North Korean Scientists Confirm That Unicorns Are Real

[Use_Imagination_here]

This is just gold. The most brilliant satire in the entire universe couldn't even BEGIN to compare to this.

There is now actually a country where at least a statistically significant portion of the population believes in unicorns.

 

[Zykon TheLich_v1legacy]

And the 2012 award for "most consistently misleading article titles" goes to.... Andy Chalk!

Good point. While this discovery may or may not be bullshit propaganda, no one says anything about unicorns being real (except in Andy Chalk's[?] headline), they've found an allegedly ancient site with some words written on it. It's like finding the words "Minotaur Lair" at Knossos.

 

[1337mokro]

Why do unicorns have lairs? Do other Equidae also live in caves?

This discovery raises so many questions! Like how far will North Korea go in indoctrinating it's citizens?

 

[SonicWaffle]

They know it's a unicorn lair because a rectangular rock with the words "Unicorn Lair" carved into it stands out front.

That might, just possibly, be my favourite thing I've ever read. I imagine some dude in a white coat, his face totally deadpan, explaining that to his superior.

"No, see, unicorn lair. How do we know? Well, because it says so. Right on that rock there. That's...I mean, we...it's science, right? You can't argue with science. Fuckin' unicorn lair"

 

[SonicWaffle]

And the 2012 award for "most consistently misleading article titles" goes to.... Andy Chalk!

Pfft. Andy has nothing on the guys who title articles on Cracked. My mind has never been blown there, not once, and rarely do I find anything they post "baffling".

 

[The Great JT]

This is why I love North Korea, they're completely 'nanners.

 

[Timedraven 117]

So is this suppose to add cool points to North Korea.

Either way, next thing on the list of mystical creature to rediscover is the Pegasus!

Everyone point and laugh at the retarded kid (North Korea) who no one on the bloc likes.

OT: This sounds like NK all right. What i don't get is why China is still friends with the fuckers. I mean all they have to do is punch them and they control the damn place. Everyone hates NK and China barely is at a alliance with them. They don't even need them anymore to be there, no one would care if the Chinese took it over.

China keep NK as cannon fodder.
They're fanatic and loyal, perfect cannon fodder.
They can armed "all" of their citizen(old, women, children) if need be, and those are willing to fight to the death too.
This is what made NK so dangerous. True, their technology is so out of date but their zerg rush tactic would be devastating.
And with China back them up, they're even more formidable.
Imagine you manage to fend of million of troops and realized that they didn't even send in their main force(which is even more massive and better armed)

The problem with cannon fodder in modern wars is that they are now in essence pretty useless. Advanced weaponry and highly trained soldiers will always fare much better. The low morale of the fodder would be devastated upon losses and the army may not like what they see. Without China however NK would easily be destroyed utterly.

 

[Mrkillhappy]

well, someone let a troll loose, a long time ago.

My thoughts exactly.

 

[90sgamer]

And the 2012 award for "most consistently misleading article titles" goes to.... Andy Chalk!

Pfft. Andy has nothing on the guys who title articles on Cracked. My mind has never been blown there, not once, and rarely do I find anything they post "baffling".

True, there is worse journalism that what The Escapist offers. The articles here are at least interesting, usually.

 

[IckleMissMayhem]

how the hell do you pronounce Sinjungdonggukyojisungnam?

Um... like it's spelt? XD

Did the lair of the unicorn look like this?;

Spoiler

I see no rectangular rock with the words "Unicorn Lair" carved into it. So I guess not. Shame though.


Nice to see that not much has changed in N. Korea since Kim-Jong-Un took over. I'd be disappointed if the place started being less batshit insane!

 

[Naeras]

I felt that this sorely needed to be added to the thread because it fits so well :V

 

[Coffeejack]

That is all well and good, but what about Rainicorns?!

Spoiler: It's a unicorn combined with a rainbow, how awesome is that!

Plain unicorns are so last year...like totally!

Counter with: Flight of stairs!

 

[Li Mu]

Do you think this is a Western ploy to try and rid our lands of Bronies? If we can trick them into all going to North Korea we may finally be free of their menace.

 

[Zykon TheLich_v1legacy]

I read the linked news article (and the excerpt on an archeology website I stumbled on when looking for my link), and the DPRK scientists are quite definitely saying that this is the lair of the unicorn ridden by King Tongmyong. That would indicate to me that they are claiming that unicorns are (or were, anyway) very real.

The word "legend" at the bottom indicates to me that they consider it to be just that.

"The discovery of the unicorn lair, associated with legend about King Tongmyong, proves that Pyongyang was a capital city of Ancient Korea as well as Koguryo Kingdom." (emphasis mine)

http://www.kcna.co.jp/item/2012/201211/news29/20121129-20ee.html

 

[Tiger Sora]

Did the lair of the unicorn look like this?;

Spoiler

The NK have found a portal to Equestria. We must invade and secure it immediately!!!

 

[Not Matt]

unicorns? What is next ?
Transylvanians prove that there are vampires ?
Norwegians prove there are trolls ?
Germans proves there are werewolves ?
Englishmen proves there are dragons ?
Actually I am down with all that, lead the way Kim Jong un.

This is kind of cool though. I would actually like to read a history books from north Korea. I bet I could pass it off as a comedy since they have modified history to make their leaders look like gods.

 

[Zulnam]

Yeah, this is how communism works.

Back in Romania's days, they used to "speculate" that the leader (Ceausescu) was the descendent of great Romanian historical figures. And not one; like two or three.

 

[whycantibelinus]

This seems legit.

I want them to investigate dragons next please!

Seconded.

Then I want them to clone unicorns and dragons and march to war. That'd be a terrifying sight.