get a warning/ban, but if you start encouraging using illicit substances then most you get is a few people going 'yeah! fight the power!.'.

It's something that amazes me too, but I assume it's because the site only exists becuase of games, so naturally anything threatening games is going to be treated harshly.

They don't really encourage the use of illicit substances, though, so what you're saying is a bit of an exaggeration Most users here are anti-drug, anyway.

I'm sorry but you made me laugh for 2 straight minutes. look at this thread [http://www.escapistmagazine.com/forums/read/18.77902-Poll-Should-Marijuana-be-legal?view_results=1] hell look at this very own thread. If anything this site is pro drug.

 

[2012 Wont Happen]

If she insists on smoking pot around you, dump her. If she'll make concessions to keep her habit away from you, then keep her.

If you really want her. If not just go ahead and leave her.

 

[Ericb]

ITT: People who are basing all their knowledge of marijuana off of 40 year old biased and unprofessional studies with doctored results. Have fun believing studies sponsored with a bias in mind by the government, and with results tainted by entirely unrealistic expectations of smokers and their environment i;e, exposing monkeys 24/7 to smoke, forcing gas masks on the monkey forcing them to inhale nothing but smoke for minutes at a time and depriving them of oxygen.

Also, learn to biology. THC is made up off non-toxic elements naturally found in the human body just not in the same composition. The entire result of smoking marijuana is caused by the activation of CB1 and CB2 receptors in the brain. Completely harmless and does not affect your brain chemistry a bit. In relatively infrequent/smaller amounts than most "stoners" smoke of course. Never mind the fact that self-described "stoners" make up less than 10% of all smokers in the world and that half of the adults you looked up too probably smoked infrequently. And that hundreds of thousands of successful American adults kept up their habit of smoking from when they were younger.

But you know, have fun not actually studying or learning anything for yourself. The basic biology behind marijuana is too complicated for the collection of high horsing pretentious armchair intellectuals in this community to take the time to understand or study at all.

In summary, non-prescription pain-killers and cold medicines, mostly cold medicines really, do far harsher damage to your liver with regular usage than marijuana does to your lung or brain.

To add one last thing to prove that when I say, "In summary" or "Also" I mean I have two more things to add, the receptors activated by THC can help block the spread of cancers in the brain and lung and even the spread of Alzheimers associated amyloid-beta peptide formations.

TL;DR Flame bait for all the arm-chair intellectuals and white knights who know little to nothing about subjects they pretend to be experts on a website about video games to make themselves feel better about how little satisfaction they have with their life overall.

I don't really quote posts this big, but in this case I believe it's worth it.

Thank you for sparing me the hassle of having to post and be responded with biased uninformed bs. =]

Aye, ye cannae be living with someone who conflicts with yer beliefs like tha'.

'xactly! Yer na a bloody miracle worker! Ye cannae break th' laws o' physics!

Is it Talk-Like-A-Pirate day already?

 

[Burck]

As a fairly frequent smoker of 'da magical erb meself, and having family and friends whose lives have been ruined by drugs, ask her to calm the fuck down. Nothing good comes out of smoking that much, and smoking that much just isn't even fun anymore. Trust me, I used to be like that. Get her not to smoke for like a month, and then tell her she can smoke again. She will be in awe of how much better her high is.

Anyway, pot rarely ruins peoples lives as we need all kinds of different folks to make the world go round and if someone can live their life happily minimum waging, tokin up good for them. I'm getting my Doctorate right now.

Edit: Goddamn, I know why I left this community now. Get off your high horses you stupid asses. Have fun having little close or good friends due to your constant insistence you're better than everyone. Introverts are the fucking worst type of people, especially since you think you're the ones who invent and do anything ignoring actual historical precedence.

Good feedback, both on-topic and off-topic.

Although the problem of our OP needing to avoid being associated with any illegal activity makes the problem a bit tougher: even if she smokes pot less, there could still be trouble for his job (that's what he was implying, right?).

