[img_inline align="center" caption="Surely, nothing wrong can come of this!"]http://media.giantbomb.com/uploads/0/3715/553154-xchangecover_large.jpg[/img_inline]
Welcome, welcome once again to a visual novel review! Now, as it happened, back when I was but a lad and wandering around with wide-eyed innocence at San Diego Comic Con 2009, I happened to stumble on a booth for an organization called J-List, an online company that clearly appeals to those very people who give western fans of anime their mostly undeserved, very creepy reputation.
Well...perhaps that's a bit unfair. They had legitimately interesting items on the opposite side of all the porn and hentai paraphernalia.
In any case, my interest in visual novels drew me to the booth, and, finding various gems (starting with the reputable and widely-praised Kana: Little Sister), I returned over the course of several days. In the interests of my not collapsing in shame, I won't mention how many I bought, but suffice to say, in all but one case I bought only those games who's good storytelling or gameplay reputations I'd heard of and researched (and some non-eroge VNs that came as free gifts).
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The protagonist of Xchange is Takuya Aihara, a high school student and a milquetoast close to the level of Shinji Ikari. Other than his parents, the only people who'd even give him the time of day are Asuka, his friend who wakes him up every morning, Mr. Miyagi (no, not that one), the single cool teacher in the school, and Asami, his sempai and the president and sole other member of the chemistry club. This meager existence works decently well, until a fateful day when Takuya accidentally splashes an unidentified chemical all over himself while cleaning the chem lab. Apparently, whatever the chemical was shared something in common with water from the Juusenkyo Spring of Drowned Girl, since immediately going home to shower off reveals that Takuya's voice is suddenly a few registers higher, and he has gained and lost certain aspects of human anatomy. How exactly will this affect his life, and how can he change back...
Xchange
I can guess what you're thinking. In my tentative defense, I've come across a other <url=http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ranma_1/2>stories that have done genderbending well for storytelling and comedic purposes, and the prospect of a VN with a male protagonist seeing from a female perspective was a genuinely interesting prospect. There's a bit of irony in that statement, but later. Let's get started.
Gameplay
Like others of the visual novel medium, Xchange is text and image sprite-based; in particular, it's the sort with the text box at the bottom of the screen and...you know what? I can't do this. I really can't. Xchange doesn't deserve to be described in segments when a simple sentiment would suffice.
This game is awful.
I feel compelled to point out what happens immediately after the aforementioned opening. Takuya's first reaction on finding he is a woman is incredulous touching...and then incredulous exploration...and then just plain old self-exploration. Nothing wrong there, it's pretty much expected, even if this wasn't an H-game. As Emily says in Misfile, "...if there's still a boy's brain in there, you probably spent the whole morning playing with your boobs."
Then, if you go on too long, your older stepsister finds you, finds you cute and vulnerable, and rapes you.
I took that to be a very bad sign for a game. Especially this one, since that situation gives an incredibly misleading impression. The rest of the game is actually even worse.
I'd say rape is a common theme in this game, but even I can only understate things so much. Play to any of the game's seven endings, and you will get raped a minimum of three times. It's just a question of who does it; literally, of everyone you meet besides Takuya's parents, there are only three characters who don't find you too irresistible not to take sexual advantage of (thankfully, one of those three is Mr. Miyagi, because I don't need that conflicting mental image..though he does accidentally lead you into a trap). Really, the game goes so far and to such lengths that you can almost, almost convince yourself that it reaches an redeeming level of sheer absurdity, finally reaching its peak when Takuya gets on a city bus going to school and somehow initially fails to notice that the bus' occupants are, to a man, overtaken in a completely unexplained orgy. It's the sort of situation that comes the fuck out of nowhere, has absolutely no bearing on the plot, and is never mentioned again. In That Guy with the Glasses parlance, it's a Big Lipped Alligator Moment of the highest order.
Then the game's endings ruin any semblance of humor or stealth parody, and the entire game is revealed to be merely terrible. A quick summary of the endings gets us...
1. Turn back into a man, relationship with Asuka. Happy ending.
2. Turn back into a man, relationship with Asami. Happy ending.
3. Sex toy for Asami. Stay a woman...mostly.
4. Sex toy for trio of horny art students. Stay a woman.
5. Sex toy for gym teacher, reputation ruined. Stay a woman.
6. Sex toy for school nurse and her slaves. Stay a woman.
7. Narrowly escape rape by stepsister's boyfriend, hospitalized by violent ***** of a stepsister, reputation ruined. Stay a woman.
