Poll: Breaking the grey/gray into black and white.

Questalace

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Aug 9, 2010
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Usually this would be a simple matter but under circumstances which clearly show that one contradicts the other which do you place more faith in? One's words? Or their actions?

Example:
Your bestfriend tells you you are indeed his/her bestfriend but then one, or all, of the following things happen; they barely hang out with you because they are hanging out with other friends, they tell you they can't hang out with you 'cause their other friends don't like you, they bail out of hanging out with you to your face by making plans with another friend right infront of you whilst you made plans the day before. Then they continue to insist you are their best friend, what would you do?

P.s That example isn't happening to me, but something similar is with someone more significant xD

Enjoy conversing and keep it civil, or not, your choice. :D
 

RatRace123

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Dec 1, 2009
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In that situation, words seem meaningless. If they really were my friend they'd tell their other friends to just deal with me being there.
 

RaphaelsRedemption

Eats With Her Mouth Full
May 3, 2010
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Actions. All the way.

And you would be justified in finding another best friend and cutting your losses if you are in such a situation. That kind of behaviour is uncalled for.
 

Disaster Button

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Feb 18, 2009
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Aby_Z said:
What do they do with/for you? What do you do for them? If you want to make a thread about your problems, why not say what the fuck the actual problem is?
Maybe he didn't want to make a thread about his problems, which is sorta why he didn't make a thread about his problems?

OT: As much as I love words, in situations like that I'd believe the actions.
 

delet

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Nov 2, 2008
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Disaster Button said:
Aby_Z said:
What do they do with/for you? What do you do for them? If you want to make a thread about your problems, why not say what the fuck the actual problem is?
Maybe he didn't want to make a thread about his problems, which is sorta why he didn't make a thread about his problems?
Then he wouldn't have mentioned as much about how this relates to his own problems.

Regardless, more information is still needed. Your best friend could easily be someone who you almost never see or interact with, and someone you're around all the time could easily just be an acquaintance.
 

Jfswift

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Nov 2, 2009
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As the old saying goes, "actions speak louder than words". If I was that guy i'd find other friends.
 

badgersprite

[--SYSTEM ERROR--]
Sep 22, 2009
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I place way more faith in someone's actions, because people lie. People are not good judges of themselves and their own character. And they can have ulterior motives for telling you things.

I'm not a cynical person; this is just fact. I mean, haven't you ever known someone who said nice things to your face but said how much they didn't like you behind your back, or asked you for a favour and promised to pay you back and then just took advantage of your kindness and didn't ever pay you back? Don't believe everything people tell you, even your friends. You can't live that way. You have to be aware of what they're like as people and realize that they're capable of doing shitty things sometimes. I'm not saying be suspicious or be mistrustful or anything, but just use common sense and don't feel obliged to be a doormat for other people.
 

Disaster Button

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Feb 18, 2009
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Aby_Z said:
Disaster Button said:
Aby_Z said:
What do they do with/for you? What do you do for them? If you want to make a thread about your problems, why not say what the fuck the actual problem is?
Maybe he didn't want to make a thread about his problems, which is sorta why he didn't make a thread about his problems?
Then he wouldn't have mentioned as much about how this relates to his own problems.

Regardless, more information is still needed. Your best friend could easily be someone who you almost never see or interact with, and someone you're around all the time could easily just be an acquaintance.
I figured the question being asked was more related to a hypothetical situation that we could relate to and he mentioned that problem relating to his friend (or whoever) as a basis for the question.
 

delet

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Nov 2, 2008
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Disaster Button said:
Aby_Z said:
Disaster Button said:
Aby_Z said:
What do they do with/for you? What do you do for them? If you want to make a thread about your problems, why not say what the fuck the actual problem is?
Maybe he didn't want to make a thread about his problems, which is sorta why he didn't make a thread about his problems?
Then he wouldn't have mentioned as much about how this relates to his own problems.

Regardless, more information is still needed. Your best friend could easily be someone who you almost never see or interact with, and someone you're around all the time could easily just be an acquaintance.
I figured the question being asked was more related to a hypothetical situation that we could relate to and he mentioned that problem relating to his friend (or whoever) as a basis for the question.
Refer to the second part of my post. That is my response.
 