This would be a good compromise though, thanks for the insight.

To the OP,
I would suggest taking this course of action and seeing if things improve.

If you feel like you have legitimate reasons to not associate with your GF's friends, then don't. If your GF can live with this, then I wish you the best. If it imperils your career, then, well, you'll just have to choose which means more to you, and I think you can answer that question best.

 

[Loki Cain]

Theres nothing wrong with smoking weed, i smoke weed all the time, most everyday a few times a day, do i consider it a life style? Not really no more then i consider wearing cloths a lifestyle, or going to school a life style, or going to work a lifestyle, or making money in general a lifestyle. If you like the girl stay with her. If not then ill would sure take her... she sounds like the exact type of girl i'm looking for.

 

[bruunwald]

Anytime there is a major voluntary lifestyle issue that one partner cannot agree with, or to, or tolerate, the relationship is doomed, and that is as it should be. I give the same advice whether it is a matter of one person loving pot and the other wanting nothing to do with it, whether one is in the military and the other has no respect for that institution, or whether one person loves Dungeons & Dragons and his fiancee thinks it is stupid and that she will "change him" once they are married (which comes up an awful lot, let me tell you).

Anytime one of us loves something and our significant other doesn't, can't understand why we do, and has no respect for that thing or our love for it, we all need to come totally clean with that information, find out if it is a game changer, and if it is, end it. There. Now.

Because we cannot change each other and we cannot pretend to go along with something that is antithetical to who we are.

 

[Nukey]

...hell, maybe even try it with her, imagine how much she'd like that. Not to mention cannabis is far from bad, research shows it has a lot of positive uses.

These forums make me laugh how if you promote game piracy you get a warning/ban, but if you start encouraging using illicit substances then most you get is a few people going 'yeah! fight the power!.'.

It's something that amazes me too, but I assume it's because the site only exists becuase of games, so naturally anything threatening games is going to be treated harshly.

They don't really encourage the use of illicit substances, though, so what you're saying is a bit of an exaggeration Most users here are anti-drug, anyway.

I'm sorry but you made me laugh for 2 straight minutes. look at this thread [http://www.escapistmagazine.com/forums/read/18.77902-Poll-Should-Marijuana-be-legal?view_results=1] hell look at this very own thread. If anything this site is pro drug.

I'm basing my statement on the reactions in this thread and from what I've observed in the community during my time here, which seem to be leaning towards anti-drug use for the most part.

Also, just something I thought I'd point out, that thread is about legalization whereas this one seems to be revolving around use. You can say you tolerate something and not have to use it yourself; much like how many support gay rights, but they themselves are straight.

 

[Rule Britannia]

The moral thing to do would be to leave her on the basis she is a pot head.
Back into the real world.... Stick with it, if you find that you have a ton in common and you think he could go far perhaps attempt to ween her off it?

 

[CrazyCapnMorgan]

Just get rid of her. I know a kid whose parents are pot heads... he just isn't... I don't know what to say. He just dosen't WORK. Not to mention pot ruined my uncle's life so I suggest you should stay away from the drug in anyway possible.

Ahhh, the combination of ignorance and hyperbole. I do so love that smell.

Pot isn't dangerous. People and their retarded addictive personalities are.

Cannabis is no more addictive than pringles.

OT:

It's entirely your choice. As with any substance. Discretion is advisable and if you really don't want to get involved with it don't. But if you think she's worth it, just tolerate her choice and accept it as a part of her that you dislike.

(sidenote) The amount of idiots on this thread spewing ignorant bias and hyperbole, as if weed is like freaking crack or meth. Well it reminds me where I am. 'If it aint legal, It's clearly WRONG!!!!

Thank you, thank you, thank you!

And now, time to reinforce this.



Pry your third eye open, people.

 

[gideonkain]

She smokes pot and you secretly judge her for it --I'm thinking things aren't going to work out for you guys.