I'm not sure whether ending 5 or ending 7 was the more infuriating. I think Tsukihime spoiled me; that game's (not erotic dream-related) rape scenes are not only played off as utterly disturbing rather than arousing, but it's the perpetrator who suffers in the end, not the victim. If there's one thing to say about Xchange's rape scenes, it's that they're always played straight. They're clearly supposed to be enjoyable to an extent, a revelation that sent me into a near-frothing rage at several points.
On the other hand, the game does have a few...well, "merits" isn't the right word. "Mercies," that's it. Mercifully, the game is incredibly short. For a game that's advertised to have seven endings worth of replay value, getting to a good ending (the longest paths) took only a half-hour, and I finished literally the whole thing in two hours (through a combination of disbelief and masochism). Granted, I was aided along in that by another of the game's mercies: the fast-forward button. I really didn't feel like reading scenes over again, even in spite of the third mercy: aside from genderbending and rape fantasies, there's nothing fetishistic about any of the sex; they manage to be morally disgusting without ever dipping into being physically disgusting.
Still, I think the only reason I haven't just burned this game - aside from not knowing whether CDs burn nor having the tools to burn one - is because of the final mercy: the 3 out of 15 sex scenes in the game that are consensual are actually pretty good. This includes both of the good endings, which go out of their way to cram in some acceptable character development, and even manage to be heartwarming to a big softie like myself.
Bottom line, though: this game is horrible, and its one bright spot is really not worth the time.
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<color=white>Line Break.
Of course, visual novels in general appeal to a very limited niche outside of Japan, so warning members of the Escapist about a certain terrible VN might seem about as logical as lecturing vampires on the dangers of skin cancer. However, considering <url=http://www.escapistmagazine.com/forums/read/326.128851#2774884>a certain other visual novel I've spoken for and <url=http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fate_Stay_Night>another one I plan to (and that <url=http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/MahouSenseiNegima>my favorite vampire walks around in daylight), it's useful to have experience with and an acknowledgment of a certain lack of quality. Xchange certainly isn't the worst VN out there, but it's definitely the worst I expect to play and the worst I plan to review (and the worst I can stand, really).
Incidentally, remember the irony of my interest in an eroge involving the sheer story potential of a male-turned-female protagonist? There's one interesting opinion I keep hearing, wherever I notice Xchange mentioned. The site where I read bishoujo game reviews, GameFAQs, TV Tropes, even the guy at the J-List booth who sold me this game, were all unanimous in one opinion: the second game is miles better. It's apparently got all the story, character development, and length I was hoping for in this game.
But like hell do I feel like searching for it, yet. Maybe I'll crack open A Drug That Makes You Dream...
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TYPE-MOON reviews:
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<url=http://www.escapistmagazine.com/forums/read/326.128851-TYPE-MOON-reviews-Tsukihime>Tsukihime
--- <url=http://www.escapistmagazine.com/forums/read/326.142352-TYPE-MOON-reviews-Shingetsutan-Tsukihime-anime>Shingetsutan Tsukihime (anime)
--- <url=http://www.escapistmagazine.com/forums/read/326.145022-TYPE-MOON-reviews-Lunar-Legend-Tsukihime-manga>Lunar Legend Tsukihime (manga)
- <url=http://www.escapistmagazine.com/forums/read/326.139628-TYPE-MOON-reviews-Kagetsu-Tohya>Kagetsu Tohya
- <url=http://www.escapistmagazine.com/forums/read/326.230960-TYPE-MOON-Reviews-Melty-Blood>Melty Blood
--- Re-Act/Act Cadenza
--- Actress Again
<url=http://www.escapistmagazine.com/forums/read/326.223721-TYPE-MOON-Review-anniversary-Fate-Stay-Night>Fate/Stay Night
--- Fate/Stay Night (anime)
----- Unlimited Blade Works
--- Fate/Stay Night (manga)
- Fate/Unlimited Codes
- Fate/Zero
<url=http://www.escapistmagazine.com/forums/read/326.304952-TYPE-MOON-Review-Anniversary-Kara-no-Kyoukai>Kara no Kyokai
Speculative: Fate/Hollow Ataraxia, Fate/Extra, Notes, DDD.
