Opinion on age of smexy time

[Goldenkitten01]

I figure 16 is ok, most kids know all about it by then anyway. But honestly until they're 20 it probably shouldn't be legal for anyone of greater than four years to do so with them. Of course that's ripe for incredibly screwed up law making and that's why they don't do it, but all this stuff involving 18-year-olds being branded pedophiles for the rest of their life because their 17-year-old girlfriends parents didn't like him really makes you lose faith in what little faith their was to have in our law system.

 

[Talespinner]

In my eyes you should be having sex whenever the heck you want to. I see absolutely no problem with people starting early or late. The problem is when someone force or coerce a non-ready person to take part in it.

The "force" part is hard to do much about, beside of course making paedophilia a felony. The "coerce" part is easier, although it does require people to grow up mentally. And I'm not talking about the involved parties here, I'm talking society as a whole.

If we aren't afraid to talk about sex and we aren't afraid to share our feelings on the matter openly then the taboo goes away. With that, the allure towards the "mystery" automatically disappears. The way to make sure young people know how to handle their sexuality responsibly is to stop trying to hide it from them.

Now, I'm not saying we should hand out pornography to children or anything. Porno does NOT reflect actual sex. Not even remotely. I'm talking discussing it openly when it comes up instead of trying to hide it away. I have a daughter myself so I'm perfectly aware how some parents (myself included) would love nothing more than to lock their children in a little room and cuddle, love and care for them until they were around 30 but the fact of the matter is that no matter how hard to try to shield them they WILL hear about these things. And they WILL see porn, make no mistake. You can NOT avoid it.

By making sure we don't force them to learn about sex through magazines and creepy internet sites we're making sure that they have a healthy understanding of the subject. Yes, it's awkward as hell to talk sex with your kid but it sure as hell beats them learning about it on the net and trying it out in secret while you go blindfolded through your life pretending that your little darling will never grow up.

As long as we, as parents, act responsibly and don't try to shield our kids from something that they CAN NOT be shielded from I think we should trust their will and integrity enough to let them make the choice themselves. Guided and discussed, obviously, but really; as soon as you're old enough to start thinking about sex you're also so old that you do not react well to your parents treating you like you're an idiot.

My girl is way too bright for me to hide stuff from her. I gave up years ago. Now I try to notice when she becomes curios about things and then help her understand so I at least make sure she get's some proper information and knows she can trust me not to freak about things.

EDIT: When it comes to age difference I'm not quite as open minded. I'd like to be, I really would, but if my daughter (That is 11 now) came home with a 20 year old guy (or girl) in 3 years I'd need severe amounts of medication to not murder that fucker right on the spot.

In the early teens you change too much on just a year for large age difference to be good. As soon as you're past 20 then it's something different (even though there's still a lot of things settling in your mind at that point) but more than a year or two during the teens and I would absolutely freak.

In the "If you lay a hand on my daughter I'll cut your fucking balls off!"-way.

 

[Jesse Billingsley]

Just having a talk with my friend and i wanted your opinion my fellow Escapists.

Generally 18 is the legal age for sexual consent, however what is your opinion on this? Afterall theres no denying people do it underage anyway.

I mean if an 18 year old has sex with a 17 year old 1 day shy of her birthday, he's technically a pedophile (Having sex with minors)

So what would the age difference have to be for you (Personally) to be outraged?

No its not, if the girl is 3 or 4 years younger, then it's considered a crime.

 

[biggles1]

wow, lots of people here seem to be mis-understanding a lot of things.

First off, the age of consent is there to PROTECT young people from abuse, having an age of consent too low or non existent makes it much easier for people to then take advantage of young people. I won't go into detail on specifics but that is it's purpose. If the age of consent is say, 16, and a 17 and 15.5 year old have consensual sex, the police will not come running to your door and arrest you. Having consensual sex with an underage person is not akin to rape, because it is consensual. The age of consent is currently used as a guide, in the UK it is 16 as at 16 a person is able to leave education, get a job and sustain a family if need be. In many other countries legal work status and many other factors contribute to the current age of consent.

As a summary, it comes down more to "at what age can a person theoretically sustain a family" as to the actual law on the age of consent, and people using their heads and saying "17 and 15 isn't that bad, 25 and 11 probably means I should get the police involved". At the end of the day some people get interested in sex much earlier than others, decades in some cases, and people are always going to have sex under the age of consent. It always comes down to people being sensible and careful in all areas of life.

Just for information, I first had sex when I was 2 weeks away from 16.

Also for random facts, the lowest age of consent in the world is 9 in yemen (if married)
- source: wikipedia


Also, no stupid "this is sick stuff" replies please, people who can't post sensibly tend to get ignored or get counter-troll comments.

 

[Berenzen]

In Canada it's 16, although a 12/13 year old can experiment with someone up to 2 years older, and a 14/15 year old can experiment with someone up to 5 years older than them.

