People asking me to be more open vs keep things to myself

FakeSympathy

FakeSympathy

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"You should express and say out loud what you have in mind!"
"You need to stop complaining! Keep your opinions to yourself!"


WTF do you want me to do? If I stay quiet and follow along, despite having thousands of concerns and questions, I am asked to talk more and express myself, get along with others.

If I do indeed start to talk more and bring up all my complaints, I am told how dumb and wrong I am, and I need to keep my mouth shut.

Granted, I do look pissy if I stay quiet and I do get mouthy/cynical if I am open about everything, but I just don't know what to do. I try to find the balance, but I get told to do one of the two all the time.

And people ask me why I'm not a "people" person
 
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bluegate

bluegate

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I would say try and get a feel of what is appropriate to share at what times and how much of that would be welcome to hear.

For example, if you're standing around the casket of your deceased grandmother and people are commenting on how she looks nice in her favourite clothes, don't jump in by saying how you always thought she looked ridiculous in them.
 
Trunkage

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Baffle said:
Oh, now I should tell lies by omission at my grandmother's funeral?!
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You gotta tell love one how you really feel before you dont see them again.

OT: You're example would generally be two totally different groups. It's not the same people saying things mutually exclusive. But it does tell you where its better to speak up
 
The Rogue Wolf

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FakeSympathy said:
"You should express and say out loud what you have in mind!"
"You need to stop complaining! Keep your opinions to yourself!"
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The thing is that the people saying either of these things, ninety-nine times out of ten, don't actually mean them. What they mean is "say more things that I agree with, and fewer things that I disagree with".

Tell them all to go fuck themselves, and say what you want to say.
 
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Dalisclock

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FakeSympathy said:
"You should express and say out loud what you have in mind!"
"You need to stop complaining! Keep your opinions to yourself!"


WTF do you want me to do? If I stay quiet and follow along, despite having thousands of concerns and questions, I am asked to talk more and express myself, get along with others.

If I do indeed start to talk more and bring up all my complaints, I am told how dumb and wrong I am, and I need to keep my mouth shut.

Granted, I do look pissy if I stay quiet and I do get mouthy/cynical if I am open about everything, but I just don't know what to do. I try to find the balance, but I get told to do one of the two all the time.

And people ask me why I'm not a "people" person
Click to expand...
Are these the same people saying both things?
 
FakeSympathy

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Going back to the topic at hand, Yes there are moments where's obvious to stay silent. I attended the wake for my friend's father back in December, and I didn't say a word until it was over. I found my friend and did talk with him for some comfort.

But there are times when being quiet vs voicing my opinion falls in that grey area. Such as group discussion. For example, As one of the lead volunteers I attend regular meetings with other volunteers for planning activities. Everyone is encouraged to talk, but I don't. I used to, but any of my suggestions or opinions were turned down (respectfully, I admit) because they had convincing reasons why my suggestions were bad. I gradually dropped how often I talked until I stopped talking altogether. Didn't matter how smart/great I thought myself was, it was made me look like a fucking idiot.

They were nice enough to count me in, but at this point idk what my purpose in the organization is anymore.
 
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Drathnoxis

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FakeSympathy said:
Going back to the topic at hand, Yes there are moments where's obvious to stay silent. I attended the wake for my friend's father back in December, and I didn't say a word until it was over. I found my friend and did talk with him for some comfort.

But there are times when being quiet vs voicing my opinion falls in that grey area. Such as group discussion. For example, As one of the lead volunteers I attend regullar meeting with other volunteers for planning activities. Everyone is encouraged to talk, but I don't. I used to, but any of my suggestions or opinions were turned down (respectfully, I admit) because they had convincing reasons why my suggestions were bad. I gradually dropped how often I talked until I stopped talking altogether. Didn't matter how smart/great I thought myself was, it was made me look like a fucking idiot.

They were nice enough to count me in, but at this point idk what my purpose in the organization is anymore.
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Maybe you just need to come up with better ideas? Or better yet, find a way to steal someone else's good ideas! Next time someone has a really good idea, start shouting incoherently and pointing out the window. Then after the commotion has died down and everybody has forgotten what they were talking about you say the idea and get the credit!

Is this a job we are talking about? If so, your purpose is to soak up salary and benefits. If you can do that without coming up with any ideas, all the better.
 
Specter Von Baren

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FakeSympathy said:
"You should express and say out loud what you have in mind!"
"You need to stop complaining! Keep your opinions to yourself!"


WTF do you want me to do? If I stay quiet and follow along, despite having thousands of concerns and questions, I am asked to talk more and express myself, get along with others.

If I do indeed start to talk more and bring up all my complaints, I am told how dumb and wrong I am, and I need to keep my mouth shut.

Granted, I do look pissy if I stay quiet and I do get mouthy/cynical if I am open about everything, but I just don't know what to do. I try to find the balance, but I get told to do one of the two all the time.

And people ask me why I'm not a "people" person
Click to expand...
Preach!!!!
 
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