No Right Answer: Most Idiotic Fictitious Corporation Ever

[Firefilm]

Most Idiotic Fictitious Corporation Ever

The American economy is still pretty shaky, and it's mostly due to American companies being the dumb. Fictional corporations are even dumber, yet they never seem to go out of business. Which one is the slowest kid on the playground?

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[Canadamus Prime]

I've never really been into the Resident Evil series, but I've got to go with Umbrella too. I mean it's one thing to try and capture vicious monsters and try and weaponize them; it's entirely another to CREATE vicious monsters and try and weaponize them.

 

[bafrali]

As soon as I read the title, my mind went straight to the Umbrella. Too much ZP I think.

 

[Imp_Emissary]

That one picture you used of the people in the pool is the same one my teacher used for her Written Communication class.

It was to represent people who don't follow instructions.

HA! This episode was Awesome! Thanks!

 

[Scars Unseen]

I wish Apple was a fictitious corporation...

*sigh*

 

[synobal]

Ya I had to pick umbrella, at least we know Weyland can do SOMETHINGS right. Like Terraforming worlds etc. Umbrella on the other hand, I honestly don't think they have anything outside the whole zombies are good.

 

[cynicalsaint1]

I have to say Kyle did a good job with Weyland-Yutani, but its just hard to deny them as being #2 to Umbrella whose entire business plan seems to be create evil monsters, and when doing so blows up in your face - make some more!

With Weyland-Yutani its at least not hard to imagine that they have plenty of other enterprises going on, and we're just seeing the stupid evil parts because that's just what the movies are about.

 

[Product Placement]

Without even watching the video, the answer is Weyland-Yutani

The main reason why Weyland-Yutani can't train the Xenomorphs to be their loyal hounds is because they inherit the memories of their parent. A conventional offspring is a blank slate that needs to spend its developing time learning to fend for itself, by its parents or other members of its race. It can be conditioned and trained to behave in desirable ways. We essentially take the role of the parent/alpha male and the animal accepts this as a fact. This is how us humans have been able to dominate and convert several species of animals into docile livestock/loyal servants.

A Xenomorph wakes up knowing exactly what it is, its purpose, what it needs to do to survive and that humans are nothing more than food-source/incubator. This is something that Weyland-Yutani wasn't fully aware of until the fourth film, when they created the Ripley/Xenomorph hybrid clone, who gained the ability of retaining the memories of the original Ripley.

The previous 3 films featured Weyland-Yutani's unsuccessful attempts to capture live specimens, to experiment with. It's not until the fourth film that they finally get to conduct said experiment. They went into this deal, fully expecting that the Xenomorphs could be trained like any conventional animal.

Weyland-Yutani can feign ignorance as their excuse. Umbrella Corp does not have that luxury.

 

[burningdragoon]

I think a better question is what company would be third most idiotic corporation. I can't think of any off the top of my head that would compare to these too.

 

[el_kabong]

Although Chris won the debate (as he should have, given that Umbrella is the obvious winner), I must nerd it up a little and say that a point should be deducted from Kyle. One of the point-winning arguments is concerning Alien: Resurrection, which Weyland-Yutani was not in.

(Further note: Special Edition has them being bought out years prior. Fans speculate that this COULD be a lie and that W-Y is still calling the shots, but it's along the lines of most conspiracy theories. The black and white text of the script is that USM is doing the stupid science-ing.)

 

[Mr. Omega]

But Umbrella (or at least Wesker) DID have a plan! The plan was COMPLETE. GLOBAL. SATURATION. *drawn out exhale*

In all seriousness: Yeah, the right choice won here, for all the right reasons. And as 6 and Revelations show, their legacy of dumb lives on...

Spoiler: And since I have the excuse...

Still, these two were the obvious choices. I wonder who a good third candidate would be?

 

[Firefilm]

But Umbrella (or at least Wesker) DID have a plan! The plan was COMPLETE. GLOBAL. SATURATION. *drawn out exhale*

In all seriousness: Yeah, the right choice won here, for all the right reasons. And as 6 and Revelations show, their legacy of dumb lives on...