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Neutral Drow reviews:
___________________________________
<url=http://www.escapistmagazine.com/forums/read/326.130703-Neutral-Drow-reviews-Xchange>Xchange
<url=http://www.escapistmagazine.com/forums/read/326.135672-Neutral-Drow-reviews-A-Drug-That-Makes-You-Dream>A Drug That Makes You Dream
<url=http://www.escapistmagazine.com/forums/read/326.146260-Neutral-Drow-reviews-Heart-de-Roommate>Heart de Roommate
<url=http://www.escapistmagazine.com/forums/read/326.163769-Neutral-Drow-reviews-Kanon>Kanon
<url=http://www.escapistmagazine.com/forums/read/326.148564-Neutral-Drow-reviews-Little-My-Maid>Little My Maid
<url=http://www.escapistmagazine.com/forums/read/326.206764-Neutral-Drow-reviews-Kana-Little-Sister>Kana: Little Sister
<url=http://www.escapistmagazine.com/forums/read/326.252998-Neutral-Drow-reviews-Princess-Waltz>Princess Waltz
<url=http://www.escapistmagazine.com/forums/read/326.237875-Neutral-Drow-reviews-Crescendo>Crescendo
<url=http://www.escapistmagazine.com/forums/read/326.308335-Neutral-Drow-reviews-Symphonic-Rain>Symphonic Rain
Hourglass of Summer
Tokimeki Check-in
Casual Romance Club
True Love
Clannad
Family Project
Snow Sakura
The Sagara Family
Snow Drop
Brave Soul
Doushin - Same Heart
Sono Hanabira ni Kuchizuke wo
Da Capo
Da Capo II
Kira Kira
Speculative: Air, Galaxy Angel, Yu-No, Sumaga, Suika, Shimai Donburi, 11eyes, Ashita no Kimi to Au Tami ni
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Kinetic reviews:
___________________________________
Narcissu
Higurashi no Naku Koro ni
Umineko no Naku Koro ni
True Remembrance
Leaves
The Dandelion Girl
Tokoyo no Hoshizora
___________________________________
Off-Topic reviews:
___________________________________
<url=http://www.escapistmagazine.com/forums/read/326.151706-Lightning-Warrior-Raidy-a-Lordlee-and-Neutral-Drow-review>Lightning Warrior Raidy (collab. w/Lordlee)
<url=http://www.escapistmagazine.com/forums/read/326.158447-Off-Topic-Reviews-Devil-May-Cry-series>Devil May Cry series
- Devil May Cry 4 addendum
- DMC addendum
<url=http://www.escapistmagazine.com/forums/read/326.178061-Off-Topic-Reviews-Soulbringer>Soulbringer
<url=http://www.escapistmagazine.com/forums/read/326.194259-Off-Topic-Reviews-Ragnarok>Ragnarok
<url=http://www.escapistmagazine.com/forums/read/326.272426-Off-Topic-Reviews-Suguri>Suguri
<url=http://www.escapistmagazine.com/forums/read/326.385549-Off-Topic-Reviews-Ristar>Ristar
????
????
TYPE-MOON reviews:
___________________
<url=http://www.escapistmagazine.com/forums/read/326.128851-TYPE-MOON-reviews-Tsukihime>Tsukihime
--- <url=http://www.escapistmagazine.com/forums/read/326.142352-TYPE-MOON-reviews-Shingetsutan-Tsukihime-anime>Shingetsutan Tsukihime (anime)
--- <url=http://www.escapistmagazine.com/forums/read/326.145022-TYPE-MOON-reviews-Lunar-Legend-Tsukihime-manga>Lunar Legend Tsukihime (manga)
- <url=http://www.escapistmagazine.com/forums/read/326.139628-TYPE-MOON-reviews-Kagetsu-Tohya>Kagetsu Tohya
- <url=http://www.escapistmagazine.com/forums/read/326.230960-TYPE-MOON-Reviews-Melty-Blood>Melty Blood
--- Re-Act/Act Cadenza
--- Actress Again
<url=http://www.escapistmagazine.com/forums/read/326.223721-TYPE-MOON-Review-anniversary-Fate-Stay-Night>Fate/Stay Night
--- Fate/Stay Night (anime)
----- Unlimited Blade Works
--- Fate/Stay Night (manga)
- Fate/Unlimited Codes
- Fate/Zero
<url=http://www.escapistmagazine.com/forums/read/326.304952-TYPE-MOON-Review-Anniversary-Kara-no-Kyoukai>Kara no Kyokai
Speculative: Fate/Hollow Ataraxia, Fate/Extra, Notes, DDD.