That, for me, seems perfectly fine, as it allows for safe experimentation.

 

[Samurai Silhouette]

wow, lots of people here seem to be mis-understanding a lot of things.

First off, the age of consent is there to PROTECT young people from abuse, having an age of consent too low or non existent makes it much easier for people to then take advantage of young people. I won't go into detail on specifics but that is it's purpose. If the age of consent is say, 16, and a 17 and 15.5 year old have consensual sex, the police will not come running to your door and arrest you. Having consensual sex with an underage person is not akin to rape, because it is consensual. The age of consent is currently used as a guide, in the UK it is 16 as at 16 a person is able to leave education, get a job and sustain a family if need be. In many other countries legal work status and many other factors contribute to the current age of consent.

As a summary, it comes down more to "at what age can a person theoretically sustain a family" as to the actual law on the age of consent, and people using their heads and saying "17 and 15 isn't that bad, 25 and 11 probably means I should get the police involved". At the end of the day some people get interested in sex much earlier than others, decades in some cases, and people are always going to have sex under the age of consent. It always comes down to people being sensible and careful in all areas of life.

Exactly this. Think of how sick and twisted life would be if everyone was chasing after 13 year olds. Children would be viewed as sex toys rather than people. Can't be good for them growing up.

 

[Blow_Pop]

I think it should be about 16-18 my thoughts vary on that. Legally where I am in the US it is 18. However I also believe that if you are old enough at 18 to die for your country you should also be legally old enough to drink as well so either the age of draft/eligibility for military service needs to be raised to 21 or the drinking age lowered to 18.

 

[Monkey lord]

In iceland the age of consent is 15 or 16 I can't remember

 

[Doclector]

I'd say the minimum is whenever you feel truly ready, but i would probably only go for 16 at youngest, being twenty. In fact, i'd feel kinda like a creep with that, so maybe late 17-18. Here in the uk, the legal age is 16, which sounds about right for the law, but honestly I don't know of many people who actually lost it afterwards.

I'd actually say it's wise to try and lose your virginity before twenty. It seems most people frown on any virgins older than that.

 

[Treaos Serrare]

I'd limit the amount of usage of the term "sick fucks", in your argument. As has been shown over the recent years, you cannot make something illegal because you think it's "sick". It has to pose a legitimate harm to somebody (and rape does). However, using words like "sick fucks" makes it seem like you're trying to say "X is sick, therefore it should be banned".

sex with a child is sick, period end of discussion you do not pass go, and anything under 18 is a child quite frankly and that's just a fact.

I'm not some conservative tight ass who thinks all things save Jesus are evil, but you cannot give me a good reason why it is okay for someone below the age of 18 to be sexually active regardless of the circumstances or situations. you don't need to have sex to show you love your significant other, it helps express emotions we don't have proper words for yet but it is not 100% necessary and I doubt anything beyond hormones is fueling these kids desire to bang.

and to answer your question, no I didn't. I didn't care about sex in any real way until I hit 20 and even then I didn't have sex until I was 22, I got seriously sick of kids my own age(when I was in my teens) bragging that they had sex, I'd rather not get some horrible crotch rot because I couldn't keep it in my pants.

 

[Loner Jo Jo]

In Virginia, the legal age is 18, but there is a leeway law too of two year. So, if an 18 year old wants to have sex with a 17 year old, it's legal, but the parents can press charges if they so desire... It gets a little confusing, but in most cases, nobody stops them.

Honestly, there is no "proper" age and trying to find a legal demarcation that fits everyone is impossible. Also, how would one define 'readiness'? Extensive knowledge of birth control and sexual health? Emotional maturity? (How would you even go about defining that and testing for that?) Some other measure?

Honestly, I think anywhere from 16 to 18 is fine for legal purposes. It's a good catch all. Here what I do say we lower: lower the age at which a person can view and purchase pornography and solo sex toys. Curiosity about sex is natural and should be explored. If we open up a discussion about self-discovery with people, say 14 and over, I think it will allow minors to explore their sexuality in a safe manner. I realize that most people under the legal age view porn at some time or another, but still, by saying they legally can't, you're setting up the expectation that sex is this forbidden thing and glorifies it.

 

[Radelaide]

Rule of thumb, half your age + 7. That borders on creepy...

 

[Treaos Serrare]

In Virginia, the legal age is 18, but there is a leeway law too of two year. So, if an 18 year old wants to have sex with a 17 year old, it's legal, but the parents can press charges if they so desire... It gets a little confusing, but in most cases, nobody stops them.

Honestly, there is no "proper" age and trying to find a legal demarcation that fits everyone is impossible. Also, how would one define 'readiness'? Extensive knowledge of birth control and sexual health? Emotional maturity? (How would you even go about defining that and testing for that?) Some other measure?

