Need Some Imaginative Profanity? There's A (Cr)App For That

The Wooster

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Jul 15, 2008
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Need Some Imaginative Profanity? There's A (Cr)App For That


The popular profane dictionary, Roger's Profanisaurus, arrives on iOS to teach you terms like "Moss Cottage," "Porridge Gun" and "Clam Jousting."

Supposedly edited by the foul-mouthed comic character Roger Mellie, The Man on the Telly - a sexist, racist, drug-abusing parody of British TV presenters - Roger's Profanisaurus is a compendium of relentlessly juvenile slang that originally appeared in the satirical British mag, Viz. [http://www.viz.co.uk/] It's kind of like the Urban Dictionary [http://www.urbandictionary.com/], albeit with a focus purely on offensive language, and without any the former's educational value - definitions in the Profanisaurus are often as equally esoteric as the terms they're supposed to be defining.

Now, to the delight of teenage boys everywhere, you can extend your profane vocabulary on the fly, as Roger's Profanisaurus arrives on iOS, in spite of worries that it wouldn't get past Apple's stringent decency standards.

The official app store guidelines are a little vague when it comes to defining exactly what can get an App banned. "We will reject Apps for any content or behavior that we believe is over the line. What line, you ask? Well, as a supreme court justice once said, 'I'll know it when I see it'. And we think that you will also know it when you cross it," it says. "We view Apps different than books or songs, which we do not curate," continued the guide "If you want to describe sex, write a book or song, or create a medical app." In the past Apple has banned centuries-old imaginative-boinking-guide the Kama Sutra from the store. An earlier version of the Profanisaurus did it make it past Apple's policies back in 2009, albeit, before Apple updated them.

"I know it's going to be hugely popular," said Viz owner Felix Dennis. "It's not a dictionary (note: Yes it is), which is what everybody forgets. It's the longest-standing joke apart from Mornington Crescent, and it's all made up by readers. I think people are going to be getting this app out in the pub after they've had a few drinks."

Roger's Profanisaurus is available on the apps store right now and costs £1.49.

Source: The Guardian [http://www.guardian.co.uk/technology/2011/sep/06/viz-profanisaurus-iphone-app], as brought to my attention by Mike.

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Feb 13, 2008
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In the words of Roger Mellie:

"Hello, Good Evening and Bollocks."


Warning: Vulgarity, Violence and so NSFW that you'll be laughing your ass off.
 

rembrandtqeinstein

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Sep 4, 2009
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I try to switch it up but lately I've fallen back to "Balls" as my go-to swear word. I had a friend comment that it sounded "classy".
 

The Diabolical Biz

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Jun 25, 2009
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The_root_of_all_evil said:
BrotherRool said:
By the Lord Grovenor variation, I take a double step move to Ealing Broadway
I'll take Fenchurch by way of Victoria, Circle and District.
Sneaky bugger, trying to set up the diagonal!

I'll take the bait, and go for the conventional block of Burnt Oak.

Your move...
 

The Diabolical Biz

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Jun 25, 2009
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The_root_of_all_evil said:
Ok, I'll move my token to Victoria, BUT take the Northern line to King's Cross.
Interesting take on the famous 'Rushton's Gambit', give me a minute to think...

Well, if I take advantage of Tottenham Court Road being shut, and skip Leicester...yes, yes, Covent Garden!
 

BabyRaptor

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Dec 17, 2010
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If "Fuck me sideways" isn't good enough for the current frustration, I resort to Fallout:Equestria swears.

I do have some other weird ones, though. It seems to be a talent.