Poll: Do you believe the Friend Zone exists?

lacktheknack

Je suis joined jewels.
Jan 19, 2009
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Oh, absolutely. Every girl I meet is firmly in the friendzone. It's freeing!

(This is only half-sarcastic.)
 

SirDeadly

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Feb 22, 2009
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A girl I was talking to (quite interested in too) said she had put a couple of guys in the friendzone recently because she didn't have the same feelings. So yes, I think it does exist.
 
Aug 1, 2010
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tippy2k2 said:
I guess it depends on your definition of "Friend Zone"
Basically this.

Neither side of the debate ever acknowledges how the other defines the term.

Shanicus said:
The Friend Zone is the idiotic concept that the reason a woman has rejected a man is because she is only interested in dating 'assholes', shunting all the 'nice guys' she knows into the Friend Zone as she only wants to be 'good friends' with them.
See? Just like this. When you re-define the phrase, all the arguments, direct insults and name calling later on seem reasonable.

For my money, I believe everything happens and that it's silly to say a social concept "doesn't exist" in any sense.

Sometimes people want to be in a relationship with another person, but the feelings are only seen as friendship.

I also absolutely believe there are instances where one or both parties try to take advantage of the situation and manipulate the other person, either because they know the feelings the other has toward them or because they want to force the other person to feel the same way they do.
 

Signa

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I'm not sure how the concept of the "friend zone" is at all tied to the selfish people that expect sex for being nice. Just because there's assholes out there doesn't mean that the phenomenon doesn't exist. That's like saying animal bites don't exist because only people that abused animals ever get bit. Animals bite for any reason, it's how the recipient handles the situation and why it happened in the first place that colors our perception of it.
 

Andy Shandy

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Jun 7, 2010
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Yes. It's that one in Sonic 2 where Tails helps you chase down Robotnik. Since he's your friend ^_^


[sub]As for that other thing, no, not really, despite what Scrubs might say.[/sub]
 

The White Hunter

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Oct 19, 2011
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erttheking said:
I believe that's possible to have romantic interest in a friend who does not return the feeling. That's all.
Oh damn. /thread by the first reply.

Yeah it's possible to have romantic interest in a close friend and not have that affection reciprocated. A lot of people will have experience such a situation. There's a difference between that and being some creepy fuckwit on Tumblr stalking people online and claiming you were "friendzoned" when people blacklist you.
 

Netrigan

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Sep 29, 2010
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It exists insofar as people will always think of other people as friends rather than potential mates.

But generally speaking, the sort of person who complains about the Friendzone was attempting to use a faux friendship to go after what they really wanted. I've asked out friends and if you truly think of them as your friend you accept their rejection without anger.
 
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Yeah, as pretty much the first 2 or 3 posters and a good number of others have said, I'd always taken it to a way to describe a situation where one person is interested in another romantically but the other is only interested in friendship.

That said it's probably been used a lot in other ways as well.

That's the problem with these ill defined slang phrases, they mean different things to different people.
 

xPixelatedx

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Jan 19, 2011
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Considering I am friends with some women I wouldn't want a romantic relationship with yes, yes it is real.

The Lunatic said:
I don't think the "Friendzone" exists as a conscious thing in men or women. I think it just happens, and it doesn't really appear to be the fault of anyone in particular.
That is indeed an important point to make when talking about these things, yes!
 

Netrigan

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xPixelatedx said:
Considering I am friends with some women I wouldn't want a romantic relationship with yes, yes it is real.

The Lunatic said:
I don't think the "Friendzone" exists as a conscious thing in men or women. I think it just happens, and it doesn't really appear to be the fault of anyone in particular.
That is indeed an important point to make when talking about these things, yes!
The Friendzone as noun seems an apt way to describe the feeling.

It's Friendzoned and Friendzoning (verbs) which is the objection. It wasn't done to you, it just is.

And, yes, it sucks but it's no one's fault. Just about everyone has done the unrequited love thing with a friend. You just have to accept the feelings aren't returned.
 

zumbledum

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Saucycarpdog said:
A little conundrum that got into my head after hearing an argument last night while playing. Its curious cause some say its a real thing while others think its a stupid nonexistent concept.

What's your take on it?

The friend zone

A likes B , A wants to ask B out, A doesnt have the confidence to go for it, A aims lower and claims "i just want to be friends"
A friendzones self, B finds out A likes them but its too late the relationship rules have been set, A starts drinking cheap cider and asks the wrong questions of god and the universe in general.
 

WindKnight

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mecegirl said:
Xiado said:
There's a time limit on creating female attraction, and what happens when it runs out is commonly called the friendzone by guys who don't know how to get a woman to be attracted to them. If you get game then the concept becomes meaningless, it's fundamentally a beta male concept.
This idea is part of the reason why I say that the friendzone doesn't exist. There is no concrete time range. You can't bypass rejection, or increase your odds for acceptance, just by asking right a way. In some cases a woman will know immediately, in others feelings may develop or change. Just like how a guy will either know immediately if he wants to ask someone out, or how his feelings may change once he gets to know someone. But usually you know if you are interested in someone romantically the first time you meet them because the first time you meet them you will decide if they are attractive or not. In most cases romantic feeling will develop over time, not disinterest. And on occasion someone who you think is cute can become less attractive because you discover that they have a shitty attitude.

