Poll: Bardom: my first stab at webcomics

thespyisdead

New member
Jan 25, 2010
756
0
0


this happens to be my first attempt to make web comics. it's about 2 guys lounging in a bar, and talking about life, both of which are successful with women in their own ways: one would rather have a stable relationship, and the other is too traumatized by past experiences to go that far, apparently. what i'd like to know whether you like it.

i know captcha is liking it, since it's asking, as well as i am, "want more?"
 

Swyftstar

New member
May 19, 2011
653
0
0
I think asking people to judge your first comic is risky. Most of the ones I like now were horrible for the first couple of weeks to months before they found their voice.
OT: It's pretty meh.
 

Phasmal

Sailor Jupiter Woman
Jun 10, 2011
3,676
0
0
I don't wanna be rude, but... is that supposed to be funny?
I can't tell what tone you're going for here.

Not really loving it, but any webcomic that is like `Women, eh` is probably not really gonna strike a note with me so take that for what it is.
 

Stasisesque

New member
Nov 25, 2008
983
0
0
I dunno. I believe you need at least one of three things in a comic: good art, good writing or good information. You haven't really managed to hit any of them. You've managed to make a fairly sexist joke, told by a stick figure -it's like xkcd but without any of the smarts. Sorry mate.
 

ohnoitsabear

New member
Feb 15, 2011
1,236
0
0
Personally, I don't read many webcomics, but I am turned off of one almost immediately if the art is basic, uninteresting, and seems like it's made in paint (my one exception is Dinosaur Comics, because the writing is so good and original it easily makes up for it, even in the early strips). Even if you suck at drawing, I would be much more likely to want to pay attention to it. Besides, if you keep drawing, you will eventually stop sucking at it, so it will stop being a valid excuse.

On top of that, the concept for the comic seems rather thin. I do think people in a bar talking about shit could end up being a good strip, but if it's just two guys talking mostly about women, it will get old really quickly.

My advice: draw 20 or 30 strips, and then see what you think of it. This will give you a better idea of what you want to do with it than just posting them online as soon as you make them, and then you'll know if you actually enjoy it and want to stick with it.

Keep at it, though.
 

DoPo

"You're not cleared for that."
Jan 30, 2012
8,665
0
0
Do I like it? No. Should you make more? Yes.

It has potential (I'm getting a very Cheers vibe) but I'd be surprised if you went and did it perfectly from the get-go. Do some more, gain some experience in the thing (level up!) and then ask for opinions. That would be my advice.
 

Queen Michael

has read 4,010 manga books
Jun 9, 2009
10,400
0
0
Stasisesque said:
I dunno. I believe you need at least one of three things in a comic: good art, good writing or good information. You haven't really managed to hit any of them. You've managed to make a fairly sexist joke, told by a stick figure -it's like xkcd but without any of the smarts. Sorry mate.
I get the first two, but what's good information?
 

Stasisesque

New member
Nov 25, 2008
983
0
0
Queen Michael said:
Stasisesque said:
I dunno. I believe you need at least one of three things in a comic: good art, good writing or good information. You haven't really managed to hit any of them. You've managed to make a fairly sexist joke, told by a stick figure -it's like xkcd but without any of the smarts. Sorry mate.
I get the first two, but what's good information?
Teaching me something I didn't already know. It was badly phrased deliberately to stick with the 'good' theme. :)
 

ThrobbingEgo

New member
Nov 17, 2008
2,765
0
0
Worse than being sexist, it's cliché. Those jokes went out of style in the 40s. This is like a cheap imitation of Cyanide and Happiness without the awareness, charm, or anything unexpected.

I'm not saying don't make more comics, but don't make more this.
 

Queen Michael

has read 4,010 manga books
Jun 9, 2009
10,400
0
0
Stasisesque said:
Queen Michael said:
Stasisesque said:
I dunno. I believe you need at least one of three things in a comic: good art, good writing or good information. You haven't really managed to hit any of them. You've managed to make a fairly sexist joke, told by a stick figure -it's like xkcd but without any of the smarts. Sorry mate.
I get the first two, but what's good information?
Teaching me something I didn't already know. It was badly phrased deliberately to stick with the 'good' theme. :)
Ah, I get it.

On topic: The joke isn't all that funny. Heed my advice: if you're making a stick-figure comic you'd better be crazy funny.
 

Clankenbeard

Clerical Error
Mar 29, 2009
544
0
0
Don't give up
DoPo said:
Do I like it? No. Should you make more? Yes.
This.

Here's my two cents:

Cent 1: The audience here (The Escapist patrons) may be familiar to you, but we are not your target audience based on this one strip. We are folks interested in gaming. Your comic contains nothing for this audience (yet).

Cent 2: Choose your wording carefully. I was turned off immediately by the phrase "amount of women" because the collective noun is wrong. You have an amount of liquid or money. You have a large "number of women".

Cent 3 (the bonus cent): I don't think this particular one is funny. Why is "snake" in the punch line? That would imply male sex partners. There is no context to tell if Steve is gay, because he's a stick figure. And even if he is, why does Dave refer to the women as snakes? I may be over-analyzing, but the word "snake" just baffles me.
 

PsychicTaco115

I've Been Having These Weird Dreams Lately...
Legacy
Mar 17, 2012
5,950
14
43
Country
United States
Wasn't that funny, but by all means, experiment!

OOC: I've been interested in doing a stick comic, what program did you use to make Bardom?
 

DoPo

"You're not cleared for that."
Jan 30, 2012
8,665
0
0
Clankenbeard said:
Cent 3 (the bonus cent): I don't think this particular one is funny. Why is "snake" in the punch line? That would imply male sex partners. There is no context to tell if Steve is gay, because he's a stick figure. And even if he is, why does Dave refer to the women as snakes? I may be over-analyzing, but the word "snake" just baffles me.
Well, it's common to liken women to snakes. Very common in fact. Comes from the association with evil and/or coldblooded and very definitely venomous (as in "harmful to you").

There are countless jokes about it, to the point that "snake" is almost a synonym for "woman" in jokes. I'm surprised people didn't get that.
 

Lt._nefarious

New member
Apr 11, 2012
1,285
0
0
Buddy I don't know that you've really done anything all that original with this webcomic, What the stickmen actually say is bland and seems fake as I have never met real people who talk like that.

But you should keep trying, possibly a different formula, because there is some talent in there albeit hidden behind unfunny jokes and text walls...
 

Pinkamena

Stuck in a vortex of sexy horses
Jun 27, 2011
2,371
0
0
You should perhaps learn how to draw before making webcomics. But by all means, keep going. It can only get better.
 

Popadoo

New member
May 17, 2010
1,025
0
0
Of course you should make more, if you want to start making some popular webcomics, practicing is the only way you'll get there.
Do you think all webcomics started as professionally as they are now?