Poll: A mysterious artifact is In your hands...

Neurotic Void Melody

Bound to escape
Legacy
Jul 15, 2013
4,953
6
13
Prepare for the decision of a lifetime! It's for life....no matter how short.

You're briskly walking along a deserted inner city street at night to get home from an evening out with friends. Still a little tipsy, needing a toilet break, but determined and balanced enough to have no trouble with the journey. Your cat needs feeding, as due to being a hurry to leave earlier, it slipped your mind to leave out food.
You hear a strained groan from a shadow a couple of metres ahead, only marginally missed by the street-lamp's illumination. Not feeling too worried due to the time and tipsy mind, you continue ahead to find an old, grizzled man crumpled on the floor, the unnatural positioning of appearing motionless and face-down points to the possibility this is no drunk homeless guy. Also the pool of blood spreading from beneath him seals the deal that this is quite probably serious.

You rush up to help him and upon turning him over, find no visible wound anywhere, yet by checking his pulse, you find he is dead. You look back to the pool of blood to find it is gone. But in it's place is a palm-sized disc, half an inch thick with multiple moving parts carved from what looks like a mixture between oak and marble. There are intricate patterns and symbols meticulously etched all over. You step back and return to gaze at his body, only to find it has moved position in a way that leaves his left hand appearing to point down an unlit alleyway that emits various sounds of an unsettling nature. You recheck his pulse incase you were mistaken, but no, still no signs of life. Picking up the object, you notice its' surprising wieght and smooth surface.

An echo of a whisper floats from far within the alley's pitch black void; "Here... Come here, quick... Bring the artifact out of the light"
What do you do?
 

Thaluikhain

Elite Member
Legacy
Jan 16, 2010
18,678
3,588
118
A mysterious artifact that people get killed over? That's literally radioactive, or maybe even literally radioactive.

Yeah, literally isn't a very useful word these days.
 

Neurotic Void Melody

Bound to escape
Legacy
Jul 15, 2013
4,953
6
13
That may fall under the third option. ;) I tried covering all bases, but this is no Dragon Age Origins, good sir! A pitiful eight options to deal with a limitless combination of decisions? This is oppression, i tell you! And maybe even censorship!
 

OneCatch

New member
Jun 19, 2010
1,111
0
0
I frequent the SCP [http://www.scp-wiki.net/] site. So I drop the artifact, run like hell, and hope it's not already too late. And that I'm not about to be deemed acceptable collateral damage by the inbound MTF.
 

Pirate Of PC Master race

Rambles about half of the time
Jun 14, 2013
596
0
0
Loot the body, take a picture of artifact, secure artifact in some distant location, make a cryptic will noting the existence and location of artifact should some deadly event happens to you, then study the artifact using the picture.

Now you too, can become some insane occultist who usually dies at the beginning of the story, just to leave an alien artifact that is cursed to bring the end of the world.

Then feed the cat.
 

Shoggoth2588

New member
Aug 31, 2009
10,250
0
0
I'd probably just go with it. I don't know how long it'll be before I'm able to feed my cat but going on a magical adventure isn't an everyday occurrence so I'll just listen to the voice and try to be careful if I notice it using the phrase "would you kindly". If I do wind up being killed, I'll at least be killed in a weird mystical way or by a weird magical creature which is a better alternative to how I'll likely die in the normal, boring world.
 

Akytalusia

New member
Nov 11, 2010
1,374
0
0
i'd go in, but i couldn't vote because i wouldn't just abandon my cat. i'd have no intention of doing any vacationing without making sure my cat was taken care of. it's not as if i knew ahead of time how long the encounter was going to take. it seems kind of silly to arbitrarily decide that you're choosing one over the other without knowing what's about to happen.
 

Scarim Coral

Jumped the ship
Legacy
Oct 29, 2010
18,157
2
3
Country
UK
I go with the option on calling the police and mention the artifact.

What? I could still have an adventure if there is someone wanting the artifact and is heading to the police station of the police officier him or her self is afflicated with the artifact!
 

chocolate pickles

New member
Apr 14, 2011
432
0
0
Where's the option where I go home, get even more drunk, and forget about the cat? Because that would be my choice.
 

Mangod

Senior Member
Feb 20, 2011
829
0
21
Call the police. I'm genre savvy enough to know this can't end well; dead bodies moving of their own volition usually means we're closer to Lovecraft Country than Narnia.
 

The Raw Shark

Quis custodiet ipsos custodes.
Nov 19, 2014
241
0
0
I'd spite the voice telling me to bring the artifact and then run away. I'll just grind it up and feed it to the cat when I get home.
 

Mr.Mattress

Level 2 Lumberjack
Jul 17, 2009
3,645
0
0
TakerFoxx said:
Doesn't matter. Annoying dog is going to absorb it anyway.
I was about to say that same thing, but you already stole my joke.

OT: Call the cops. Clearly this is like a Hellraiser type Artifact or worse. If people are murdering each other over it, I don't want it. I wouldn't touch either it or the guys body either. Just call the cops, wait for them to come around, tell them what I know, and leave. Also, I wouldn't be the type to get tipsy (drunk).
 

Leg End

Romans 12:18
Oct 24, 2010
2,948
58
53
Country
United States
Tell the voice to eat shit and run home to show my cats the new toy they get to play with. They become supercats and I become a Beastmaster, invincible to the forces that come after me for the device.

Fuck the Police, they're in cahoots with the voice. It'd also just vanish from an evidence locker a while later.
 

FalloutJack

Bah weep grah nah neep ninny bom
Nov 20, 2008
15,489
0
0
Well, we seem to be ignoring the fact that drunk people - even if only tipsy - are in a state of not-critically-thinking, which means you probably do as the voice says. I would, because "Fuck it, I've had a good life.", and now it's adventure time... Somebody else will feed the cat.
 

Guffe

New member
Jul 12, 2009
5,106
0
0
I have a myterious artifact in my hands on an almost daily basis... rubbing it usually does the trick ;)
Then I go home and feed the cat, which I don't have.