Nuzlocke run: a story (chapter 1 up)

Dr.Poisonfreak

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Apr 6, 2009
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Hello there escapists, finally catching up I have decided to do it in the form of a story, in order to keep things interesting, however i would appreciate peoples suggestions as the game progresses for potential strategy in defeating gym leaders/catching certain pokemon etc.

Feedback would also be appreciated on my writing style.

With that in mind lets get rolling

So it begins..........

I wake up groggy and confused,as my eyes slowly adjust to the light I realise my mum is standin there with a smile on her face.

"Your letter from school arrived "

Then it became clear what she meant, a few days prior I had my graduation from pokeschool and was finally issued a trainer licence to legally obtain, train, breed and battle pokemon, it had finally arrived, which meant i could begin my journey.

All pokemon licences arrive with our details loaded onto them, but we have to see professor oak in order to verify them and collect our very first pokemon.
As i approached the pokemon lab, i was filled with trepidation, i opened the door and went in to find everyone hard at work , the professor was no exception, typing in complex computer coding.

He turned around from the computer and noticed me.

"Hello there and welcome to the exciting world of pokemon , my name is oak, people call me the pokemon professor"

"Hello there professor , I'm here to get my pokemon licence verified."

"ah splendid" he replied.

"First things first" he went on to say " the pokemon licence asks that you verify what you are using pokemon for, are you keeping them as pets, or using them for battles?"

"Battles" I replied.
"Excellent, and your name is..?"
"Martyn , professor" I replied.

" Ah yes young Martyn, Residing at 232 Pokeball lane ,Pallet town, correct?"
"Thats me sir" I replied

"Good good everything seems to be in order, here you go Martyn, your licence is ready to go,
now to get you your first pokemon"

As I approached the table, another boy, about my age came in to also get his licence verified,
the professor went through the same procedure with him as with me, but i paid no mind, his
verification wasn't anything to do with me so it would be rude to listen in on it.

As i approached the table I couldn't help but pause for though " the creatures in these pokeballs will help define the sort of person I become, this is a decision that requires careful thought",just as these thoughts were running through my mind, the boy finished his verification and came over to the table next to me, he put his hand hand out and as i shook it he introduced himself.

"Hi there my names Chris" he smiled, he was about 5"3 , with medium length spiked hair, in his eyes i saw the same passion i felt for pokemon.

"Martyn, pleased to meet you" I replied, there was something about this guy , but I just couldn't work out what it was.
The professor then came over and told Chris to step back so i could open the pokeballs and interact with each pokemon for a few minutes to get a feel for their personality, with this in mind i opened the pokeball on the far left of the table, and out popped a rare pokemon, a Charmander, an orange coloured lizard with flames at the end of its tail.

"hellohellohello , I'm charmander , please pick me i promise I'll be good i promise promise promise"

Man was this little guy hyperactive, i got the feeling that while he would be a good companion he would go in all guns blazing without thinking anything through, i liked the little guy but he wasn't for me.

Next up we have squirtle,another rare pokemon, a humble happy go lucky little turtle who seems to enjoy being in her own little world.As i spoke to her, she seemed almost oblivious to my existence. Preferring instead to focus on how wet she could get my shoes by blowing bubbles at them. Speaking to herhowever, she talked about her dream of meeting another of her kind
and as she said it I saw heart and passion, which are vital roles but unfortunately she lacked focus , which again made me think she wasn't ideal, but, as with charmander there was always a chance.

Lets open ball number 3

In box number 3 was the strangest pokemon of all, it was a dinosaur on four legs with what appeared to be a bulb growing out of his back,I recognised this pokemon at once as bulbasaur, feircely loyal but have a knack for distrusting.

"Hi there " I said to the little fella.

He looked at me quizzically , as if trying to figure me out.

He eventually responded with a simple "hi, who are you?", to which I replied " my name is martyn, i am a pokemon trainer.

"ok so what ? what do you want with me? I aint done anything wrong" I was taken back by this pokemons attitude, he was obviously more distrustful than i first thought.

But he almost seemed scared.

"I never suggested you had done anything wrong, why do you assume otherwise?"

" Hmph, people are always in here, checking out Oaks 'rare pokemon' but they always look through me, as if I'm not there , mention how hideous I am, as if I'm not there, make it seem like by just being there I've done something wrong, but the thing is, if just one person gave me a chance, didn't look at me as if i am a mistake, then i could prove that I am just as up to the task as the others. But then again who am i kidding? you're just like them, go on, pick your pokemon and just go, leave me to my own devices.

I looked at the professor, "I've made my decision professor, I choose bulbasaur"

The bulbasaur looked shocked " are you sure? I don't mind being left behind, in fact I expect it"

"Bulbasaur" i said " you demonstrated the most heart of any person or pokemon I have ever Known , I could not leave here without you"

For a brief moment i could have swore he flashed a smile, "ok martyn" said the professor, "if that is the pokemon you choose then please take the pokeball and step to the side so Chris can choose"

Chris stepped up and spoke to both pokemon respectively, and ended up choosing charmander, "what can i say? the little guy makes me smile" he said.

