On The Subject of Birthdays and Hating Them.

[Bat Vader]

My birthday is this month and man do I hate it. Ever since I can remember I hate my birthday. It wasn't until a few years ago that I figured out why. It isn't because I am getting older but it's because I hate being the center of attention. Whenever someone says or sings happy birthday I feel extremely awkward and just want to slip away somewhere and hide until the day is over.

I always hated going to school on my birthday. Usually a teacher would find out or see that it was my birthday and have the whole class either say or sing happy birthday and I hated it. At work people's birthdays are posted for that month and I had to ask to have mine be omitted.

I don't know why I feel so painfully awkward being the center of attention. I know it's meant to be a happy day but I can't see it as anything other than awkward and annoying.

Anyone else here feel the same way?

 

[Thaluikhain]

Yeah, not fussed on them either. Seem a bit arbitrary to me, I'm one day different in age from the day before or the day after.

 

[an annoyed writer]

Ugh, I know the feeling. It's the worst at sit-down restaurants, because they always stop pretty much everything, consequences be damned, to sing their own take on a birthday song. I makes for really awkward conversations. Not just yours, but pretty much everyone else is annoyed by it too.

 

[Spaceman Spiff]

Same here. I don't care for the attention or receiving gifts. Luckily these days only my parents and aunt and uncle know when my birthday even rolls around. I've managed to keep my birth date pretty much unknown at work (HR does have it obviously, but it isn't general knowledge) and for my few friends.

 

[sky14kemea]

I kinda hated birthdays because I was always expected to want some kind of party with my friends and I just couldn't be bothered most years.

Don't get me wrong, I loved my friends, so I usually just asked what they wanted. I never knew what I wanted and the pressure to decide and then the expectation that I have to enjoy it immensely was annoying.

Now I hate birthdays 'cause I'm alone on them anyway, so there's literally no difference to any other day. I tend to try and take my birthdays off any social media sites so I don't get clogged up with "obligatory" greetings. I get the thought behind it but they don't make me feel any happier or sadder if I don't get any.

 

[sageoftruth]

Well, I certainly have an issue with the gifts part. As someone who is constantly trying to keep his place organized, more gifts can become an organizational nightmare for me, especially since my birthday is the day before Christmas.

 

[TakerFoxx]

Ditto. I feel like it's undeserved attention, which is what makes it awkward. Like, if you had actually accomplished something big and everyone was getting together to celebrate that, then it's awesome. But just giving you attention because you're now a year older just makes it feel obligatory.

 

[CeeBod]

I've always disliked birthdays myself, and usually like to let them sneak past without anyone noticing, but one thing relatively recently that makes it even worse is that it seems to have become a major thing in many offices to buy cakes/chocolates/other edible stuff for your work colleagues when it's your birthday: http://hub.endsleigh.co.uk/2014/careers/the-dilemma-of-the-office-cakes/ sums it up. That makes it a double whammy for me now - I intentionally avoided making a big deal of birthdays so I receive very little, but I'm expected to furnish the whole office with tasty snacks? :/

 

[happyninja42]

I don't know why I feel so painfully awkward being the center of attention. I know it's meant to be a happy day but I can't see it as anything other than awkward and annoying.

That would be because you are not a very socially adjusted person. I've seen several of the threads that you have started, and they all have a pretty common theme. "I don't like dealing with people". So I don't know why you seem puzzled by your awkward reaction to birthdays, since it's pretty much perfectly in line with every other social scenario you've ever presented to this forum to discuss about yourself. You are anti-social, that's pretty much the long and short of it.

Anyone else here feel the same way?

Pretty sure some are yeah. I'm not terribly fond of them myself, but I don't really mind them. I just had my 39th birthday last week, and my coworkers sang me happy birthday. It was awkward yeah, but I just rolled with it and pretended to orchestrate them like a musical conductor. It was amusing to me and them, and we all go through it with minimal bloodshed and loss of life. And then we ate cupcakes, so win win.

If you don't like B-days, that's fine, but remember, it's the only holiday out of the entire year, that is specifically to celebrate the fact that you are alive, and that the people who care about you, are showing their gratitude for you being in their life. Every other holiday is about celebrating something external, B-days are about celebrating you. I'd try and just look at it from that point of view, and appreciate that there are people who actually care about the fact that you are alive, and leave it at that.

Or don't and keep hating them, whatever works for you.

 

[Frankster]

Hah join the club!

I've been into the habit of manually changing my birthdates on sites i'm registered to (with exceptions like this one because no one gives a fuck about me here anyways, much less wish me a happy birthday) or on social media sites im on for so many years now. I go to outrageous lengths to make my birthday disappear or just vanish the week of my bday so as to minimize any awkwardness.

