Poll: Can males and females simply "just be friends"?

[blue.blink]

I would have to say maybe to this question. I'm tempted to say outright no because every girl that I'm currently friends with I wanted to sleep with when we met. I've slept with some, some not, but the fact remains unless you and the girl(s)/guy(s) you hang out with have the personality of sponges you'll probably find yourself attracted to said person.

 

[Greeboz]

do you believe it is possible for males and females to be close friends without one person having feelings for the other at some stage throughout the duration of the friendship?

No, I have been great friends with a girl for about 3 years. Half of my Senior year I had a crush on her, I got the guts to ask her out to prom and she said yes. I fucked it up hard and now we're just friends again.

 

[Insideout Ink Demon]

I can think of one close female friend thatt if I got with her, I imagine it would feel like incest. So I think yes it is possible to be close friends yet nothing more

 

[MiracleOfSound]

As long as there's no sexual chemistry from either side, then yes.

 

[Stasisesque]

Yes. My closest friends have always been male.

Two of them I could never see as anything more than pseudo-adopted little brothers. I love them to pieces and have never and will never see them in a sexual or romantic light, and vice versa.

Two of them recently expressed interest in being more than friends. It's awkward now, but it will pass; and I see them as nothing more than friends.

And my closest friend, well, that's weird but works.

It has nothing to do with the gender or sexual orientation of a person (for instance I was absolutely infatuated with one of my best female friends a few years back), and all to do with the people themselves.

 

[Daipire]

Yes, if the girl is ugly.

 

[silasbufu]

Well I know I can't . I choose hot female friends

 

[Richard Hao]

Yes, it most certainly is possible. Although it may not be the case for many people here who disagree (especially if she's hot and if you've never had a girlfriend before)... some people do manage to get it working that way.

I'm not making a generalisation but just to illustrate, maybe when you've outgrown your pre-teen urges, been in a few relationships to know what really matters and know what you're looking for in love, you'll start to understand why beauty is fleeting and charm is deceptive.

Perhaps for those who think it's impossible, maybe 10 years down the road, your best friend will be a girl. Who knows?

 

[Glamorgan]

Yep. My best friend is a girl, I completely trust her, I don't have any feelings towards her, and she's in a relationship. Ergo, yes.

 

[jultub]

I'd say that two gay people of different genders could be that close friends without ever having those feelings for eachother. Haven't seen it anywhere else, but I suppose the possibility exists.

 

[Mistermixmaster]

It may be possible for some, but in my case? I don't think so. At least I havent had any luck with it

(and yes, I'm talking about the close personal friends as the Original Poster said in the bold typing. I don't go around having feelings for a lot of people, even as a HSP (and that's Highly Sensitive Person, in case you didn't know))

 

[P.Tsunami]

I certainly get what the OP is going for. For sure, I've had friendships with girls wither because either I or her developed unrequited feelings. However, this doesn't mean it always happens. It's a tendency, but in no way a rule. I've got plenty of female friends who I've never entertained romantic feelings for, and I'm pretty sure haven't towards me, either.

 

[Kalapixie]

Don't mind me, this being my first post and all. I'm quite a lurker.

Now I wouldn't consider myself the most beautiful woman on the planet, but I don't consider myself the ugliest either, so moving on from there.

My two absolute best friends are male. One, is my long term boyfriend, but the sexual feelings there are pretty obvious. The other, is my best friend since pretty much we were born. Our families were good friends before we were even born.

So I'll say this quite plainly, once you see your best friends teeny dingaling when he gets out of the shower at age 5....any sexual tension pretty much goes away for the rest of the friendship. (That said, he's probably had feelings for me at points, and I've had feelings for him. But to think that in ANY way harms or lessens our friendship is stupid and silly.)

- Melody

 

[Iron Lightning]

To say that there is anything humans can possibly do, but won't, is entirely silly. We are quite simply the species that will do anything we can, from walking on the moon to having sex with dead rats, we are the species that does it all (we're all total sluts like that.)