___________________________________
Neutral Drow reviews:
___________________________________
<url=http://www.escapistmagazine.com/forums/read/326.130703-Neutral-Drow-reviews-Xchange>Xchange
<url=http://www.escapistmagazine.com/forums/read/326.135672-Neutral-Drow-reviews-A-Drug-That-Makes-You-Dream>A Drug That Makes You Dream
<url=http://www.escapistmagazine.com/forums/read/326.146260-Neutral-Drow-reviews-Heart-de-Roommate>Heart de Roommate
<url=http://www.escapistmagazine.com/forums/read/326.163769-Neutral-Drow-reviews-Kanon>Kanon
<url=http://www.escapistmagazine.com/forums/read/326.148564-Neutral-Drow-reviews-Little-My-Maid>Little My Maid
<url=http://www.escapistmagazine.com/forums/read/326.206764-Neutral-Drow-reviews-Kana-Little-Sister>Kana: Little Sister
<url=http://www.escapistmagazine.com/forums/read/326.252998-Neutral-Drow-reviews-Princess-Waltz>Princess Waltz
<url=http://www.escapistmagazine.com/forums/read/326.237875-Neutral-Drow-reviews-Crescendo>Crescendo
<url=http://www.escapistmagazine.com/forums/read/326.308335-Neutral-Drow-reviews-Symphonic-Rain>Symphonic Rain
Hourglass of Summer
Tokimeki Check-in
Casual Romance Club
True Love
Clannad
Family Project
Snow Sakura
The Sagara Family
Snow Drop
Brave Soul
Doushin - Same Heart
Sono Hanabira ni Kuchizuke wo
Da Capo
Da Capo II
Kira Kira
Yo-Jin-Bo
Sekien no Inganock
Wanko to Kuroso
My Girlfriend is the President
Sharin no Kuni
Cross Channel
Wind: A Breath of Heart
Brass Restoration
Ever17
Remember11
Ori Ochi Onoe
Shuffle
One
G-Senjou no Maou
Gadget Trail
Swan Song
Eien no Aselia
Phantom of Inferno
Kikokugai
River Trap
Autumn
Sengoku Rance
Daibanchou
ef
Neko Kawaigari
Adam: The Double Factor
Edelweiss
AoiShiro
Sekien no Inganock
Wanko to Kuroso
My Girlfriend is the President
Sharin no Kuni
Cross Channel
Wind: A Breath of Heart
Brass Restoration
Ever17
Remember11
Ori Ochi Onoe
Shuffle
One
G-Senjou no Maou
Gadget Trail
Swan Song
Eien no Aselia
Phantom of Inferno
Kikokugai
River Trap
Autumn
Sengoku Rance
Daibanchou
ef
Neko Kawaigari
Adam: The Double Factor
Edelweiss
AoiShiro
Speculative: Air, Galaxy Angel, Yu-No, Sumaga, Suika, Shimai Donburi, 11eyes, Ashita no Kimi to Au Tami ni
___________________________________
Kinetic reviews:
___________________________________
Narcissu
Higurashi no Naku Koro ni
Umineko no Naku Koro ni
True Remembrance
Leaves
The Dandelion Girl
Tokoyo no Hoshizora
___________________________________
Off-Topic reviews:
___________________________________
<url=http://www.escapistmagazine.com/forums/read/326.151706-Lightning-Warrior-Raidy-a-Lordlee-and-Neutral-Drow-review>Lightning Warrior Raidy (collab. w/Lordlee)
<url=http://www.escapistmagazine.com/forums/read/326.158447-Off-Topic-Reviews-Devil-May-Cry-series>Devil May Cry series
- Devil May Cry 4 addendum
- DMC addendum
<url=http://www.escapistmagazine.com/forums/read/326.178061-Off-Topic-Reviews-Soulbringer>Soulbringer
<url=http://www.escapistmagazine.com/forums/read/326.194259-Off-Topic-Reviews-Ragnarok>Ragnarok
<url=http://www.escapistmagazine.com/forums/read/326.272426-Off-Topic-Reviews-Suguri>Suguri
<url=http://www.escapistmagazine.com/forums/read/326.385549-Off-Topic-Reviews-Ristar>Ristar
????
????