Then suddenly professor Oak released squirtle into the wild " this will be my last year as a pokemon licence verifier boys, it would be selfish of me to leave squirtle in that pokeball to die alone, so i set her free to fulfil her dreams"

He then continued " well boys now that's out of the way i want you to have these" he handed us each a strange metallic book with what appeared to be a camera on top.
"this is a pokedex, a high tech computer i have been working on for quite some time, i want you boys to do me a favour and collect as much data on pokemon as you can, all 150 if possible, and on that note boys i will leave you to get prepared for your journey, be careful, as there are forces in this world which extend beyond simple pokemon training"

We then left the professor and went outside the lab when Chris said " how about a battle Martyn, just to, ya know, get used to it?"

"Fine" i replied , "lets go"
If this is well received i will try to update it every other day or so.

EDIT: I will be playing pokemon BLUE


EDIT 2: forgot to check how my writing had copied from notepad, apologies.
 

PunkyMcGee

A Clever Title
Apr 5, 2010
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I would like to see the narrative shift as your first pokemon dies (as is the rules of Nuzlocke) or "murder" your first trainer (also as is the rules of nuzloke).

Edit: as is to your writing style...construct a proper paragraph as apposed to each sentence on it's own (it's was a bit distracting)
 

StealthyNinja

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Mar 11, 2010
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Cool a nuzlocke run! Try giving your future pokemonz personalities to keep things interesting.

Also, take captcha advice and introduce some filisquama htshm to the story
 

Dr.Poisonfreak

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Just for clarification purposes, i probably should have asked this earlier, would it be easier for people if i put new chapters as spoilers in the original posts? or as seperate posts of their own? please quote and let me know :)
 

PunkyMcGee

A Clever Title
Apr 5, 2010
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it may be easier to read if in the same post. and we just bookmark it and bump with feedback.
 

Dr.Poisonfreak

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Suilenroc said:
it may be easier to read if in the same post. and we just bookmark it and bump with feedback.
Works for me. will do the first proper chapter in the next hour or so.
 

PunkyMcGee

A Clever Title
Apr 5, 2010
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[HEADING=1]NEW CHAPTER UP[/HEADING]

(you shod do this every time Dr.Poisisonfreak)



Chris? your not fooling any one Gary.

one point...what did you name your Bulbasuar? or did I just overlook it?
 

Hippobatman

Resident Mario sprite
Jun 18, 2008
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Nuzlocke runs require you name your pokémon. Just a heads up.

Are you playing this on an emulator or the real thing?

If you're playing on an emulator, try to include some screenshots, just to spruce things up a bit. Also, try to check up on the proof-reading. Some small punctuation mistakes and capitalization errors. Nothing big, though. Keep writing!

I do not, however, appreciate the talking pokémon, but that may just be me.

And I do not appreciate the fact that you did not choose Charmander.

[sub]Ok, I'm done..[/sub]
 

Onyx Oblivion

Borderlands Addict. Again.
Sep 9, 2008
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Not gonna lie to you.

So far, this is reading like some bottom-of-the-barrel fan fiction to me.
 

Dr.Poisonfreak

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Suilenroc said:
[HEADING=1]NEW CHAPTER UP[/HEADING]

(you shod do this every time Dr.Poisisonfreak)



Chris? your not fooling any one Gary.

one point...what did you name your Bulbasuar? or did I just overlook it?
The naming i am working into it at the minute, just took me a little while to think of a name
Chapper said:
Are you playing this on an emulator or the real thing?

If you're playing on an emulator, try to include some screenshots, just to spruce things up a bit. Also, try to check up on the proof-reading. Some small punctuation mistakes and capitalization errors. Nothing big, though. Keep writing!

I do not, however, appreciate the talking pokémon, but that may just be me.

And I do not appreciate the fact that you did not choose Charmander.

[sub]Ok, I'm done..[/sub]
In order.

Emulator, will do any particular things you would like to see?

The talking pokemon made it a little bit easier to work with as i am not a writer in any way shape or form.

I always pick charmander thought i would be a bit different this time.

Onyx Oblivion said:
Not gonna lie to you.

So far, this is reading like some bottom-of-the-barrel fan fiction to me.
Appreciate the honesty , as stated above i am not a writer this is just something i thought i would try, every event that happens though is based on the game runthrough i am doing, i figured doing a bullet point list of what happens followed by "oh no, something died" would be a bit too boring, am trying to give the pokemon some relatable features so that when they die it actually matters.

but once again thanks for the honesty ^_^
 

Hippobatman

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Jun 18, 2008
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Dr.Poisonfreak said:
Super Effective Snip!
Because you're embarking on a Nuzlocke run choosing Bulbasaur may be forgiven. He is pretty strong in the early game.

As for the talking pokémon thing, try rather to make them imply their meaning through suggesting moves or growls. "Bulbasaur suddenly began rolling onto his backside and rubbing his belly. I promptly assumed he was hungry for a snack. After all, we had been walking through the countryside all morning."

Something like that would be better, in my opinion.
 

PunkyMcGee

A Clever Title
Apr 5, 2010
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Chapper said:
Dr.Poisonfreak said:
Super Effective Snip!
Because you're embarking on a Nuzlocke run choosing Bulbasaur may be forgiven. He is pretty strong in the early game.

As for the talking pokémon thing, try rather to make them imply their meaning through suggesting moves or growls. "Bulbasaur suddenly began rolling onto his backside and rubbing his belly. I promptly assumed he was hungry for a snack. After all, we had been walking through the countryside all morning."

Something like that would be better, in my opinion.
true that body language for the win (and to retcon just change all the talking parts with "as if to say...," and the like.