 

[Tsaba]

snip

Just be polite and tell her your feelings on the matter, if she can't respect your feelings on this, whats to say she won't respect you on something else more drastic. It takes two to tango and since you don't want to be near that or want any part of it, it's doomed to fail if that's such a big piece of her life style. Do yourselves a favor and end it now while your both on such good terms.

 

[jaketheripper]

so, i met this girl.

we got along great, blah blah blah, now we are dating. It wasn't like either of us were looking for a relationship, but we ended up in one. not only that, but over the last couple of months we have gotten far more serious than we ever intended.

problem is, she's a pothead. I don't mean she smokes a bit of pot from time to time. I mean she is a freaking stoner that gets high several times each day.

now, i don't really have a problem with it, but it isn't my thing either. I confess to getting high a couple of times when i was younger, but i grew out of it and never really got into the scene. But since she and her friends think that pot is a lifestyle, that kinda puts us in separate spheres.

now, ignoring the fact that i don't really get the whole 420 culture and all that stuff. I have a couple of reason that would make it very very detrimental for me to get caught anywhere close to an illegal drug. and if you agree or not, pot is an illegal drug where i live.

so, how would you guys play this?
do i just go with it and hang out with her and her pothead buddies doing what ever it is potheads do when they are not playing hacky sack and talking about evil corporations?

or do i just insist that she respect my reasons to not want to associate with something that could really really screw me up worse than the average person?

im tired of all this "hurr durr pot is bad" (not from op, from the replies lol) pot doesnt ruin your life, i work perfectly fine and im similar to op's girlfriend, i have at least bs in almost all ap and honors classes.

honestly op, talk to her and see if you guys can chill sometimes without pot(if its really as serious as you say, she will respect you), or just deal with it. Hell, go on and smoke every once in a while, does your mind some good. Assuming you have some self control(unlike half of the posters in this thread), it wont "ruin" your life. thats also assuming you wanna. Im not sure i agree with the whole 'growing out of it' thing though. feels like you are implying that its immature. oh well. She honestly shouldn't be too much of a problem.

Now, on the whole gateway drug topic, assuming that its a worry, is bullshit. People us pot as a scapegoat to cover up their mistakes. thats all it is.

i apologize for all of the assumptions. I have quite a few thoughts racing in my head at the moment, im just throwing things out and hoping that they are somewhat relevant.

 

[ZeLunarian]

She smokes pot and you secretly judge her for it --I'm thinking things aren't going to work out for you guys.

Unfortunately this sounds to be true. But lets leave that on one side of the coin.

On the other hand (and to address the op) you got into the relationship and have gotten this far without asking people who don't honestly know much about your life.

Seems to me that you are here because of a concern of other's opinion. Tis between you and her. Surely you're a big enough boy to make these decisions on your own ^^

Best of luck however~

 

[The_root_of_all_evil]

I think you are very much mistaken. As a smoker and a functioning member of society I stand as testament to proof against your assumptions.

As am I. I didn't say it created retards, I said that it enables retardation to occur. Occasional use is still illegal, but acceptable - depending on your tenents. As a lifestyle? That's the sign it's going down hill.

It's cheaper, doesn't make one as crazy, and is typically done by those who have the money to spare for it. One usually doesn't hear of "pot whores.".

Anyone who does crack isn't even an issue. And "pot whores" are the ones who use MJ as a gateway. (Note "use", not "coerced")

That said, I really wish some of my friends didn't do pot. It just isn't good for them.

Exactly. I did say to give her a chance.

Don't you think that's a bit slippery slope argument if we're just talking about pot, and nothing else?

Occasional usage. Fine. Frequent usage has already started the slope.

Trust me, personal experience. It does happen.

 

[The_root_of_all_evil]

LOL, please site one example of anyone ever stealing from loved ones or selling their bodies for pot, ever. I don't smoke anymore, but seeing ignorant people like you makes me need a puff.

A member of my family. Would you care to retract your insinuation now?

 

[PinkiePyro]

I would dump her could refect badly on you later