Obvious Scams on TV

[wordsmith]

*snip*

Dude, just so that you're aware, it is possible to earn higher education qualifications online. It's not a 20 minute tick-the-boxes job, admittedly, but it's called "distance learning". I'm doing a long distance Law degree because I couldn't afford to send myself to Uni. I work, then I have assignments to complete once a month. It's UK based, the Open University [http://www.open.ac.uk/].

Apply to an Online College today! I mean, it's not like you're going to work anywhere important, so why waste money you could be using to buy important crap like weed or Cheetos! And everyone knows that getting an education at some hoity-toity university is for squares, daddy-o! And are Harvard graduates allowed to attend classes naked as the day they were born? Hells no! You can plan the rest of your life while simultaneously googling lolcats!

Squid- Weed and cheetos? Try rent and bills. You're not going to work anywhere important? Why bother doing something with your life like trying to get yourself out of said unimportant job by getting qualified?

Oh, and you're right, the Havard graduates aren't allowed to attend classes naked. On the other hand, chances are they're also not trying to hold down a job at the same time.

Not everything is as black and white, not every person who is unable to get qualifications in the "normal" way is unable to do so because they're weed smoking nudists who can't be arsed to leave the house. Some people have priorities, like not depending on someone else to pay your way through college.

On a side note, I sat and wrote the first part of an assignment tonight. In my boxers. What, it's hot here

 

[Ironic Pirate]

Damn it, I was going to do the finally fast one! That's twice in a row I've been ninja'd on the OP.

 

[enzilewulf]

I have only seen the second one and I can't think of one right now.

Hahaha I have never seen anything like that on TV but youd have to be pretty stupid to use that finally fast thing

And yet enough people use it that they enough profit that they can make enough profit to advertise and still get rich. Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups (don't get me started on politics...). All it does (I'm guessing) is clean off some viruses and maybe some minor tweaking but that's probably giving them too much credit.

I lol'd at the politics.

Glad to know I made somebody happy. That was my good deed for the day so I can be an a-hole for the rest of the day and still get in to heaven/nirvana, right?

I like how the "Finally Fast" commercial said it was for "PC computers only."

I don't think many people have personal computer computers.

haha. Good point, now did they do that accidentally because they are stupid or if they did it on purpose because they expected their potential customers to believe that writing was correct. Kinda like a "you must be this stupid to use our product" test?

well if you say nirvana, then does that mean killing yourself get you to- I will shut up now

(cookie for who ever tells me who did suicide)

 

[Girl With One Eye]

Any of the "Post your Gold" ads.

Sure, put a valuable substance in an envelope marked with "VALUABLE" and trust them to send you back money.

Jeeeeeeeeez.

Even if they do send it back, its like 5% of whats its actually worth

 

[zombiejoe]

I LOVE THE YOU NEED COLLEGE SONG!

I WATCHED IT LAST NIGHT

 

[Penguinness]

Easy, those ringtone adverts take the piss. Thankfully it clearly says at the bottom of the advert that to get one ringtone you sign up for a £4.50 PER WEEK service! It would be gutting to fall for one of them.

Here's a spoof of it.

 

[Quaxar]

A college degree in pajamas? Hey, I did that too! But I got funny looks, I guess Oxford students are not used to fellow students going to lectures in their night gowns...

"We buy your gold" online adverts are the ones I see most.
Saw a test once and they offered about 1/100th of what it was actually worth.

 

[EMFCRACKSHOT]

Dude, just so that you're aware, it is possible to earn higher education qualifications online. It's not a 20 minute tick-the-boxes job, admittedly, but it's called "distance learning". I'm doing a long distance Law degree because I couldn't afford to send myself to Uni. I work, then I have assignments to complete once a month. It's UK based, the Open University [http://www.open.ac.uk/].

Ah, but the open university is government sponsored. I doubt "Youneedcollege.com" can say the same
And damn you for putting that song in my head op, damn you to hell

Also, all those ads you get around 2-3am where you phone up girls and "talk to them"

 

[EBHughsThe1st]

Free Xbox

I mean come on! Just give us your credit card number and we'll send you an Xbox!

 

[Enemy Of The State]

Injury Lawyers 4 U

Ambulance-chasing crap.

In fact, most injury lawyer ads.

"Slipped on a wet floor at the office? Sue the pants off your boss!"

 

[Snarky Username]

I have a couple to beat them all.


Anything with the word "Miracle" in the name is most likely a scam.

 

[Bakaferret]

*snip*

Dude, just so that you're aware, it is possible to earn higher education qualifications online. It's not a 20 minute tick-the-boxes job, admittedly, but it's called "distance learning". I'm doing a long distance Law degree because I couldn't afford to send myself to Uni. I work, then I have assignments to complete once a month. It's UK based, the Open University [http://www.open.ac.uk/].

Apply to an Online College today! I mean, it's not like you're going to work anywhere important, so why waste money you could be using to buy important crap like weed or Cheetos! And everyone knows that getting an education at some hoity-toity university is for squares, daddy-o! And are Harvard graduates allowed to attend classes naked as the day they were born? Hells no! You can plan the rest of your life while simultaneously googling lolcats!

Squid- Weed and cheetos? Try rent and bills. You're not going to work anywhere important? Why bother doing something with your life like trying to get yourself out of said unimportant job by getting qualified?

