Okay, no disrespect strangemoose, but whenever I look at one of these sort of questions I keep in mind that I'm only looking at half the story. I think there may well possibly be a miscommunication here. As a parent with a young daughter I have think I might know where your mom is coming from. The stuff about loving you is coming from her concerns about what she's probably been hearing from her friends about the stuff kids get up to on facebook and similar sites, drinking parties, etc. She feels that if you loved her you'd respect her concerns and let her in.
This is a bit of conjecture, but she sounds like she's not very tech-savvy because she doesn't know that getting friended can mean less than nothing, because you can block her access to almost everything.
My suggestion is to sit down with her and have a civilised discussion as you show her around your facebook account. Set the ground rules first:
1. She'll listen to you without interrupting while you explain.
2. She won't get offended or angry if she doesn't understand something, you're not trying to confuse her, it's just that this stuff is easy for you and you've grown up with it.
3. She can ask clarifying questions if she doesn't understand.
4. She won't make assumptions. If she sees something that concerns her then she'll ask about it rather than assuming the worst or going off half-cocked.
5. She will trust you and what you say, and will not take the word of some hysterical network TV host out to boost ratings over yours.
Then take her through your facebook page slowly (very slowly if she's not tech savvy, it felt like a million years when I did this with my parents when I was a teenager.. although it wasn't facebook then, it was trying to explain how a bulletin board worked). Give a brief overview, then take her through some of your apps etc. Now you might want to "clean up" a little before this, hide the results of your "sexual conquests" app, etc., the same way you'd hide that porno mag under your bed if you knew your mother was coming in. For me this doesn't fit into the category of dishonesty, but rather just simple courtesy in preventing your mother from seeing something that might upset her. Leave some minor offenses on the page, some swearing or something like that, something that she can frown over and mutter about, and feel you haven't cleaned up, because otherwise she'll be suspicious. Mom's aren't happy without something to complain about
.
Let her ask questions. Let her have the mouse for a little while, but explain that a careless click might accidently remove some of your friends, mess up your settings, etc, so please be careful. This will give her the feeling that you're giving her "unrestricted" access.
Now that you've shown her you've nothing to hide explain that having your mom as your facebook friend isn't "cool", and your friends will tease you about it at school, plus they'll always be editing their comments because they know you'll read them. It'll be like having her in the room all the time, and that's a massive invasion of your personal space, so while you love her dearly you really do need her to give you your space and privacy.
It may be that one of her friends' children has allowed their mom onto their facebook page and you can explain that that's their personal choice, and in all likelihood they've severely restricted what their parents can "see" by using groups (explain that this isn't possible from the main account, which is why you logged her on and showed you around your page... this is a bit of a fib, but it'll make her feel better and superior to her friend so it works in your favour). If she pushes the issue just remind her that you're not a brilliant pianist like the kid down the road, or fluent in 5 languages like some other mother's child, etc. You're yourself. You've shown her your love and respect by letting her into your private space and showing her around, but now you're drawing the line. This is something you need to do for yourself, and it's part of growing into a young adult, setting personal boundaries and discovering who you are yourself, and for that you need a bit of privacy.