To answer your question, yes, it is completely possible. I imagine that this happens quite often in situations the male and/or the female is staunchly homosexual. If you are referring to heterosexuals only, then I believe that they can "just be friends" provided that there are substantial undesirable traits (close genetic relation, physical deformation, vast age difference, etc.) in one or both of these "friends." However if you are referring to a pair of heterosexuals who share desirable aspects then I see no reason why the two would not feel some attraction on an animal level. Of course any rule has exceptions, which is why I answered "Yes."

Human beings are natural creatures imbued with the higher intellect to pervert nature.

 

[Samurai Goomba]

It's pretty silly to say no. Why can't you have a close personal friend of the opposite gender without it being about? It's actually one of the things you'd want to happen, the more you know about your targets the better.

Huh? Whether or not it's a good thing to know as a friend somebody you later decide to date doesn't really affect the question asked. I fail to see why it's silly. Keep in mind we aren't just talking "friends" like "work friends" or "school friends." This would be, like, one of your BEST friends (check the OP-it is very specific this is an extremely close friendship). And if she was attractive, can you really say you would NEVER have feelings for her? Usually your friends share your interests. So here we have a not-unattractive girl who shares many of your interests.

I think it's pretty silly to say "yes, I would never have feelings for this person."

I'd say that two gay people of different genders could be that close friends without ever having those feelings for eachother. Haven't seen it anywhere else, but I suppose the possibility exists.

Being straight is implied. That's ducking the real question. Besides, even then I bet one of them might have romantic feelings towards the other while at the same time being repulsed on a physical level by his/her sexual orientation.

Yep. My best friend is a girl, I completely trust her, I don't have any feelings towards her, and she's in a relationship. Ergo, yes.

For now. Besides, you can only know your side of things. You don't know that she's NEVER had feelings for you, do you?

Basically what I'm saying to everyone who says "yes" is that it's pretty much statistically impossible for a (fairly attractive) straight man and (fairly attractive) straight woman to be very, very close friends, spend a lot of time together in close proximity and never entertain thoughts of being intimate with or entering into a romantic relationship with the other.

Now family, that is what I'd consider the ONE exception.

 

[KdS_22]

I would say that yes it is possible, but not very common at least. I only have one friend who is a girl who I haven't at least considered banging. I know that sounds crude, but it's the truth. We've known each other since the womb, and she is almost literally my sister (she lists me as her brother on her FB page ). Every other attractive female friend of mine has either had feelings for me or vice versa at some point during our friendship. But that's just my experience. I'm sure someone who claims to be an "asexual" or whatever would have an easier time with it.

And btw, I am still friends with the majority of the girls I've dated in the past, for one of two reasons: (both are true)
1. I genuinely care about some of them, and still love one of them.
2. I believe there is the possibility of a "future" relationship still lingering, and I am still physically attracted to them.

If you're not physically attracted to a girl or guy, then it's a hell of a lot easier to view her/him as "just a friend."

As a counter-example to mine, I have a friend who seems to instantly fall in love with any girl that gives him the time of day. I feel sorry for the guy, because this makes things terribly awkward around almost every girl he knows.

So I guess it just depends on the person. ^_^

 

[jamesworkshop]

One of my closest friends is a female and neither of us have ever had "feelings" for the other. Funnily, a large part of this for me is that she has a good three inches on me. This sounds stupid but it keeps me from being sexually attracted to her and wanting something more. She's pretty and were she my height or shorter I probably would have tried to become something else to her. In summary I think the answer to the question bears largely on sexual attraction. I don't think you can be close friends in the way the OP described if one person is attracted to the other.

Don't be afraid to date taller girls it makes people think you have a lot of money

http://images.mirror.co.uk/upl/m4/apr2009/8/8/penny-lancaster-and-rod-stewart-pic-getty-576931110.jpg

http://www.topnews.in/light/files/tom-holmes.jpg

Yeah he's hittin that

 

[Lonator]

Yes definatley, one of my best friends is a girl who I share everything with and we are close friends. However people constantly think that we are going out, it does get annoying after a while.

 

[avatar_vii]

yes they can, a vast majority of my friends are female