Oh, and you're right, the Havard graduates aren't allowed to attend classes naked. On the other hand, chances are they're also not trying to hold down a job at the same time.

Not everything is as black and white, not every person who is unable to get qualifications in the "normal" way is unable to do so because they're weed smoking nudists who can't be arsed to leave the house. Some people have priorities, like not depending on someone else to pay your way through college.

On a side note, I sat and wrote the first part of an assignment tonight. In my boxers. What, it's hot here

I don't think that the Education Connection commercial is bad for trying to get people to get online degrees...it just reeks of false advertising. I agree, as long as you get it from an ACCREDITED college, taking online courses is fine...in fact, I'm really considering it for my masters. So yeah, I'm a little insulted to at the implication that online degrees are 100% useless.

That being said...I still think Education Connection is a scam. A quick google search yields some complaints...I wouldn't be surprised if they "connected" you with degree mills...then your degree really IS completely worthless.

 

[Quaidis]

I find that half of those drug commercials are all out scams, or at least encouragement to dangerous acts of malpractice with your doctor.

Buy Paynanthass (buy paynanthass!) now for your depression. Are you depressed? You need Paynanthass! It cures depression! Warning: Can cause stomach pains, weakness in the limbs, lung deformities, heart abnormalities, brain tumors, head aches, stroke, heart attack, excessive weight gain, and can occasionally cause fatalities such as: Death. Do not use paynanthass if you have stomach ulsers, hernias, or arthritis as there is a heavy bleeding risk that occurs in 50% of adults. There is a suicide risk for teenagers and young adults that use paynanthass, so if you notice anything abnormal, tell your doctor. Can cause depression.


I see many of those, on both the tele and in magazines. Who on Earth would use the product if there are more side effects than actual commercial advertisement? And who would use a product to stop something (such as a headache) when that something is listed as a side effect? (Warning: could cause headaches.)

 

[AkJay]

Any of those commercials you see for fitness equipment that says you can get abs by using their sit-up machine or some other type of bullcrap. All lies. losing weight doesn't really work that way, sure, you can build up muscle in certain areas, but first you need to lose fat, and your body won't lose fat in ONE area that you work out with. It loses fat based on genetics, believe it or not. Some people lose fat on their asses first, some on their legs.

 

[oktalist]

I love how the second one comes with a free personality test (worth $75).

Nothing quite as bad as this has made it to British TV, at least on the channels I watch. The closest we come is those accident compensation ones.

Those home degree course ones remind me of this:

 

[Nuke_em_05]

Cash for Gold
Debt "Forgiveness" Programs
Anything involving a miraculous change in your health, finances, or career in less than twelve months.

Keywords "instant", "no-obligation" or "no money down".

As for education connection, only connects to "partner" schools who pay them to be listed, and requires "valid contact information" for... you know... contacting you and stuff... or selling to their "partners" in the data-mining indust- I mean... "education system".

Hey, online degrees or evening school is fine for adult degrees/continuing studies. Just do it from a legitimate college that doesn't have to pay a data-mining front to get recognized. That is what family, friends, co-workers, and your local community are for. If all else fails, Google it yourself.

 

[RottingAwesome]

was gonna post the finally fast thing
also the game that kid is playing looks hardcore amirite? ;D

 

[swolf]

Hahaha I have never seen anything like that on TV but youd have to be pretty stupid to use that finally fast thing

And yet enough people use it that they enough profit that they can make enough profit to advertise and still get rich. Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups (don't get me started on politics...). All it does (I'm guessing) is clean off some viruses and maybe some minor tweaking but that's probably giving them too much credit. Also, for more scams, check out "A.I.L (American Income Life)"...or really any "job" that's based on commission and talks about people making bank when, in reality, those people are at the top of the pyramid scheme.

finally fast does NOT clean your computer AT ALL. scam sites are FULL of reports that this thing is a trojan that adds VIRUSES then pretends to remove them and they keep withdrawing from your account multiple times while leaving you with viruses. always search the scam sites before you use anything. i am amazed the US government doesn't crack down on these blatant scams because they are usually on top of stuff like this.

Huh...yeah, it's weird. I'm glad I never bought it then.

Any of those commercials you see for fitness equipment that says you can get abs by using their sit-up machine or some other type of bullcrap. All lies. losing weight doesn't really work that way, sure, you can build up muscle in certain areas, but first you need to lose fat, and your body won't lose fat in ONE area that you work out with. It loses fat based on genetics, believe it or not. Some people lose fat on their asses first, some on their legs.

What's your opinion on P90X? I've looked for negative opinions but haven't really found any which makes me wonder. I mean, shouldn't I at least be able to find one person who doesn't like it even if it's because they were too lazy to actually put forth the effort.

 

[zHellas]

*snip*

Dude, just so that you're aware, it is possible to earn higher education qualifications online. It's not a 20 minute tick-the-boxes job, admittedly, but it's called "distance learning". I'm doing a long distance Law degree because I couldn't afford to send myself to Uni. I work, then I have assignments to complete once a month. It's UK based, the Open University [http://www.open.ac.uk/].

I have a question: What the hell prompted that?

 

[senorcromas]

Head on! Apply directly to the forehead!

Head on! Apply directly to the forehead!

Head on...

Also, I lol'd at one of the lines in the finallyfast.com commercial.

"It's finally fast! Finallyfast.com!"

EDIT: <youtube=f_SwD7RveNE>

Foooouuund iiiit...