But there is no switch that turns off in a woman's brain if a guy who is friendly to her doesn't immediately ask. And there is no way to create "female attraction". She either thinks a dude is cute and starts to wait for said dude to ask her out because gender roles. Or she thinks that the dude has enough similar interests to be friends with.
I have to point out the guy your quoting is using 'pick up artist' terminology - 'game' and 'beta male'. He probably subscribes to the belief his 'game' can get him into any sexual relationship he desires.

(said 'games' can include gaslighting and sexual assault, and are general more about getting the PUA laid, and not really about creating a healthy relationship)
 

Batou667

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Oct 5, 2011
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I think the friendzone exists but the term gets frequently over-applied to any example of unrequited love.

And yeah, the situation does exist where a guy can feel "entitled" to a relationship because he's invested time, money, has confessed his love, etc. This is usually awkward, often turns out pretty damn ugly, but isn't exclusive to men.

What I think might constitute a genuine "friendzone" is when one person is making no real pretense about how they feel, the other person knows damn well they're leading them on, but rather than being honest or cutting them loose, they perpetuate the situation because it benefits them in some way. Perhaps the attention is an ego-boost, maybe they get bought gifts, maybe they're relying on that person for transport, and so on.

Because of the societal norms we live by, the person doing the "giving" is usually male, and the person doing the "withholding" is usually female. Man as provider, female chastity is valued, etc. Can men ever lead on women in a similar way? Sure, but due to gender roles that's often in the form of, say, a guy using a girl for sex when she is hoping for a long-term relationship. Or a man getting rent-free accommodation with his girlfriend, because he's letting her believe that there will be a child and marriage in it for her eventually. This kind of thing isn't usually called friendzoning, but I think it's the equivalent asymmetric relationship.

Examples of males in the friendzone?




Don't get me wrong, I'm not for a minute saying that friendzoned guys are "owed" sex, or affection, or whatever. What they're owed is compassion and honesty. Unrequited love sucks - we've all been there, right? - and being strung along and being given false hope is an act of cruelty. And if that's happening because their money, or transport, or emotional support is considered a useful commodity, then that's an act of exploitation - and that's wrong, even if you're a pretty, popular girl.

 

loa

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Yes, people who can't take "no" for an answer as well as unrequited love exist.
 

Gamer87

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Yes, unrequited love happens and it sucks and its okay to be sad and whine about it. It stops being okay, however, when you start blaming the person who rejected you, that's just selfish and dickish.

From my experience, the people who use the phrase "friend zone" are usually the ones being jerks about it, so I don't know if it's a good term to use for unrequited love when it has such negative connotations. If you say you are being "friend zoned" if can't help but think about this pathetic guy:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6DD45wBDLNs&list=UUp1xCZ4ODNM2OJuKoBrghDA In The Zone by Auralnauts
 

JUMBO PALACE

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The friend zone exists but only as just that, a state of being in friendship. The friend zone people ***** about is a lie. The "good" guys who wind up put in the friend zone end up there because they aren't actually good guys. They ingratiate themselves to people and do favors for them while they wait for a moment of vulnerability to make their move and hopefully win over another person's love. If not for their romantic feelings, these "nice guys" wouldn't be doing all of the sucking up that they do. You can be a nice guy without being a deceitful barnacle. Being nice to people does not make you deserving of their love or genitals. Being nice to people should be a given. Make your intentions known, go after what you want, and be willing to face rejection rather than exist within an amorphous friend with feelings relationship. The friend zone makes it sound like being friends with someone of the opposite sex is a bad thing when it really isn't. Friends are great! But people need to come to terms with the fact that romantic feelings are very often not reciprocated in life and that that's okay.
 

shrekfan246

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Andy Shandy said:
Yes. It's that one in Sonic 2 where Tails helps you chase down Robotnik. Since he's your friend ^_^


[sub]As for that other thing, no, not really, despite what Scrubs might say.[/sub]
You're one of those heretics who plays Sonic 2 with solo Sonic?

And I thought we were friends.

OT: I can't really add anything new here.

Insofar as "I have feelings for them but they don't for me" is concerned, yes, as far as "I am a perfect gentleman, DATE ME NOW!!!!" is concerned, not really.

So basically, you've entered... The Scary Door.
 

giles

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I did enjoy all the shadowboxing in this thread against some nebulous Nice Guys (with the capitals). I'm not gonna name anyone here because that will get me a warning, but some of those tirades read like a neckbeard doormat manifesto. What, you think women can't give false signals and then backpaddle for their personal gains? Batou667 gave some easy examples. I can't comment on how common this is, but it's certainly a thing that's happening. Now, the concept has certainly been abused to shift the "blame" for unrequited love on the rejecting party. 'Suppose venting your weltschmerz by assigning blame is the easiest way, even though nobody really is at fault in this situation. Just tough luck.

But you guys keep fighting the good fight and stick it to those Nice Guys in the shadows. Gotta have someone to look down on, right?