TehCookie

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Sep 16, 2008
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Well it depends on how often you try to hang out with them, they probably have a social life beyond you. Even though you are their best friend, that just means they trust you and will be there when you need it, not every time you call (that's what bf/gfs are for). Or they could be avoiding you or have a different interpretation of best friend. I had one friend where anyone she talked to on a regular basis was her best friend. It got to the point where it was just to annoying to hang out with her (if I called her up she would be busy, if we made plans she forget and hang out with someone else. She wasn't avoiding me, she was just so popular everyone was begging for her attention whoever yelled the loudest would get it and I didn't feel like doing that.)
 

Questalace

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Aug 9, 2010
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Aby_Z said:
What do they do with/for you? What do you do for them? If you want to make a thread about your problems, why not say what the fuck the actual problem is?[footnote]Moderator Edit: Please be more respectful when addressing others. Thanks![/footnote][footnote]Yo, Mod! You know warnings aren't supposed to be visible to the public, right? Follow you own rules, please.[/footnote]
I made this thread to discuss a question I found to be intresting considering the subjectivity of the answer, not to moan about my life's dramas. I included the part about my problem to help people get a better grasp on "where I was coming from" if the example was inadequate. Sorry if I misled you :D
 

delet

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Questalace said:
Aby_Z said:
What do they do with/for you? What do you do for them? If you want to make a thread about your problems, why not say what the fuck the actual problem is?[footnote]Moderator Edit: Please be more respectful when addressing others. Thanks![/footnote][footnote]Yo, Mod! You know warnings aren't supposed to be visible to the public, right? Follow you own rules, please.[/footnote]
I made this thread to discuss a question I found to be intresting considering the subjectivity of the answer, not to moan about my life's dramas. I included the part about my problem to help people get a better grasp on "where I was coming from" if the example was inadequate. Sorry if I misled you :D
Ok. Refer to the second part of my second post in this thread, then to the first part of my first post in this thread; That is my response.
 

Irony's Acolyte

Back from the Depths
Mar 9, 2010
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Now I understand that people can make mistakes, so sometimes actions can be misleading but it's alot easier to say something than it is to mean it, and generally actions show what you mean.

So yeah, I'll usually go with actions, but I'll still take words into account.
 

Questalace

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Aug 9, 2010
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Aby_Z said:
Questalace said:
Aby_Z said:
What do they do with/for you? What do you do for them? If you want to make a thread about your problems, why not say what the fuck the actual problem is?[footnote]Moderator Edit: Please be more respectful when addressing others. Thanks![/footnote][footnote]Yo, Mod! You know warnings aren't supposed to be visible to the public, right? Follow you own rules, please.[/footnote]
I made this thread to discuss a question I found to be intresting considering the subjectivity of the answer, not to moan about my life's dramas. I included the part about my problem to help people get a better grasp on "where I was coming from" if the example was inadequate. Sorry if I misled you :D
Ok. Refer to the second part of my second post in this thread, then to the first part of my first post in this thread; That is my response.
Well, refer to "A fuck was not given" section of my, and most people's in this thread, brain for your reply as it is not constructive and you certainly don't care for this subject as you are looking to do the following, complain/*****/moan or argue, create your own thread and take your Napoleon complex elsewhere :)
 

darth.pixie

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Jan 20, 2011
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Oh this actually happened to me, somewhat. Stopped hanging out with me, stopped talking a lot on the phone, we barely talked in person. Of course, I didn't consider that person my best friend but it was irritating since she always came to me with her problems. It got to a point where I stopped bothering and she always called only when she needed something.

Then I changed my phone number and e-mail and stopped talking to her altogether.

Actions rather than words, otherwise the words just have no value.
 

CactiComplex

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Jan 22, 2011
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Actions, which is kind of odd for someone who does 99% of their socialising on-line. Thing is, people lie and they lie a lot, or so I've found. There may be one rare person every once in a while whose actions match their words perfectly, but the odds are that person will vanish after a while. Actions say everything.

Damn, so cynical.