THAC0 said:
so, i met this girl.
we got along great, blah blah blah, now we are dating. It wasn't like either of us were looking for a relationship, but we ended up in one. not only that, but over the last couple of months we have gotten far more serious than we ever intended.
problem is, she's a pothead. I don't mean she smokes a bit of pot from time to time. I mean she is a freaking stoner that gets high several times each day.
now, i don't really have a problem with it, but it isn't my thing either. I confess to getting high a couple of times when i was younger, but i grew out of it and never really got into the scene. But since she and her friends think that pot is a lifestyle, that kinda puts us in separate spheres.
now, ignoring the fact that i don't really get the whole 420 culture and all that stuff. I have a couple of reason that would make it very very detrimental for me to get caught anywhere close to an illegal drug. and if you agree or not, pot is an illegal drug where i live.
so, how would you guys play this?
do i just go with it and hang out with her and her pothead buddies doing what ever it is potheads do when they are not playing hacky sack and talking about evil corporations?
or do i just insist that she respect my reasons to not want to associate with something that could really really screw me up worse than the average person?
A lot of people are throwing their opinions on pot in your face here - might I suggest we look at what concerned "you" in your post and ask a series of questions which you answering might help you come to an answer? That way it will help you come to an answer relevant to you, not someone else.
I don't normally comment on this kind of thread but you seem a bit torn here, so maybe this will help you clear your own mind, rather than have us cram our opinions down your throat. You seem to have 3 main queries 1) Legal, 2) Health, the most important 3)Social/emotional.
1) Legal. This comes in 2 forms, a) How is it done, and b) where are you
a) If it is done publicly, on public premises, being grown, or used in a way that causes a disturbance, or involves other drugs or many other people, then the seriousness increases. Otherwise, the legal ramifications depend primarily on where you are (assuming it becomes a problem).
b) Only you know where you live. But where I live in the UK getting caught in your own home generally warrants at most a warning, unless you have a criminal record, or a crazy enough to risk yourself driving. As such, it isn't a huge problem unless you are caught twice. Especially if you were not doing it yourself. While technically illegal in most parts of the world, most police won't care unless you rub it in their faces or give them reason to, as they are busy people. However, only you know how big a problem this is for you.
2) Health. Occasional smoking has no proven long term effects unless you have a preexisting condition. However repeated use can become a problem. If she is doing it too much, you might try asking her to reduce it for your sake. This will partly show how committed she is. Giving her alternatives might help as well. You might want to consider - do you dislike her when she is stoned? Is it a problem for you? Does it effect you a lot? These are things to consider
3) Social. If you dislike her stoner friends, asking her to give them up is a lot to ask anyone. Meeting other people who aren't stoners might help. If not, you might want to consider how much of her habit do you dislike? A particular part? All of it? How much does it matter to you in the short versus long term? It clearly is a problem for you - whether it should be is somewhat secondary at this point. But you might want to consider a compromise solution and see if it works, and work from there.
Only you can answer these, and weigh the issues in your mind separately. But by answering these questions in these ways, you can come up with an answer that is best for you. Good luck!