Spoiler: And since I have the excuse...

Still, these two were the obvious choices. I wonder who a good third candidate would be?

Apeture science?

 

[CustomMagnum]

Although Chris won the debate (as he should have, given that Umbrella is the obvious winner), I must nerd it up a little and say that a point should be deducted from Kyle. One of the point-winning arguments is concerning Alien: Resurrection, which Weyland-Yutani was not in.

(Further note: Special Edition has them being bought out years prior. Fans speculate that this COULD be a lie and that W-Y is still calling the shots, but it's along the lines of most conspiracy theories. The black and white text of the script is that USM is doing the stupid science-ing.)

Actually, going by the logic that they should've only gotten points for stuff the company was actually involved with, Chris should've lost on the technicality that Umbrella didn't do half of the stuff he even mentioned, at least as far as the games (and cgi movies) are concerned (haven't seen more than just the Live action first movie). Umbrella was already closed down by the time that Las Plagas showed up in the series. That said, the fact that the Resident Evil universe has not one stupid corporation that's willing to breed monsters despite knowing by now that it results in everyone dying, but THREE of them is even stupider than if Umbrella had been around the entire time.

 

[Callate]

Thing is, though, Umbrella exists in a dumb universe. There is no one in the world of RE seemingly with the capability of saying, "Y'know what? This is a really bad idea. It's going to kill lots of scientists who are presumably at the top of their fields and could be making products that would actually turn a profit for our corporation, all so that we can become this evil monolithic overlord entity (by which I mean we'll be hunted to the ends of the Earth by every country that can still cobble together something resembling a military in the gasping shambles our stupid plans will make out of this world.) How about we work on making an erectile dysfunction drug or cloning people's dead pets or something instead?"

Weyland-Utani at least seems to exist in a universe some where people- possibly even their android slaves- have enough sense that eventually someone should go, "Yeah, two-hundred-plus years of catastrophic failures on this xeno-bio-weapon project is probably enough."

And yet they don't...

 

[Mr. Omega]

But Umbrella (or at least Wesker) DID have a plan! The plan was COMPLETE. GLOBAL. SATURATION. *drawn out exhale*

In all seriousness: Yeah, the right choice won here, for all the right reasons. And as 6 and Revelations show, their legacy of dumb lives on...

Spoiler: And since I have the excuse...

Still, these two were the obvious choices. I wonder who a good third candidate would be?

Apeture science?

Good call. Can't believe I didn't think of Apeture myself, especially since I was considering RED and BLU at some point.

 

[Rakor]

Now....I don't know enough in depth backstory of the Alien series to know the ins and outs of reasoning......but why did they want aliens? There does not seem like there would be alot of point to it. Maybe super-soakers filled with alien blood? I don't know, but it doesn't seem like there was that much point. I mean if they just wanted super badass creatures to kill people with........well they have cloning technology.....and it lets them mix species.....velociraptor troopers, anyone? Also not having an acid-proof container for creatures with ACID for BLOOD. At least Umbrella (as I understand it) was pretty much making the superman formula. It just goes wrong alot and they are dicks about it, but it's at least a clear goal. Also technically in the third movie they were trying to cure it....they're just dicks about it.

At least they aren't bathing the zombies in phasons.

 

[Shadow-Phoenix]

I'd choose Weyland because let's face it at least Umbrella went out and actually created multiple B.O.W's and viruses while Weyland has the worst obsession with grabbing a few Xenos and even then they only got a few in Resurrection and that also went up in smoke mere minutes into the film so they really are the worst out there.

 

[Waaghpowa]

"Every idiotic corporation is only as idiotic as the people that support them"

So like Apple? <--obvious joke.

 

[Azuaron]

For third, I'm definitely going to go with Aperture Science. I mean, they were trying to create shower curtains and ended up with the portal device and a robot that killed them all.

Of course, Black Mesa's physics experiments caused an alien invasion that resulted in the apocalypse...