Honestly, I think anywhere from 16 to 18 is fine for legal purposes. It's a good catch all. Here what I do say we lower: lower the age at which a person can view and purchase pornography and solo sex toys. Curiosity about sex is natural and should be explored. If we open up a discussion about self-discovery with people, say 14 and over, I think it will allow minors to explore their sexuality in a safe manner. I realize that most people under the legal age view porn at some time or another, but still, by saying they legally can't, you're setting up the expectation that sex is this forbidden thing and glorifies it.

i agree with the porn/sextoy thing, it would improve sexual education immensely

 

[Zantos]

Given proper education about safe sex and risks involved, 14 is a pretty good number.

Given that I went to school with what must have been the lowest common denominator, fucking 30 or something. By then they'll have seen enough Jeremy Kyle to know how to not kill a child.

 

[Lukeje]

The age of consent should be the age at which you are able to deal with the responsibility of dealing with the consequences. I'd say 16 is a fairly good candidate for such an age (as at that age you are old enough to get a proper job and support yourself), though the fact that porn is rated at 18+ still doesn't make any sense.

 

[zehydra]

I'd limit the amount of usage of the term "sick fucks", in your argument. As has been shown over the recent years, you cannot make something illegal because you think it's "sick". It has to pose a legitimate harm to somebody (and rape does). However, using words like "sick fucks" makes it seem like you're trying to say "X is sick, therefore it should be banned".

sex with a child is sick, period end of discussion you do not pass go, and anything under 18 is a child quite frankly and that's just a fact.

I'm not some conservative tight ass who thinks all things save Jesus are evil, but you cannot give me a good reason why it is okay for someone below the age of 18 to be sexually active regardless of the circumstances or situations. you don't need to have sex to show you love your significant other, it helps express emotions we don't have proper words for yet but it is not 100% necessary and I doubt anything beyond hormones is fueling these kids desire to bang.

and to answer your question, no I didn't. I didn't care about sex in any real way until I hit 20 and even then I didn't have sex until I was 22, I got seriously sick of kids my own age(when I was in my teens) bragging that they had sex, I'd rather not get some horrible crotch rot because I couldn't keep it in my pants.

saying that "something is sick" is a fact, is incorrect. An action cannot be objectively considered a judgement such as "sick".

As to the second paragraph, you are in the minority there, and I find it fascinating. I first wanted to have sex around the age 14.

 

[Treaos Serrare]

Zehydra, I don't care what kind of argument you want to give about my choice of wording, but I'll play your game regardless and say that it is wholly and completely amoral if not outright immoral for children to have sex, it is without a doubt the most reprehensible thing I can imagine that doesn't involve violence. why you wish to continue arguing the point for a low AoC is beyond my scope of understanding in terms of logic, because I cannot find any logical reason that it should be anything below 18. hell at 18 a lot of people still want to act like the kids they have been up until that point and not be responsible in the least, and the number of irresponsible people like that seems to be growing stedily

 

[infohippie]

Yeah no, that is by far the worst argument by far that I have ever heard for this kind of topic. it needs to stay 18 and needs to be 18 globally, this 15 and less shit in other countries is atrocious and retarded. its not the dark ages where girls need to be baby factories from 16 on because people die of old age before 40, also these ridiculously low ages for consent are what help breed the sick fucks who want to rape 5 yearolds

C'mon man, don't hold back - tell us how you really feel!

I gotta disagree with you there, mate. It's 16 in most of the civilised world, and 16 is probably a good age for it to become legal. That doesn't mean as soon as a girl turn 16 she needs to open her legs for the first guy to come along and start popping out babies like an assembly line. But by the age of 16, most teenagers have been swimming in hormones for a few years already. You're never going to stop them screwing each other, and trying to will only end up criminalising kids for nothing - and that still won't deter any other teenagers from doing exactly the same.

 

[SilentCom]

Age of consent should be lowered to 13.(Or when sexual drive kicks in, but that´s hard to test, so let´s just go with 13.)

Anything under that is a serious pedowarning, though.

Mostly because I´m not fond of the goverment having the right to say that what you want with such a personal subject matter as sex is invalid. That strikes me as wrong. However, one should be forced to hit puberty, at least.

Edit: Oh, just remembered: You are not allowed to have a child until you´re 18. Having sex is not equal to having a child.

Sex isn't only for pleasure. In all likelihood, the reason why people (or animals for that matter) gain pleasure out of sexual intercourse is so that they will be motivated to reproduce. If people didn't have an attraction and pleasure toward sexual intercourse, then no one would want to have sex and our species probably wouldn't be here today. The last thing we would need is to have a bunch of immature, adolescent children making babies. They can't even take care of themselves most of the time, image if they're forced to raise a child.

Also, if someone is really concerned that they may accidently have a child, then they should keep their pants on or at least take the necessary procautions. Otherwise, it is often just weak will power that causes people to make irrational decisions.