Screw bdays really. Also I fully admit to being a social weirdo, especially for things like this.

 

[RedRockRun]

I think people look forward to birthday celebrations more than anything after a certain age, say around 21. Age seems like something tantamount to social rank in childhood, and later on there's the countdown to getting one's learner permit and driver's license along with legal age for sex and purchasing alcohol.

After 21, age could be seen more as a liability - a yardstick to measure one's success. In America at least, there is an obsession with success and self-efficacy in relation to age. People are well-regarded for achieving things at an early age, and the older one gets, the less interesting one's achievements are in that regard. It is as if a baseline is thought to exist, and people who beat that average are said to be extraordinary while those who achieve success later in life are pitied. What's more, those who are older and, for example, still live with their parents, haven't graduated school, are unemployed, are still virgins, are unmarried, etc. are looked down upon. Every year that goes by makes one look worse in the eyes of society.

 

[Scarim Coral]

I only hate my birthday because NOTHING happens on it. Ok yes stuff happened on it but I mean I never once have a birthday party or anything that amount as a special Birthday.

Stuff like people saying happy birthday (via chat, saying to my face, on here), a general close family saying happy birthday with a birthday cake, little to non birthday present (money doesn't count) is far too mudane for me. (Yes I did have the whole class sing happy birthday when I was a kid but I'm indifferent to that.)

I mean seriously I would killed for a general birthday party (I kid you not, I NEVER had a birthday party at home when I was kid or even a party at Burger King like my preschool friends had in the past) or a party at some bowling place etc. I just want a birthday celebration, just something to excite me and to say it's a grand celebration because I was born...

So yeah, I would actually would like to be the center of attention for once in a good way.

Heck, I bet the OP would had wanted my 21st birthday cos I did NOTHING on it. I was in Uni at that time and I had shit tons of work that I couldn't just put if off for a day and I'm not a drinker so a party in a bar is out of the question (mind you I did went to played Mario Kart Wii at GAME for this competition before the game came out).

 

[DugMachine]

I don't enjoy being the center of attention either but its a good excuse to get smashed so guess its not all bad.

 

[CeeBod]

I don't enjoy being the center of attention either but its a good excuse to get smashed so guess its not all bad.

Today's a day with a y in it, AND there's an r in this month. Isn't that a good enough reason to get smashed? p

 

[FoolKiller]

I love my birthday. Its a special day for only me, instead of Christmas where its for everyone.

Also, I have never worked on my birthday. I refuse to.

 

[Libra]

I couldn't agree more. I haven't celebrated my birthday since I was 12. The great thing about being an adult is that you can do whatever you want, so ignoring birthdays is totally fine.

 

[Fat Hippo]

Ehh, it's not too bad. I usually just go out to watch a movie and grab a few drinks with friends, so there's nothing really special about that, except the prospect of getting some presents, which is nice. Screw throwing parties though, way too much effort. It's supposed to be MY day, not some bullshit social obligation. Don't really mind being the center of attention, and it's really only for a short time anyway. A few "happy birthdays" here and there, maybe a song, and then it's just a regular day, really.

The whole "you're one year older and have so much left to do and so much further to go" things bugs me more. Like someone already said, getting older after 21 is shit. Everything just feels like a race against the clock at that point. *sigh*

 

[Zombie_Fish]

I enjoy birthdays, but I rarely like being the centre of attention at events. Maybe that's why my past two birthdays have involved going to the cinema with friends.

I don't enjoy being the center of attention either but its a good excuse to get smashed so guess its not all bad.

Today's a day with a y in it, AND there's an r in this month. Isn't that a good enough reason to get smashed? p

Are you saying that we don't have a good enough reason to get smashed between May and August?

 

[Fox12]

I was born on Christmas.

So all my attention got sucked up by this dilweed:

Spoiler

Look at all the shit he got for Christmas!

I never really celebrated my birthday beyond having a cake, since we had to drive to several different relatives houses. I never had a party with my friends over. My school never noticed because we were on break for the holidays. My christmas presents were also my birthday presents. Incidentally, I'm an atheist now. No, I'm not bitter. It's because of logic, really!

 

[Saltyk]

I hate mine. Not because I'm getting older or because I hate being the center of attention. No, I hate mine because it seems to be the day I have negative luck. If there is any day that will go bad for me, it's my birthday. If there is a day that things will go the worst they can, it's my birthday. My best birthdays were the ones people forgot. So, I'm content to forget the day. I'll happily celebrate a friend's birthday, but not mine.